pregnancy

[babybaby]

I lost a baby last september in the first eight weeks of pregnancy, which was so upsetting.
However a few days ago I found out I was pregnant again, I have been to see G.P and am waiting an appointment with Rheum. Although tonight I am going out of my mind with worry, as it feels like i am losing this baby too. I have had slight spotting and am experiencing tummy cramps. I am planning to see G.P first thing in the mornining but as you can imange I can't sleep and am so frightened. I really don't think I can go through this again, I just can't face the consequences. Why. why.why. To make things even worse It's my partners Birthday tomorrow, so I thinking of going alone to G.P. How can I tell him that I've lost the baby that we are so desperete for on his birthday. We was so deverstated last time and he has tried to be so positive. I feel like it will crush him. I feel so alone, I'm trying to stay calm and positive but it feels the same as last time.

[Clare.T]

Welcome to the forum but I am very sorry about your earlier loss and your current anxiety.

Please tell your partner what you are going through because you shouldn't have to suffer alone and if he is any sort of decent person, good partner and prospective father, he has the right and the duty to know.
Otherwise there isn't honesty or frankness in the relationship.

Feeling alone is what you are choosing to do, so give him the chance to grieve with you and comfort each other

Of course it is a pity today is his birthday but that's the way it goes, that's life. The worst things always seem to happen at the worst time.


I assume you have lupus and I am wondering if any tests were done to indicate any reason for the miscarriage.

All the best

:hugbetter:

Clare

[peonyprincess]

Having been down this road several times, I can totally understand you anxieties about what is going on and the real fear of it happening again. While nothing I say can truly take away the fear that you are living with right now, please know that my thoughts and prayers are with you and yours. I personally would tell your partner what you are feeling and what is occuring to you right now. There is no reason that you should have to go this alone. This is your partner you are talking about and with that, partner means to do together. The more burdeon you attempt to take on yourself by yourself, the more stress your body will have to deal with and that could result in some unfavorable outcomes. Share your grief, concerns, fears with your partner and allow him to help shoulder the burdeon of pregnancy and everything that entails with you. There are so many men out there that feel so left out when their loved one is carrying a child. Allow him to help you thru the good times and the bad, do not go this alone. In the mean time, get plenty of rest, drink lots of fluids and try to focus on something positive. I know it is difficult, but try. Thinking about you and yours and hoping for the best.


Nancy

[Robin22821]

I too have been down the road of lupus miscarriages as well as lupus caused premature birth and know how scary and emotionally draining it is. Please know that you are in my thoughts and just keep thinking positively...we only get enough of what we can handle. That is the saying anyway, right?? Let us know how you are feeling and what you find out today.

[sarah norton]

try not to get too worried hunny, i know that sounds impossible but try to rest as much as u can as stress is a major cause of misscarrige, i lost 2 babies in the last 2 years and am possibly pregnant again now!, the best thing u can dop love is think possitive ok?, if u have msn come and have a chat if u want to my addy is pinkchick81@hotmail.co.uk, im always around so if u want a chat im here ok? just try to get as much rest as u can as this is the best thing to do x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

[babybaby]

In my last post towards the end of July, I was fearing the worst that I was having another miscarrage. As I suspected the pregnancy did end in miscarrage. It's taken sometime for me to feel strong enough to log on again and to look at that post. However I would like to thank all of you who replied and gave me support through that very upsetting time. Thankyou;)
At the time I was worried to tell my partner as we had been through this before and the day it happened was his birthday. However he took one look at me that morning and he knew, and as ever he was so loving, caring and supportive. We went straight to the hospital and was there for most of the day. The Doctors did not feel that the miscarrage was connected to Lupus, and as a previous sticky blood test was negative did not think that that was a reason either. I did try to keep explaining my fears about the connection with miscarrage and Lupus but as before was told "no it's just one of those things" I even had to explan what Lupus and Hughes syndrome was to the Midwife at the Early Pregnancy Clinic, which filled me with confidence, NOT. Eventually I was seen by the Doctor who confirmed that I was miscarring and that I was to go home and to return after the weekend to be re-scaned. When I did return I was seen only by one of the midwife team who as mentioned knew nothing about Lupus or Hughes. She told me it was one of those things!!! When again I voiced my opinion about my Lupus and the miscarrages she said she would speak to the Doctor. I got a call that afternoon to say that if in the future I become pregant again that I am to be seen and cared for by a specialist team. Which is good on the one hand I just wish that my fears were taken into consideration before this miscarrage.
My Rheumy agrees that I need to be monitered carefully if there is a next time. To be honest it's to early for me to say that I want to try again, I'm still very scared that it would happen again. As like last time my Lupus seems to calm down when pregnant but then gathers speed and becomes active again after a few months. So I am waiting to see on that one. However I am Still on low dose (10mg) of steriods but I am hoping to taper this down.
Anyway thanks again to all, what would I do without the support of this site
Hugs & Kisses babybaby(Natalie)xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxx

[bugsy]

Hiya Natalie

I am so sorry to hear that your fears came true with your last pregnancy. I can only imagine how you feel, i am unable to have children so i haven't been thru it myself.

I am so pleased to hear that you continued to tell the doctors, nurses and midwives about the lupus and your concern about the connections with miscarriage. I hope that they will remember what you told them and they can also help others in the future.

I am also happy to hear that your partner stood by you - at a time like that you both need each other.

Good luck :luck: with the future and what ever you both decide to do.

Take care :hug: Jo :hug:

[cath]

Hi Natalie,

I'd like to echo what Jo said,

Firstly that I'm really sorry you lost the seond baby too.

And that I'm glad at last you will be put under the care of the high risk specialists.

Where do you live? When you feel up to thinking about trying again (and take your time - only you can decide when the right time is), it would be a good idea to see the high risk obstetrician for a pre-conception appointment. Then you can talk about planning for next time - what drugs you need to take or stop, blood tests, special precautions etc.

In terms of reasons for the miscarriages, it is possible to have "sero-negative" APS, although this should only be diagnosed when absolutely everything else has been excluded. There are also a number of other clotting disorders like factor V leiden which can be checked for.
Active lupus can sometimes be the culprit too. You said in an earlier post you are/were struggling to reduce your pred dose. It might be worth simply staying on a safe dosage while you are trying to concieve, to keep the lupus quiet. It is quite safe to take in pregnancy, and safer than uncontrolled SLE.

Take care, and let us know how you are:)

X C X