parents

[loz82]

hi every1

im not sure what to do about my mother,im 23 and still live at home with her and my dad. She understands i have sle lupus but yet wont stop going on and on about me not doind anything (this is because i am always tired - i also have hypothyroidism which doesnt help) i am holding down a part-time job (3 days a week) and try and go to the gym to stay fit etc (due to above problems and diabetes).

We keep falling out and its upsetting me, this is getting me stressed and then i feel more ill, weve fallen out today and ive been in tears and ive come round to my boyfriends but i feel like i cant cope anymore with all the falling out. i love my mum dearly, shes always been there 4 me thru everything so i fel like im in a no win situation, sorry 4 going on and on but just feel so upset at the mo

thanks for listening

loz
x

[RAD1]

I just wanted to post you a note. You are so young to be dealing with these medical problems and I know family members can be such a burden to add to it :flowers:

Even though they love you and you know that. It doesn't help with the emotional pain. I would seek professional help, depression sometimes comes along with overwhelming problems people like us face. It is only my opinion of course, but it has helped me and still helps me. I'm so much older than you but age has nothing to do with depression. Life can be so brutal, sadly overwhelming, and it helps to know I'm not alone but it's not enough when medication is needed.
Hypothyroidism can cause depression, it has for me. My tests shows that it comes and goes, riding Lupus's ugly back :angry: As well as my high blood pressure that seems to be extremely high at times and then very low. I never know when. There are things I never mention to my family, I just go take care of it myselt. I know they can never feel what I feel, they can empathize and worry but after these years, I know better than anyone what I need and no longer say a whole lot to them. In your situation and knowing what I know now, I would go get all the professional help I could get! Whether it is medical or phychiatric (sp?) it wouldn't matter. I read these posts on this site and am so sad for the plight of how this disease can tear people's lives to shreads and behind each one of us is a person that matters, that God loves and that we have a road to walk and decisions to make for ourselves. We can't help those who do not understand or don't want to acknowledge that we are seriously ill.
I know they love you and that's wonderful but you need to educate yourself, talk to professionals, ask questions and most of all take care of yourself!!
Best Wishes,

Ruth

[alobreto]

Hi, Loz! ;)
It sounds like your whole family is suffering with the stresses of chronic illness. Would it be possible to get your family into counselling with you so that you all get an idea of more healthy ways to interact in light of the stressors?

Mom may be grieving the loss of a healthy daughter, grief that was delayed until you were of an age when most young people venture out on their own. And you, at the same time, are grieving the loss of your own good health that has made you unable to be independant, yet.

Does mom go with you to the doctor's? If you'd feel comfortable with her there, it might help to ease the tension between you as she gains understanding of the obstacles you are overcoming daily and those that are overwhelming you right now.

Have you tried the 'Letter to Normals' pinned on this site? You can edit it to fit YOUR situation, print it off and have mom and dad both read it.

I wish you the best!
Angela :flowers:

[raggedyann1]

Loz,

I agree with Alobreto about family counseling but if that won't work individual counseling would benefit you greatly. I have been working with my pastor ever since I got sick again, I don't know how I would have managed without him. I am 44 but a chronic illness is a chronic illness no matter what your age. There are organizations that provide counseling at low or no cost for people like you who are on a limited income.

I would also suggest talking to your doctor about anti-depressants. I take them and several of my friends from here take them as well.

The Letter to Normals is at the top of this forum.

Take care,
Karen

[jude mack]

Hi Loz

Sorry to hear you and your mom are at odds, maybe you could get her to read
some of the posts here, if you can't get her to agree with family counseling.
She may be short with you, due to having to deal with the fact that her daughter is
ill, and is having a hard time dealing with that.

As suggested counseling and anti deppressants sound like very good advise,
maybe you should consider this. I know it has helped me in the past, and I
would go again in a heartbeat if I need it.

Take care. Jude :hugbetter: