Holding back the tears

[ALWIN]

Hi all

I'm feeling very sorry for myself.

I can't get any relief from my pain killers and don't know how long it's going to go on and don't want it to last any longer.

I am fed up and cheesed off and so very tired and weary. I've comfort eaten cake so I feel queesy which was a bit thick.

I am dreading my GP visit tomorrow because whilst it's ok being brave on a pc, when I'm feeling like this I just cry if anybody is nice to me. I am the type to cry easy and dry easy when feeling fragile, but people who do not know me panic and think I'm depressed when I am just having a little cry. I don't do this when I am well.

Oh beggar. Well, you never know. It might go OK, but please, please let a pain killer that works materialise. All is well so long as the pain is sorted. I can't bear it.

Thanks for listening


Alwin.

[LoopyLoo]

((((((((((Alwin))))))))))

I am so sorry you feel like this honey. I'm sending you big positive vibes from Scotland to help you along :hugbetter:

I know hard this can be for you and I really hope it goes well with the GP. Just tell him exactly how it is, don't hold back.

Let me know how it goes,

Mega-huge-cyber-hugs :hug: :there: :hug: :there: :flower2: :flower2:

Pam xxx

[flutterbye]

Pain is absolutely no fun at all, so I hope that the GP can help with something.

I have found in the past that switching between two painkillers can help for me, they seem to start to be less effective somehow. Or perhaps stronger painkillers would help to get you through this.

I think it is important that you let the GP know just how bad things are, rather than being brave, if that means crying, well sometimes I have found that that gets the point across how bad things are. If you find it difficult expressing yourself, I know I do, it can sometimes be helpfull to have a short list, about what it is and examples of how it is affecting you can be effective as well as that gives a clear idea the pain, not sure if I got that out clearly (I mean rather than saying something like my wrist hurts, to say my wrist hurts to the extent that I can't turn on my washing machine.)

I wish you all the best for your appointment with GP, hope that things will start to better very soon.

[Lily]

((((((((((((((Alwin))))))))))))) :hugbetter:

Don't leave there without some decent pain relief. That much we are entitled to whilst they are trying to sort us out. It doesnt matter if you cry, this stuff is enough to bring anyone to tears. And if you arent the type to cry at the drop of a hat then it should make him realise just how bad this is. Thats what you need to get across.

Take our hugs and strength, we will be with you in spirit :luck:

love
Lily

[djunebug]

Aww, my heart goes out to you. Across the oceans and seas it is amazing how we can still touch each others lives. I am also a tenderspirit and when I hurt it hurts deeply. I am also a Registered Nurse and when I have a patient that bears her hurt and soul to me I am able to realize how serious the patient is. I know that I live in the US but also believe in compassion in the medical field. I am also a certified hospice and palliative care nurse. I pray it goes well with your Doctor.
Do take a little time to write down the things that you really want to discuss with your GP. Remember that there are different types of pain and someone good in pain management will assess it thoroughly. Write some words down to describe your pain and location. For example, is it sharp, burning, or deep and achy, Is it worse in the morning or night. Be specific as possible.
I have always believed that the eyes are the window to the soul, and if that is true then the tears must be the window cleaner to see through more clearly. You are in my thoughts

DJunebug:) :) :) :)

[jude mack]

(((Alwin))) I really feel for you, I can feel your pain and anguish just by reading your post. I hope your GP app. goes well and you are given something to help your pain. And if tears help, go for it, nothing wrong with tears. I'll be thinking of you.

Big Hugs Jude:hug:

[belladonna]

I am dreading my GP visit tomorrow because whilst it's ok being brave on a pc, when I'm feeling like this I just cry if anybody is nice to me.


I've reacted that way too sometimes. :tears: It always makes me feel like I should apologize for being teary.

I've cried at my GP visits 2 or 3 times now. Each time it proded her into action. My doc knows that if I cry, I'm not coping well because of something, and she should take special notice, and a little extra time to try find out what the problem is, and how she can help.
It's not a bad thing that your doctor should know exactly how you feel.

[helloos]

Good luck with your appointment.

I think that crying is ok and it may show them that you are in real pain seeing that.

I agree not to leave their without a plan of how you are going to control your pain.

I have been there and the pain was so bad that you almost feel crazy. Heat usually helps my leg pain, especially the thighs.

Just be very honest there and tell them how you do not have quality of life right now and need to get the pain under control.

Good luck and hope that something is done for you today.

[Clare.T]

(((( Alwin )))))
I wonder how many of us have gone into doc's and when asked how we are smiled brightly and said Not too bad.
We spend so much time getting on with and coping with ( necessary denial ) that it's very hard to switch over to the frank admission of feeling like death warmed up and in unbearable misery and pain.

If we can't acknowledge that we need help, we are most unlikely to get it.

I've heard many tales of people losing it at the doctor's and finally being listened to. Is this the worst thing that can happen in life. Of course it's hard to pull yourself together afterwards and assume your normal facade.

I hope your doctor will take pain relief very seriously - you seem to think you have a concerned and caring GP.

In a horrible way, getting to this point could be just what you need to get taken seriously and give you the drive to get on with making appointments and getting to the bottom of your health problems.

A person can only battle on so long. Be kind and forgiving to yourself ((( Alwin )))

Please let us know how it went

Many caring hugs

Clare

[LolaLola]

Dear Alwin,

Pain isolates us and breaks us down. No wonder you feel low. I hope you get through the appt. productively.
X Lola

[guinivere67]

hope you feel better soon.

[livingonaprayer]

Alwin,

I can't say more than these other wonderful people have said, but wanted you to know that I do too care!

((((((((((Alwin)))))))))))) BIG cyber hugs to you!

I did the same thing yesterday at my rheumies office, broke down crying... IT IS OK!!

We can't be strong and brave everyday. Sometimes a good cry makes a big difference! Be good to yourself and good luck with your appointment!

Always,
Dee

[ALWIN]

Thanks for advice and concern.

I should have been at doctors yesterday ... wrote it down on wrong page of diary would you believe? So fed up with self. Stupid.

Receptionist was lovely, which was good of her, but have to wait 'till next Mon now cos all booked up.

She's getting GP to prescribe something so I can pick it up from dispensary on Fri morning. Eating left over old stock of brufen and cocodamol meanwhile. Not terribly effective so far, but perhaps it's better than it was. I'm past caring.

Going to bed with hot water bottle now (thanks helloos - forgot about warming the bits up - too busy pottering to distract myself - blooming exhausted now).

Need a good funny bedtime book. All suggestions welcome. Nothing about illness or sadness, please.

Will make do with TV in bed meanwhile.

Hope everybody else is feeling ok.

Alwin

[carclinty1]

Sorry you feel so bad. Just go to your GP and cry. Sometimes you just have too. It will help to get it out. Hopefully the GP can find a drug that reduces your pain. Good Heart
:sad:

[hopie]

I'm sorry you are feeling so poorly. I do understand. I've been on Plaquenil for almost 8 weeks now, and the last few days, I've been in so much pain. All you can do it seems like is cry. I wanted results immedieately, but I know it doesn't work that way. I do hope you feel better soon... Hugs to you.

Hopie

[confused1]

(((((((Alwin)))))))))

Be gentle with yourself. If you cry, so be it. Doctors should be used to bodily fluids. :)

Pain is terrible. Unremitting pain can make a soul weary and weak. It steals our lives and breaks the hearts of those who love us.

Don't give up. Demand something that gives relief. I don't know what you've taken so far, and I don't kknow what hurts. If you have nerve pain, insist that you be given an anti-seizure med in the Gabapenten family. If you haven't been given narcotic pain killers, insist that be done immediately. You won't become an addict. I promise.

If you need to vent to someone who knows all too much about pain that refuses to be treated away, send me an email. I will be glad to listen. It's a mean sisterhood, and yet there is strength in the sharing.

Hugs and prayers,
Sunny

[rwb200]

Hello Alwin
So sorry to hear that you are not feeling well.
With all that you have going on it has to make it even worse.

Hope you get to feeling better soon.

[Pollyanna]

Dear Alwin,

So sorry for you; can hear your pain through your words, you poor dear. It is so easy to await the doc's arrival and when he/she comes in and says "how are you?" we say "FINE" - Augh!

Hoping you get through the weekend with warm heat and a good book to cheer you up. Can't think of a title right off the bat - figures - but my son and I used to giggle silly over Calvin and Hobbes. He has several collections of the cartoon. I wish I could send it to you through the interweb or whatever it's called.

Pamper yourself and I hope all goes well on Monday. I'll be thinking of you as I see my neurosurgeon on Monday to discuss back surgery. I really do understand your unrelenting pain. ((((((((Alwin)))))))

Love, Pollyanna :love:

[Sleaps2much]

Posting late - been offline but still wanted to give you a cyber hug from me ((((((((((((((((((Alwin))))))))))))))))

Take care of you

Sleaps

[Grerimar]

Oh Alwin...HUGE ((((((((((HUGGGSSSS)))))))))))) from the sunshine State.
How much YOU made me smile in a reply to one of my darkest post, when I couldn't go see my kids perform at an event...what can I say to make you smile?...
"Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?...cause it didn't have any gutts!..."

There, did that help?... :)

I hope so,

Geri Silly Fortune