finding it hard

[tink]

hi i find i have no close ness at all with my husband now .
we had problems before but now its gone alltogether.
i have tried many times to talk to him but it does not get any better .
and now with this its worse .
guys you know how difficult it can be with pain and soreness all the time anyway .
he has turned into my carer not my husband any more and know mater what i do i can,t change it.
its not helping me because its making me more depressed .
i feel i have lost a big part of my life along with this illness.
how do i turn things around ?? i have tried talking,, loads of times but he just wants to give me money
years ago we were allways skint , but we were happy .
why don,t they realise that i don,t want things . <is this just one more thing i have to give up on,my relationship i mean. ??????
i am getting worse again .
making dinner tonight felt like climbing a giant mountin it took so much effort even i don,t understand it .
he wants me too book a holiday and i have tried loads too do it and find myself putting it off all the time .
i keep thinking its going too be hot and i am going too be sick .
why can,t i get on with things .
i want my life back its breaking my heart .i need to change and don,t know how .
my family don,t want to hear me moaning all the time i caught my daughter making faces at me a few times this week .they still don,t understand . sorry for going on i am a wreck again , i hate myself .tink

[tink]

style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/wub.gif thanks Teri you are allways there understanding and i know you have been a lot worse ,gosh how do you do it .
not getting any counselling at the moment its hard long wait on nhs.
did at first talked about it then but could not get myself to ask him to go .
guess i was still trying to cope with the illness to much at the begining
did chat about it but find it very difficult ,gues its down too being told to get on with things when small .
And a big don,t see the disease so they don,t understand YEP thats me even my son was saying you look good MUM grrrrr.
my daughter keeps saying she feels the same as me ,god i hope not .huby said she doesent but it worrys me.
taking me off my tablets have just sent me back again.
i don,t find the new ones work .saying that i don,t think much does work when the pain really kicks in .
i think i have done too much this week ,but the amount i am doing is getting less and less and thats why i am worring so much.wish you well teri style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/flowers.gif tink

[confused1]

((((((((( Tink )))))))))))

Sweetie, the pain comes through loud and clear. You clearly need some help handling the load you are carrying. Please consider talking to your physician about your feelings. Anti-depressants might help you through a hard time. And I don't think I could manage without a counselor to dump on from time to time.

Please don't judge yourself so harshly. Life can be merciless at times and we must be gentle with ourselves through those times.

Keep venting here. It's safe and we understand. Send a PM if you need. I always have time to read.

Love and prayers,
Sunny

[jm_jazzy]

Tink,

I don't know what to say. It is hard to get the other half to understand especially when something that seems so simple like booking a holiday is so, so hard.

Perhaps going on a holiday would be a chance to talk. Maybe that's why he suggested it.

Think of somewhere that you won't be obligated to go sightseeing, where you can relax, everything is included, and it is not too stressful to get there. Perhaps you could download some information from the internet, you could request some brochures and then discuss options with hubby and organise through a travel agent. That way you don't have to worry about finding all the details yourself. Do a little each day.

Funny things happen on holiday. Recently I went to Thailand with hubby. I was expecting to be affected by the sun, ill, hot and worn out. Funny thing was I was actually great and hubby was ill. style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/biggrin.gif Perhaps your hubby just wants a break and a chance to change your relationship.

I don't know. Just wanted to give you some suppport. style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/hugbetter.gif

Bye for now.

Jodie style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/foryou.gif