What's Expected Of You

[ASmallReminder]

I've been with my boyfriend for a number of years now. I had the supposed support system, the "no matter what happens I'll be there holding your hand". Now it's the complete opposite. I'm treated like I shouldn't be complaining and that im "not that sick". I was recently told that I have no chance of having a child. I couldn't even tell him about it, because he DIDNT WANT to hear it. Is it wrong to expect him to want to hear about my important doctors appointments. Why should I be punished and forced to go through something so painful on my own. In my mind, it's him that should have to suck it up and be there. Haven't I been through enough. Is that to much to ask.

[Angel_Baby]

(((HUGS)))
I know how you feel... it is very frustrating. Just as we go thrugh a denial period so do they. A lot of guys react this way, probably because they don't know what to do.
My husband is convinced that I am faking it. Even with the dx... even when I am crying in pain. He doesn't want to talk about ANYTHING related to "it". It is very hard and depressing not to have the one you loves support.
Here is to hoping they eventully come around.

lots of love

Tabitha

[Mariposa]

style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/hugbetter.gif I'm sorry ANGELBABY & SMALLREMINDER for what you both go through.
style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/shrug.gif I dont know why is so difficult for them to understand your pain. style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/sad.gif

[LilliesPad]

style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/hugbetter.gif style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/hugbetter.gif style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/hugbetter.gif style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/hugbetter.gif style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/hugbetter.gif style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/hugbetter.gif style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/hugbetter.gif style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/hugbetter.gif style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/hugbetter.gif style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/hugbetter.gif style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/hugbetter.gif style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/hugbetter.gif style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/hugbetter.gif style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/hugbetter.gif style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/hugbetter.gif style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/hugbetter.gif style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/hugbetter.gif

Lots of cyber hugs to everyone who find themselves in this position with a loved one. I hope you can find some consolation in the fact that all of us here understand and will be here for you whenever you need a listening ear or a shoulder to cry on.

[alobreto]

Hi, Smallreminder! style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/wink.gif
Just as each of us has to go our own way to come to terms with our health problems, so it is with those who care about us. It is a kind of pathway of grief over the loss of things we can't do because issues beyond our ability to change have interrupted our 'normal' life. Those same issues have interrupted the lives and dreams of those who care about us. Each of those people are in a state of grief just like we are. And it occurs at the same time, which makes it even harder to try to help each other.

As for your boyfriend's lack of support, there is not the same commitment in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship as there is in a marriage-- even if you live in the same household-- even if you're engaged. It just isn't there. To expect it is being unrealistic, IMO. It can be a difficult adjustment even when there is a committed marital relationship, so problems in a boyfriend/girlfriend situation are not at all surprising.

I'm sorry you're not getting the support you need from those who are near and dear. It's likely that they are just not able to provide it. It may simply be too painful for them to face. The solution to that is to seek support elsewhere and this forum is great for that. It's a place you can come to where the people will truly understand what we go through with chronic symptoms and multiple doc visits.

I wish you well as you move forward!
Angela style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/flowers.gif