Lupus teenager sweetheart :)

[lilsweety89]

<span style="color:#FF99FF"><span style="font-size:11pt;line-height:100%">Hey Everyone! My name is Quai, short for Quaishanna and I have lupus, it took me a while to admit it to myself but I do have it. I got it when I was just about to turn 14 in like 2 months,it was horrible. I had to go on steriods and my body started to change and I started to feel really self concious and have bad mood swings. What makes it even worse is that Im a gemini,which means I already have mood swings,not to mention Im a teenager girl style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/tongue.gif it just adds to it you know. but anyway yeah when I first got on the steriods I gained alot of weight n looks dont really matter to me but they do to other people n people started to talk about me meanly and make up rumours to why I was missing so much school, I think the craziest rumour I heard was that I like had a love child in miami and I was going to find her or sumin style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/tongue.gif style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/ohmy.gif I mean how crazy is that! lol but I had really good friends at the time and i didnt tell them at first but it came out cause one of my freinds opened her big mouth style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/tongue.gif style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/mad.gif (i mean that wit love,big is beautiful) n told them. But now that Im in highschool its alot harder. I cant concentrate and its hard to pass my classes. I try really hard and I was just 5 % away from being on the honour roll which is really cool i never got on that before but i didnt make it style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/sad.gif i was so sad when i didnt. im not one of those smart people so the fact that i got so close made me sad,im really not thats smart. i just wanted to be on the honour roll for the free pizza party style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/bigsmile.gif and since i didnt make it first semister im not gonna try second semister,i worked so hard and i cudnt do it so im giving up. i also get really depressed sometimes acuse people make fun of my cheeks cause there so puffy and my weight. i wasnt fat before lupus but now that i have it the steriods made me gain a huge amount of weight and i have to wear biggers clothes and its jsut nto fun, im not use to it so its hard and im not use to being talked about in a bad way. ive alwys been popular and its hard to hear people talking about me. im not shallow or anything i dont really care about how big or small you are its jsut that in higschool image is really important and other people care.ive always been nice to everyone and it just hurts that im getting made fun of cuz of something thats totally out of my control style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/sad.gif it makes me really sad sometimes. im kida new to the disease and its hard for me to cope with it. my family has been supportive kida but i dont think they know how much sad i get and how it feels, i feel tah they dont really understnad me. and ive always kida been center of attention n i still am but i just feel kida missunderstood. i love them to death but i dont think they totally get what im going through..and i dont wanna talk about it to them cause i feel like im complaining,my sister makes me feel like im complaining and my mom when i talk to them so i just keep it to myself n hide how sad i really am. its kida hard writting this cause i never really told anyone...umm i recently had a friend who i told everything too and we were really close but she got involved in some hardcore drugs and i didnt and now we dont talk much but we still keep in touch were just not as close as we use to be and i dont wana tell my other friends cause i dont wanna complain and i dont think theylll understand...some of my friends dont even know! i dont want everyone to know,im really secretive about it. something thats also hard is that im lonely, sometimes when me and my sister get into fights (it isnt often but when we do its likea world war or sumin) she says well at least i haev a b/f or sumin n that hurts me. no guy wants me cause im fat and look like a freak , i dont think people shud judge u on ur looks but guys do. and thats unfortunate. ummm the mood swings pretty much suck! i lvove my sister but she and ,my mom fight and its really abd and i hae to like seprate them and its really stressful on me and sumtimes i cant do it cause i get too tired style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/sad.gif n its just ...ugh. thees so much more i have to say but this post hasnt even been the clearest thing to read so im gonan stop now.if u read this thanks style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/smile.gif please comment i would really like that!
Love Quai

p.s. im making my sis dinner now so thats also why im stopping style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/smile.gif bye!</span></span>

[livvalivva]

Hey Quai
My name is livvy im 15 years old from New Zealand. Ive had lupus since i was 2. So i totally understand how you feel. Its ok to have down days but dont let lupus take over. Ive learned i can still b happy youve just got to feel confident in yourself!! style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/smile.gif Im also on steriods and know how you feel about the weight gain but your not FAT ok you cant help that so try not to let that get you down. There are some cruel kids in the world so if the tease you just take no notice your better than that! They probally have no idea how brave and strong youre being and probally couldnt last one day in your shoes. Also you dont need a boyfriend to b happy im still single and dnt have a problem about it. If you get really sad and out of sorts and find it difficult to talk to your mum try writting in a diary thats the way i get rid off all my unwanted feelings and always feel better after just complian to your diary. If that doesnt work i would really suggest you talk to your mum shes there for you k and would probally b sad if you werent happy and no you wont b complaining. Well take care
Hope to hear back from you
Luv Livvy style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/flowers.gif

[alobreto]

Hi, Quai! style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/wink.gif
I'm a REALLY old lady, 50 years old. Even so, I can relate with how people respond when someone looks different from people who are considered the ideal in a physical sense.

As you've realized, not all people respond in a negative way. It's hard to feel left out of things, even when it's your illness that keeps you from being as involved as you'd like. That doesn't mean you're all alone, though. And as for having a boyfriend, read the first sentence of this paragraph again. It says it all, I think.

And there is always hope for a remission in your future. Many, many people with lupus are normally active and they're just too busy to be posting on a site such as this.

You are a very strong young lady and express yourself well. I think you should keep trying for the honor roll. Just because you didn't make it last time, doesn't mean you will NEVER make it.
Angela style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/flowers.gif

[stefanie]

Hey Quai (love the name really cool!!!!!! style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/bigsmile.gif )

Well i'm a little older 22yrs but baby i can relate!!!!!!!! I have lupus and I was sick since I was 16 although they didn't know it was lupus then but when I started the steroids I blew up like the good year blimp!!! style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/afraid.gif style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/afraid.gif

it was so hard and having my boyfriend cheat on my because I didn't look as good as when we first starting going out (puffy and gaining weight!) I went through all that believe me darling i know! and going through highschool while sick is the pitts!!!!!!! but you can still smile cause we're here!!!! style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/bigsmile.gif style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/bigsmile.gif style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/hehe.gif

Feel free to post here anytime, cry,scream, be happy post whatever you want all emotions are welcome here lol
style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/bigsmile.gif style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/blink.gif style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/crying.gif style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/ermm.gif style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/aww.gif style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/afraid.gif (as you can see i love these smilies!)

Anyway just trying to make you smile dear

feel free to pm me here (us lupies have to stick together!!!!)

and as for guys not wanting you it's not true although there are really really really shallow guys especially in highschool there are great guys out there too

my b/f now is a darling and he's been in love with me even though i'm heavy!

keep smiling love!!!

We're here for you! style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/foryou.gif

[katrina]

Hey Quai,
Its me Katrina. Aw I'm so sorry about how your feeling! I honestly do know how it feels to go through this. I know it's really hard but honestly you gotta remember that things could be so much worse. I know your upset about gaining weight and everything but trust me once your medications are lowered it will come off. Your already exercising so your on the right track. You just gotta give it time. I know kids our age can be really cruel about it. But seriously this is one good way to find out who your real friends are. Plus you have to much going on to worry about what stupid people think. I know school can be really challenging..i mean i had to start home schooling when i got sick because of the chemotherapy and everything else going on and t honestly took so much stress off of me. I know you don't want to allow lupus to control your life but it does have a very big impact on it and there's really nothing you can do about it. When I was at my worst i didn't really like to talk to my friends about it how i was feeling either because it does feel like your complaining and they really don't understabd..most of my friends acted as if they didnt really care either. So i talked to my parents and I came on here because i knew at least on here i could vent if i wanted to, get advice and the people really seemed to care and understand what i was going through. Im sorry about your mom and sister. its so hard to deal with this and the stress of things at home but honestly if you ever need to talk just e-mail me or talk to me on msn i'm always here for you. I hope this helped hun feel better!
Love Katrina

[lilsweety89]

<span style="font-family:Comic Sans Ms"><span style="font-size:11pt;line-height:100%"><span style="color:#FF99FF">Omg guys! Thank you so much for actually like writting stuff to me! I was soo happy when I found out I got 4 replies!tahts great! thnaks sooo much guys,it means alot to me style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/smile.gif I feel so accepted style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/smile.gif and loved style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/jump.gif keep the loving comin people, i love it style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/wavey.gif ummmmm thanks so much for the comments of support! It made me really really happy style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/Thanx.gif ummm i dont know if when i wrote that i sounded really desperate for a b/f but im not style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/tongue.gif i think it would be nice yeah but its not like a huge deal for me.well im kida lying it kida is but im not really depressed about it or anything, ig uess it will happend when it does and he would have to be understanding n stuff. but its just that i got this when i was a teenager (hallo i still am style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/tongue.gif ) and thats when kids usually date and i havent really done that acuse this got in the way, and i dont wanna miss out on it style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/ohmy.gif style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/ermm.gif style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/sad.gif and i dunno all my friends say id be a good catch but its just really hard to put myself out there and say i like a guy or sumin cause im so afraid or rejection,ive always been but now since ive gotten this im alot more sensitive( and ive always been really sensitive) and im really not gonna put myself out there to be vulnerable or anything i just cant do it. but umm thanks everyone for the comments they make me really happy style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/smile.gif so thank u bunches!
Tomorow im off to sick kids hospital for this overnight iv thingy, my steriods havent been working properly or w.e so i have to go once every month for 3 months to take this iv thats suppose to like do wut the steriods arent :S i guess. i really dont liste to the docs when they talk to me cause they use really big words and its hard to follow them style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/ermm.gif i just like sit there eating a chocolate bar or sumin..yumm chooclate bar i want one. well yeah thats what i havw to do, i did it once before and thsi is my second time.one more time next month and ill be done hopefully! and then hopefully theylll lower my steriods so i can be off the pills from **** style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/rolleyes.gif that wud be heaven. u know how some kids want a pony and some teens want like a new car..i want to be off my steriods! lol ,well thanks guys the comments mean alot to me,love u all style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/hugbetter.gif mwah! take care
Quai style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/smile.gif</span></span></span>

[stefanie]

Hey Quai!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!

I'm sending good get well vibes to you for your hospital visit, hey and it's a day off school!!! that's how I used to look at it style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/bigsmile.gif

Don't worry about the boyfriend thing i'm only 22 and i've only dated like four guys, I had lots of offers but trust me you gotta wait for that right one! But once I got sick teh offers stoped and that's when I found the right man one that would love me for me and not my looks and you will find that too believe me i know.

mmmmm you mentioned chocolate bars yummy!!!!!!! I haven't had one in so long since you can get diabities with the steroids my B/F won't let me touch it (see your lucky you can eat them) What's your fave chocolate????? Mine is dairy Milk oooooooo I can taste it now LOL style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/bigsmile.gif style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/bigsmile.gif style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/hehe.gif

Anyway hope you do well at the hospital bring some nice comfy pjs and good book and if you can a stash of chocolate!! hehehe

K well take care and pm me sometime so we can chat maybe on msn!

style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/foryou.gif