got DLA but strange feelings about it

[caper]

Hello all
Got the letter from DLA yesterday. I have been awarded the higher rate mobility & care. (second time of applying). What has shocked me most is my own reaction to this. After all the trouble of applying again and feeling totally justified in expecting to get it. When it actually was spelled out to me that I was entitled, I became very upset. I now understand, after talking to people close to me, that I am finding it a real shock to know that someone else has recognised just how bad I am & how difficult life is these days. Clearly I had been denying myself that I was "disabled" even though I do use the term with no trouble. style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/aww.gif
The whole process of applying for DLA can for some people bring out feelings we never knew we had and force us to think about the losses we have faced with illness; actually getting confirmation of the "award" was not the celebration I had expected. I dont mean that its not good to have the extra money & other benefits that go with it & I do feel grateful, especially to those who helped me in the process ( the Welfare Rights officer, my GP & my family), but I think it may take a little time for me to accept what it means & also stop feeling guilty about all the others who are just as bad or perhaps worse than me and dont get it.
Sorry for this wittering. I would encourage anyone to get as much help as possible in making an application and wish all of those who are applying the very best of luck

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Caper

[Bern2]

Dear Caper,

I am so glad you got your DLA. Your reaction is totally understandable as you are closing the door on one part of you life, and another opens.

Do not concentrate on 'disability', but your abilities - which may lead you into unexpected areas of interest.

Your fight to get recognised is now over - look towards your future.

Good luck!

Regards
Bern

[bugsy]

<span style="font-size:11pt;line-height:100%"><span style="color:#FF6666">Hiya Caper style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/wavey.gif

First of all congratulations on the award of DLA.

I totally understand your feelings about it - i went thru the same as you. I think thats because i am still in denial to it all. One other thing that shocked me when i was awarded DLA was the reaction from others - especially my mum - she said that 'i must be worse than people thought - including herself, as DLA is a very hard benefit to get and you need to be really ill to get it.............'. That also made me realise how ill i must be - again down to denial.

Take care and again congrats to you XxX Jo XxX</span></span>

[hazel595]

Caper style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/foryou.gif first of all Congratulations on finally getting awarded the DLA......it sounds as if you have been trying for a while. I can totally understand how you feel and I think a lot of us that finally get the DLA award have felt exactly the same as you are now feeling.

The same sort of feelings cropped up for me when I was finally diagnosed after being told for quite a long time by a neurologist that I was 'bringing the symptoms on myself' or they were caused by 'stress and anxiety'.

I felt at the time of diagnosis 'see I was not imagining it'. After the initial feeling of 'at last someone really believes me and it was all backed up with blood tests'...........I was devasted to find out that it wasn't like a broken bone that was going to get better........bl***y ****....it was real and here to stay forever.

The denial takes a while and sometimes never goes away before you can accept things.....hope you realise that you are as good as you feel on any given day.....you just have to pace yourself a little more than you did before the symptoms became so much worse.

xxxxhazel

[sue90x]

Hi Caper,
well done with your award, its not a benefit easily obtatained, and you have it because you need it, you'll get used to the 'shock' eventually, make use of the time that family and friends are around (if its new to some of them) to realise that its no joke either. Mine sadly forget unless I go for a faster than averge ride in a mini bus with unpleasant loud music and a flashing blue light!take care
Suex


ARGH Hazel I had the exact same thing said to me by my neuro! what an insult to our stronger than average coping skills!! I didn't spit in his face but was sorely tempted, he told me that beauty Oct '04 and I haven't had an appointment since, my GP has heard nothing its like I've disappeared from face of the earth, it's still being chased up, I've a feeling I'll see a different neuro though! style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/hissy1.gif take care Suex