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View Full Version : Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse!


whizzy35
06-13-2006, 07:29 PM
style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/crying.gif I apologize now and suggest that most of you just don't bother reading any further! style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/crying.gif

<span style="color:#6600cc">Well <span style="font-family:Comic Sans Ms">last week on Thursday I found out my father had Lung Cancer. He is meant to start the treatment on Thursday. He is still unsure as to what to do. But I can understand that dilema. I currently have bronchitis and feel like s*#t! On my second course of anti biotics fingers crossed they will do the trick. I took a week off work but daren't take anymore. I'm a primary school teacher and my Head Teacher always blames my Lupus for anytime I have off. A while back loads of teacher's in our school and all round Hampshire were off work due to a really bad tummy bug. But when it became my turn to have it it was all because I had Lupus. Anyway returned to work this week. I must admit I don't know how I'm doing it but I guess I have no choice if I want to keep my job. That I have to do as I live alone and have a mortgage and with out my income I would be forced to move back with my parents. This is not an option due to my own mental and at times physical welfare.</span></span>

<span style="font-family:Comic Sans MS"><span style="color:#6600cc">So return to work Monday to find out that the meeting which was booked with personal my Head myself and my Union rep was still going ahead. Get to the time of the meeting 2.45pm not my best time of day to make or listen to important information and to top it off my Union Rep didn't turn up. Anyway the meeting went ahead. Basically the under lieing issue is that My Head feels I am unable to furfilled my duties with Lupus. I have like most of us been unable to find any medication which has been of help or other intervention. I strated the symptoms of Flu, painful joints, fatigue!!!!!!, Migraine and forgetfullness and depression over a year and a half ago. I was lucky in the fact that I was diagnosised as having lupus and put on the Penequil [not sure or spelling] well it does help the pain slightly but still need pain killers especially at night. I have been given antidpressants and currently on the highest dose they can give me but only just keeping my head above water!</span></span>

<span style="font-family:Comic Sans MS"><span style="color:#6600cc">Any way in the meeting it was agreed that I woukd return to full classroom duties in Seotember. At present I am working full time but do not have a class of my own I am giving other teachers release time for paperwork great for them but I'm up and down the school all day great for my joints not!!</span></span>

<span style="font-family:Comic Sans MS"><span style="color:#6600cc">Then she went on to ask if I felt I would be able to stick out the whole year next year as I have had 6 weeks out of work this acedemic year. Which was largely caused by my Head constantly stressing me out telling me I was not doing all that was necessary for my duties as a teacher.I replied that I would do my best. Personnel then went on to suggest that if I continued to be ill or unable to continue with all the duties expected I may have to consider part-time or redeployment! Great how do I pay my mortgage and live then? It was then decided that I would have a meeting with personnel to discuss redeployment options next week. So what does that tell me? They have already made up their minds.</span></span>

<span style="font-family:Comic Sans MS"><span style="color:#6600cc">Today I had to see Occupational Health ongoing appointments to talk about where I am at. He says that as yet I have been unable to receive specialist input so how can they make the judgement that I will never be able to do the job and have Lupus. Luckily I do have an appointment at Southampton Lupus Clinic it has taken a long time to convince my GP to refer me there. I'm hoping they can help with the condition or at least suggest what I can do so I can continue to work effectively as a Teacher. I need the money to keep my house.</span></span>

<span style="font-family:Comic Sans MS"><span style="color:#6600cc">Of course all this stress with my job, being well and now my dad it feels like I'm fighting a battle I have no chance of winning. I unfortunately have no parental backing. They feel i'm just lazy. In fact when I recently got a card to allow me to parkin disabled parking bays my mother went toatlly loopy so God onyl knows what she will do when and if she finds out about my job now being at stake!</span></span>

<span style="font-family:Comic Sans MS"><span style="color:#6600cc">I feel I have no where to turn and can see no way out of this. I didn't choose to have Lupus I didn't so drugs or do anything which this was a probable outcome. Yet I'm made to feel I'm useless and a waste of space. It gets to the point that some days I just think what is the point of all this. If I were to disappear it would solve all my problems and from the way I see it it would also make some other people quite happy too - such as my boss.</span></span>

<span style="font-family:Comic Sans MS"><span style="color:#6600cc">Right now it would be unfair on my dad and my mum now expects me to be there to support her. Which is hard when they give me little if any support with my condition.</span></span>



<span style="font-family:Comic Sans MS"><span style="color:#6600cc">Sorry I'll just shut up I would like to say I was have just a bad day but it seems to be beyond that now a bad week, a bad month, a bad year, a hopeless life!</span></span>

<span style="font-family:Comic Sans MS"><span style="color:#6600cc">If you are still reading this you deserve and medal but take these with my love style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/foryou.gif </span></span>

<span style="font-family:Comic Sans MS"><span style="color:#6600cc">Whizzy style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/sigh.gif </span></span>

lazylegs
06-13-2006, 08:23 PM
Sorry to hear you are having such a stressful time. I hope your father has a complete recovery from his cancer. Your parents may not say they appreciate your support, but this may be a time when you could mend some fences in your relationship. Your health must come first though.

