Advice for loved ones? Please?

[daze]

Hi im new to this site, i am having a few problems and was wondering if i would find some help here!
My girlfriend was diagnosed with lupus a few months ago and despite my best efforts she pushes me away when I ask her about it. As a last resort I have come here in cognito cos I dont want her to feel like i'm nagging her. But the thing is i just want to know the basics so i can support her and try to understand what she needs me to do to make it easier for her to deal with. This may sound rather silly but i can't leave her alone if she doesn't tell me to can i? All I want to do is help and I feel like she just wants me not to care but that aint me and I knowits soppy but I love the lass and if there is anything i can do to make her life a bit easier i'll do it. So please help me out if you can before I go round the bend and our lass takes a knife to my bits for doin her head in too!!
Please get me out of this daze where I can't do anything for the girl I love due to my own ignorance!I feel so helpless!AAAAARRRRGGGGGHHHH!
Even if you think its silly any bit of info small or large is received greatfully and will help no end, tried books by the way and its not working I can't get it through my thick head!
Ta! Hope to get toknow some of you in the future and maybe I can introduce you to my girlfriend one day!8)

[gemma_leeds]

hi daze it was nice to read your story as joan said it is good to know that you care so much and want to know how best to help your gilfriend!
it does take time to settle in butyouwill get there in the end as im sure your girlfriend will too. It doesnt come as a surprise to me as it took me 2 weeks to tell my fella, for some reason i was scared, not a clue what of!I think she may just be getting all the new info sorted in her own mind before she wants to let someone else in!
if there are any questions just post on here and im sure one person at least will have the answer.
if your girlfriend would like to talk to someone with lupus to help her figure it all out i would gladly speak to her in private as im sure would a lot of the girls on here, some of them know far more than me and are better at explaining the ins and outs
i hope that helped love gemma xxx

[Joandublin]

Hi again Daze:)

It is very hard to give specific advice about how you can help when we dont know what your girlfriends main problems are:) . However, there is a pinned 'letter to family and friends' in the Family and Friends Forum which might be of some help. Here is a link to it:

http://www.thelupussite.com/forum/showthread.php?t=44204

I think that what you are doing, i.e. trying to educate yourself about this disease, is a very good place to start. Also try not to 'smother' her as she may still not have come to terms with having this disease yet and this, in itself, can take time. Take your lead from her. If she doesnt want to talk about it, dont push. Give her time. Its hard to get your head around being diagnosed with Lupus. Be patient with her. She may not know enough about this disease herself.

I wish you both well.

Luv n stuff
Joan:rose: