Work...boss.....

[vickijo]

I thought I had asked this question last Friday but for the life of me I can't find it. So, please forgive me if I am being redundant....my mind is worse.....even my daughter noticed while she was home for the holiday.

Anyway, my question is.....how much do I tell my boss about my illness and when do I tell him. It will be awhile before I se my rheumy....and there isn't a positvie diagnosis as of yet....but I am finding it harder and harder to work an 8 hr day.....and I am missing more work on the days that I just can't function at all.

Any ideas, suggestions or experiences will be helpful. I am half a fraid to say to much out of fear of losing my job. But, I believe in being honest and think he needs to know what is going on with me. He has been treating me like I had the flu or a cold or something.

Thanks!
Vicki

[helloos]

Hmmm...
that is a good question and I am afraid it is up to you to decide that one.

I am one to try to keep my personal stuff out of work including m medical stuff. My boss knows I have Lupus but that is it.

It is hard without a diagnosis for you to say " I have this..." but at the same time, you are unwell and on your way to some diagnosis. The process is frustrating.

I guess I would ask, how is your boss? Is your boss like a friend that you can confide in and will understand, not treat you differently, not get rid of you, not spread rumors?
The world is full of sensless people. Only you know your boss and how that person will react, etc.

If not, then I would just keep it simple. Just say You aren't feeling well and have a lot of testing going on and it may take some time to sort it out. Or use your personal time and/or vacation days for the days you can't function well. I try to make it in, that is the effort, if I can't stick it out, I at least came in, and left. They know I am not taking a beach day or goofing off.

Interested to hear others input.

I guess you have to weigh this one.

[Donna Marie]

Hello

When i was first diagnosed with Lupus i was working a 10 hour day. i worked 8am til 6.30 monday to friday with only half an hour lunch which is pushing illegal really.

My rheumy told me that i had to get more exercise and stay active!!!!!, i was scared of telling my boss this thinking that being unable to put the hours in that they wouldnt like it whatsoever.

I started with telling them that i had to find time to go to the gym and get myself fit, and i suggested that i finished at 5 instead of 6.30 as there was another lady in our office who could work later.

I work for a parcel company firm called Interlink Express and it is manic.

My suggestion is firstly tell them you are ill and then tell them it's Lupus, my boss looked at me like i'd got 3 eyes when i told him that , i explained it to him and i nearly broke down in front of him because i had no got used to the idea fully myself yet.

They don't treat me any different to any of the other girls which is what i want.

If you're boss is like mine he/she will understand, i did'nt really talk to my boss before but he was really understanding.


GOOD LUCK

i'm sure they will understand.

xx

[dee123]

hi

I found when i told my boss i had lupus you would of thought i'd been sent from mars no really i found that by telling my boss everything i know(admitting it not a lot) hewas very understanding and put me on light duties for a time, then i got signed off work two weeks ago the got another sick note for 3months (starts 2moro) i found that he wants mre information regarding lupus and right now i am unable ot give him it so i told him to look on this site so he can read for himself.. in my opinion it is always best to be open with them then they can accomadate yoy in the place of work if theyare able to..
i hope is of any use to to.. but i found it thebest policy and that is to be straight with them as if like me you may have lot time of work,,
take care

[jhmom]

Hi Vicki,

I was in a similar situation in 2004. When I started this particular job I was doing ok, had just started Plaq, had been home for a few months prior and was rested up. So I got this job, at first it was ok, then as the months went by my body started getting tired and I felt as tho I couldn't work full time. I decided to go to one of my boss' (the nice one) and speak to him about my health problems, however I couldn't tell him "exactly" what was wrong because I didn't know. I did mention lupus and he looked at me like I was from mars. He said he would talk to the other boss and get back with me, well they talked and decided they didn't want a part time person when they hired me and they didn't want one now. I kept on chugging on as best as I could and ended up leaving a few months after the discussion because of the way I was being treated when I was out sick or late. They basically told me they didn't care if I was sick that they hired me to do a job and they wanted it done (receptionist), they had other hateful things to say to me and I decided not to go back. It was a terrible situation to be in but thankfully right after that I got a great job with great people, people that have their priorties in order, family people who understand sickness. It made a HUGE difference and of course shortly after that I was dx with Lupus and started Imuran which helped a lot!

There are a lot of things to consider, how long have you had this job? What is your relationship like with your boss? Is he/she compassionate? Good luck

[pauline1946]

i agree the truth is always the best way to go.
your truth is you dont know for sure.

so you still have time to find an awnsew to your
question.

[zara]

I agree with Paula. It's none of their business really unless you feel that you want to disclose the information to make it easier on yourself. You know your situation better than anyone. On the one hand, it could be used against you and a means to push you out. On the other hand, you could gain understanding and they could work to accomodate you.

...

It is the truth that you are sick. That won't change whether you disclose it or not. We all have a right to privacy. Speaking of which, you may want to remove the reference to the name of your employer from your post. This is a great support forum, but it is public and can be read by anyone.

Good luck. Let us know what you decide.

[raggedyann1]

Hi,

I would not tell the boss anything that you are not legally required to tell him. They are there to run a business and may start to see you as a liability. The job I had at the time I first got lupus was a small firm and I was the companies top sales rep - in that case I told my bosses and they bent over backwards to accomadate me because they were afraid of losing the sales I brought in everymonth.

This time around I was not the star employee just an average sales rep - The day I called my boss to say I was sick again he told me call HR and go out on disability - period that was it. I called HR and went out on disability and became to ill to ever work again so I am on SSDI.

The point of my story is that unless you are a key player that is important in one way or another for the companies business it is better not to say much. Something like the doctors are putting me on a treatment plan and I should be back to normal in a few months. That is actually the truth for a large portion of lupus patients - maybe not back to normal but not having sick days all the time. If you have issues that fall under ADA accomadations (in the usa - different acronym in different countries) then you will need to tell your employer more in formation. Again I would tell them as little as possible. Don't lie but don't offer information that isnt necessary to your funcitoning on your job.

Take care,
Karen

[peonyprincess]

Vicki



I would be very careful at revealing any personal information, especially when it comes to your health. While some employers will treat you wonderfully, there are some that will treat you like a liability. We have so much going on that it would be nice to be able to have some relief from the various stressors ie work and not have to worry about it. Unfortunately, that is not the case today. My former employer knew that I had Lupus and then when I had surgery in Sept of 2005 and wound up in ICE for 2 months, she questioned me anout it. Then when I went back into the hosital in December, she called and told me that I was undependable and trachme. I also believe that she sabotaged my references when I thought that I could go back to work. We are in the middle of a nursing shortage and this nurse couldn't get a job. Makes one go hmmmmmmmmmm.

Just becareful when talking to your boss. Not sure if you are in the states or not, but lupus does fall unfer the Americans with Disabilites act. That means that your employer has to accomodate you to make your work space for used friendly so to speak.

Whatever you decide, good luck!!!

Nancy