Don't give up on the job yet. I would recontact the union to ask why they weren't there to support you in this matter and what your options are. In the meantime all you can do is take care of yourself and do your job the best you can. Eat healthy, get more rest, do light exercises, stay out of the sun and stay up on your medications. Hopefully when you go to the South Hampton Clinic they will be able to find the right medication mix to help you feel better.

Feel free to vent either here or in the live chat. Most of us understand what you are going through. We may not be able to help but you will have a sympathetic ear.

Take care,
Lazylegs

rriffee@yahoo.com
06-13-2006, 08:28 PM
Hi Whizzy: I'm sorry to read about all your troubles style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/foryou.gif here are some for you. I hope your dad does well with his treatment. I wish you had some support in your family life. It has to be so hard for you. But please don't think that life isn't worth being here and that people would want it otherwise. We you go to your rheumy appt. they maybe be able to help you more than your GP can. I hope you get better soon. Take care. Mary Jane

Nell
06-13-2006, 09:08 PM
Dear Whizzy,

Don't appologize for needing some support! I'm sorry that your mom and dad aren't in your corner--shame on them! I come here due to sx my young daugher has and I find it SO disappointing when I read the stories of members who don't recieve support from their immediate family. Is there a Lupus support group in your area?

Do what you can to hang onto your job. Inform yourself of your rights etc. and take it one step at a time. It sounds like you need some advocacy. I'm an Am. so I don't know what sorts of resources are available to you in the UK. Setting out a plan with "action steps" helps me to feel more in control. My list of action steps can also help me redirect the helpless dialogue that, for example, our visits to the Drs. and the ER send me into.

You also have a right to cry about how difficult this all is at the moment. I hope you have a decent union rep. Let us know how things go.

Nell

Donna Marie
06-13-2006, 10:13 PM
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You really touched me with that!! xxx stick to your guns and it sounds like your boss is a complete winker! bless you, it's so unfair how people can treat people with Lupus.

I would ask to see the Union rep on his own it sounds a bit like your boss is a bit of a bully and he can't do that.

Chin up honey you're better than everyone and keep smiling. xxx

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xxx
TAKE CARE

whizzy35
06-13-2006, 10:23 PM
style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/Thanx.gif <span style="font-family:Comic Sans Ms"><span style="color:#993399">It has really helped to read your replies. style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/Thanx.gif </span></span>

<span style="font-family:Comic Sans MS"><span style="color:#993399">Meet my two new additions to my home they are really the only reason I have to keep going a friend of mine got them for me as I was getting so lonely and down.</span></span>

file:///C:/Documents%20and%20Settings/Liz/My%20Documents/My%20Pictures/kittens/oliver.jpgThis is Oliver he is a 8 week old black and white kitten and this is his sister who is also 8 weeks old and is called Evie.file:///C:/Documents%20and%20Settings/Liz/My%20Documents/My%20Pictures/kittens/evie.jpg. <span style="font-family:Comic Sans Ms"><span style="color:#cc33cc">No chance of being bored and down with these two in the house. Oliver is very cuddly and Evie wants her food before she has hugs.</span></span>

style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/Thanx.gif <span style="font-family:Comic Sans MS"><span style="color:#cc33cc">Lots of love and hugs style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/Thanx.gif </span></span>

<span style="font-family:Comic Sans MS"><span style="color:#cc33cc">Whizzy</span></span>

<span style="font-family:Comic Sans MS"><span style="color:#cc33cc">XOXOXOXXOXOXOXOXO</span></span>

raggedyann1
06-15-2006, 05:52 AM
Whizzy,

I am so sorry to hear that your battle with the head teacher is continuing. I agree that you should call the union to find out why you were left high and dry yesterday. Insist on their being there for the appointment with personnel. Can you re-schedule the meeting if the union rep doesn't show up? That is what I would do if they are a no show again.

I am glad that you have an upcoming appointment with a lupus clinic. Hoepfully the treatment plan they propose will have kicked in by September when you have your own classroom. I will have to say that I am always amazed at the teachers with lupus that I have met here. Having a bad principal (what we call the head teacher in the usa) only makes anyone lives worse.

Sending you double strength cyber hugs (((((((((((((((((((((( style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/hugbetter.gif )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Take care,
Karen

barefut
06-15-2006, 06:45 AM
Congratulations on your new additions.

May they bring you peace and joy.

Hang in there!

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Barefut style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/wub.gif