Just diagnosed

[condor]

my friend at work has just recently been diagnosed with lupus, and i would like some ideas of how to help her, can anyone list me a few things i could do? maybe some advice on how you cope? ect

thx in advance

[KittenPaws]

Glad your friend was diagnosed finally.

The best thing i can say is to just be her friend and be yourself. Great friends are hard to come by with any illness and tough times are hard alone.

OH and have lots and lots of fun :)

:love: kitten

[condor]

well im 20, and she is like 47? i think, were just friends at work, i only see her 2 times per week, and i wanted to try to help her, what do people who suffer from lupus feel at times and stuff, i just wanna make her feel happy at work, cos sometimes i see her feeling down, when she is by herself :(

[Clare.T]

People with lupus feel all sorts, depending how their lupus is affecting them but fatigue and pain are a major symptom. They are often sad and depressed because lupus affects their lives in so many ways, often loss of work, loss of friends and social opportunities.

I would think you can help her unobtrusively as much as possible, but probably avoid asking her how she is. You don't say how you found out about the lupus which affects your options as to how much you can say to her.

Treat her with extra consideration, I'd say. You can't be all that close after all.

Clare

[condor]

well, she told me she had it, and tells me how she is feeling ect, i try to do most of her work for her :P

[Tylers Nana]

Hello,

First off I would like to say that she is very fortunate to have a friend like you at work. Just having someone who is trying to understand means a lot. You might want to give her this website so she can come here and realize she is not alone.

If you go back to the opening page of this site, you will find all kinds of information about lupus and symptoms, etc. It would give you a better understanding of what is going on. Also reading the posts here gives you a good understanding of the pains, fatigue, and depression one can go thru.

She is fortunate to have you! :D
Janice

[raggedyann1]

condor,

It is very nice of you to take some of her workload. That is probably the best thing you can do for her. We have good days and bad days. Please don't coddle her at least I wouldn't like that. We try and maintain as much independence as we can. If she recently was diagnosed it will probably take a couple of months for her medications to start working.

Do encourage her to come here to the site. We can understand her in ways that you won't be able to.

Take care,
Karen

[rwb200]

Probably the best thing you can do for her is just be there. Show your concern and that you care but do not ask a bunch of questions that she may not know answers to or may add to what she is already dealling with.

Give her a kind ear to talk to and let her do most of the talking. If she does ask questions then be honest with her about your answers.
If she starts to be alone just let her know that you care about her and you will be there.
If others ask questions then try to answer as best you can without getting into a bunch of personnel stuff that she may tell a kind ear but not want everyone to know about.

Most of all be understanding. If she was just diagnosed she is still trying to learn what this is that she has and she is scared. It is never easy to hear that you have something that they know so little about. This rush of emotions can cause mood swings and she may be down or up at any given minute.
Undertsand that this is normal and if she seems a little cranky at times it can be because she is dealling with alot and because she may be having adjustments to the new medications that she is on.
She may have days that all she wants to do or can do is just set. If possible let her do it and understand that this is very hard for her and Lupus can be very hard on the body and how it makes you feel.

[condor]

okay, thanks everyone, the info is a big help, :)
i'll be sure to give her this forum's address so she can talk with you guys :)

thx again :wiggle: