25 weeks pregnant

[jm_jazzy]

Hi all,

I haven't been posting for a while now but really need some impartial and lupie advice. I am 25 weeks preggie with my first child. I am currently taking 5 mcg of pred and 100 of plaquenil. All test results are apparently excellent style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/woohoo.gif and there are no concerns by either my rhemy or the high risk ob/gyn. Everything is great.

My husband is away in NYC and will be for another 2 months. It has now been 2 months since I have seen him. Given that I am in the second trimester and everything is ok. I want to go visit. My doctors say it is fine and they see no problems. Australia to NYC is a 16 hour trip and I have been told I can only go if I travel business class, so I can stretch my legs. (oh the expense!) Although I do need to break the journey at LA.

Now, I really, really want to see my hubby. But my mother and several friends have said how bad it is in my 'condition' and they don't just mean pregnant. style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/sad.gif .

This has left me a little confused. I want to go but am now concerned that maybe the doctors will be wrong and I could have problems. My husband wants to see me and says to come. style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/blink.gif

I guess I can only make the decision myself but wanted to know what you all thought as this is really upsetting me. He can't come and see me and unless I go soon I will not be able to go at all and then will not see him until 1 month before the birth.

Help.

Jodie

[Clare.T]

That's a tough one. I would probably go if my docs said it's OK, and, big AND, my husband was completely happy about it. I am the sort who always thinks " what if " when making a decision and I think in this case it is more than reasonable to consider what if anything goes wrong, as it can anyway just sitting at home darning socks. The doctor's advice is only from the medical point of view not necessarily the one to make the decision on

So it's essential to consider medical insurance. Full coverage for you and the child with repatriation. It would be the height of folly to go to the USA without this, even for a healthy person. Not to mention the trouble caused to your husband who would have to break off whatever he's doing to care for you and you would both be without the family and friends support network. He might even have to stay on in the US if you or the baby needed hospitalisation and couldn't risk the flight back and I imagine this could be very awkward indeed, trouble on trouble.
So my advice is to discuss it thoroughly with him and don't put emotional pressure on him as he's the one who would have to bear the brunt.

Clare

[alobreto]

Wow! That IS a tough call! I don't envy your position at all.

Clare has brought up some very important factors to consider, though. And I, too, think that hubby needs to be clued in that they actually do figure into the equation of whether or not you should go.

Our hubbys often know when we really, really want something and are more than willing to agree with us simply because they care and know that is what WE want. Please be sure to let hubby know that even though you want to come, it may not be prudent at this time, and you won't be hurt if his concern for you and his child causes him to have reservations.

I wish you well and hope you have the nicest baby ever!
Angela style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/flowers.gif

[cath]

Only you can decide..... I can imagine how much you must want to go though style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/wub.gif

If you do decide to do it, it is worth you buying some flight socks - maybe even getting hospial standard TEDS prescribed for you. Pregnancy and long haul flights are both risk factors for DVT's, and if you have APS, that is another. Drink loads of water during the flight. If you drink so much you need to pee every hour, the exercise walking to the loo is also also good for your circulation... style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/coffee.gif

The others gave you good advice about insurance style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/hugbetter.gif

At least America has a decent standard of hygiene and health care. I would be more concerned if you were travelling to an area without safe water, unsafe unsterile needles, inadequate health infrastructure, or food likely to be contaminated with bacteria etc.

Good luck with deciding style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/foryou.gif

X C X

[seewald]

hi jodie
i believe u should consult another doctor and explain what u have already as answer from yur regular doctor and u want to make sure u can travel
if the second doctor tells u to go as well then i do not see y not
of course i am for to tell u if u should go or not
personally i would not surely if it is my first baby
good luck anyway and all the very best
myriam

[jm_jazzy]

style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/Thanx.gif

Hi all,

Thank you for your advice I really needed some expert Lupie advice. Yes it was a hard decision, your answers certainly helped and there would be no way I would go to USA without medical insurance. Goodness it could bankrupt us.

Once I posted and read your replies I felt a bit better and then I asked a friend who gave me a cool visualisation exercise. She said put the thought of going in one hand and not in the other to close my eyes and see which one weighed the heaviest. When I did that the going to NYC was a LOT heavier.

I then discussed with my husband how we would feel if I went and something did happen. We both decided we couldn't live with ourselves if something happened. We have waited a long time firstly to get pregnant, then to get to this stage, and we are almost there, to risk that for the sake of 8 weeks seemed silly.

I just really wanted to share this time with him and am finding it a little hard. Not because I am sick but because I actually feel so well. style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/hehe.gif And he is not here to share it. I think I will just spend the airfare on loads of phone calls. I don't think I can miss him anymore than I do and well we are half way there.

He will just have some making up to do. Although considering he has been there when I have been at my sickest, I probably owe him. style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/cloud9.gif

Thank you so much. I really appreciated your responses.

I will let you know how it goes (and when hubby comes home).

style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/wub.gif style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/foryou.gif

Bye for now.

Jodie