The other Rheumatologist

[sadieone]

Some how I ended up getting scheduled to see another rheumy instead of my usual rheumy. There are 4 in the office. On my first visit with this other rheumy he seemed attentative and gave me an increase in my celebrex for my joint complaints.
On my second visit with this other rheumy he was pretty dismissive when i asked him to sign a motor vehicle form for a handicap parking card.

He insisted that with fibro they(the docs) want us to exercise more so it would be recommended for me to park farther rather than closer. Upon trying to explain the reason I wanted this card he just dismissed it and told me good luck on my next blood test.
I felt so deflated. Like i didn't matter,, what i thought didn't matter.
He's fired!! never again will i pay him to see me.

I never got the chance to explain that with my two slipped disks in my lower back(which is in my file), it is difficult to "move" when my fibro is flaring, never mind exercise. A handicapped parking card will allow me to park closer when i'm flaring,, encouraging to me get out more when i'm flaring,, rather than stay home like i do now. The fibro and slipped disks are permanent illnesses yet i would use the card occasionally ((when i'm flaring))

Does this make sense to only me???

No matter,, he wasn't trying to hear any of it, i never even got the words out and now its 3;30 am the next morning and i haven't had a wink of sleep because of how that made me feel.:(

On top of all that he wrote on my file which ended up on my receipt that i am to see my original rheumy 'only'. :(

Am I wrong?????
Thanks for listening

[Joandublin]

(((((((Vonda)))))

Im really sorry you came across this ignoramus. I had been contemplating trying to apply for a disability parking pass as well but I am reluctant in case I come across attitudes like you have :sad:

Why do I want this pass? Pretty much for the same reasons as you. If I had this pass I could park almost directly outside my job and not have to scurry around finding parking (which is always a good distance from work) and then arrive in work like an absolute wreck feeling like I have just finished my day:sad:
If I had this pass I could go to a particular shopping centre that is close by which has disabled parking near the front door rather than half way across the vast car park, meaning having to lug the shopping over to the car, fill it up and bring the trolley back to the shop door. By the time I am finished my weekly shopping I am ALWAYS wrecked.

Everytime I go out I have to think about parking. About whether I can get parking relatively near where I want to be. If Im not sure, I will usually just forget about it and not go out unless its absolutely necessary.

What is it about some people? Having a disability parking disc is not something any of us ever thought we would be applying for. Its a very big deal. Its sort of admitting something which, in my opinion, is hard to do. And then we have to put up with an attitude that makes us feel like we are 'scamming' the system. Im no scammer and you arent one either Vonda.

I would suggest that you take a very deep breath and put this incident somewhere to the back of your mind. Write to your current rheumy and ask him to complete the form. Put your case to him in writing so you can be sure he has everything in front of him and you're not relying on whether he is too busy to listen or has a bad attitude about these things or whatever.

As far as Im concerned, anyone with Lupus has had enough taken away from them as it is. Anything that can help make life a bit easier is to be welcomed and pursued. Keep trying Vonda and your post has spurred me on to go and make that application from this end.....

If I get refused I will appeal :)

Loads of love
Joan:rose:

[Zoi]

The "other rheumy" sounds horrible....:mad: Dismissive rheumys like him should be forced to live with the patient's symptoms for a day or two :mad:.
Maybe then they'd be more understanding....

You're right in deciding not to go to him again... Can you not book an appointment with your usual rheumy? Maybe he could help you with the parking card...

Rest assured that what you're saying about slipped disks and fibro makes perfect sense!

Please don't let people like him upset you so much... :blush:

Zoi

[sadieone]

Thanks Joan,

I didn't think i was crazy. My original rheumy did one better,, he told me the same thing the other rheumy did and sent the form in with 'arthritis' as the excuse for needing the card. Made me look like a fool.

I have an appt with my primary care physician and i'm going to ask his opinion on the matter. If i approach it that way i may get a better response.

Please do submit that application Joan,, if enough of us were to apply maybe some of us will get out point across.

Thanks for our reply

[CreamTea]

Oh Sadie - what a nightmare! I find it really shocking that a rheumatologist could have such an attitude.

I was about to write a long reply about how I too am considering applying for a card like you - for exactly the same reasons - but read Joan's post and that really says it all perfectly.

One suggestion - do you see an Occupational Therapist at all - are they able to sign the forms?? They have much more of an idea about how illness affects function. Some doctors do seem to think that if you're sat in front of them that must mean you're fit for climbing Everest after a quick coffee.:blink: :sigh: :wacko:

[Raglet]

best way i know of getting a disabled parking permit is to have your doctor nearly run you over. I kid you not, that is what happened to me. As I move very slowly, everyone misjudges my speed, making it very dangerous for me in carparks. One day my doctor nearly ran me over - well the next time I saw him he said you've got to get a permit! It was a scream.

sorry you met such an idiot - i can actually walk for miles but speed (or lack of it) just makes it very dangerous - we are all very different in our needs and should be judged on our own merits. I am sorry that you weren't.

Hopefully your regular rheumie will see it differently

cheers

raglet

[Maia]

I agree with Zoi on the doctors needing to live with our symptoms to truly understand... but I've always said it needs to be for a month or two because a day or two isn't nearly enough!

Only rarely do I feel like I need a handicapped placard, although I have thought about asking for one during those times, I haven't done it yet. I'm ever hopeful I guess. It's also hard to admit to yourself, much less anyone else, that there are times where you need it.

Unfortunately, as with everything else, there have probably been a few bad apples that asked for it when they didn't need it and made doctors/officials leery of almost everyone asking for it.

[goats]

my gp issued mine, I have raynauds and in the winter it is hard to walk in the snow and cold. plus lupus and fm
I only use it when I need to, when I feel I need the exercise I park further away. but on some days just walking from the carpark is enough to tire me for the day and then forget getting grocery.

I would demiss the thoughts of the rhemuy and try another doctor that can understand.

all doctors that treat patients should have the ailments for a month. then let them treat us and see how they would feel. as each of us is different, let them have a different day each day

none of us want to have our aliments and it is not in our heads. don't let anyone tell you that. I spend to many years believing that and went without treatment, now if a nurse of doctor say anything that sounds llike that. bye bye ,on to the next. life is to short to have the medical profession treats us like that and we dont' deserve that. (nor does anyone)
they are to help us not judge us

and if they really believed it was in our heads why don't they treat our heads :rotfl: then that would cure all

[neongirl]

Idiot Dr.. He could have at least read your chart or let you explain why you needed it. Encounters like this can leave one emotionally raw where Drs. are concerned for quite some time, I'm with the others, I wish he had to live in your body and experience what you do for a while:mad: Sorry you had such a miserable appt.. Good for you in refusing to see him anymore!

[ALWIN]

I'm sorry too, Sadie.

I'm lost for words. I hope you get a better response with the next person

Alwin

[sandygirlj]

Sadie im so sorry about that rheumy. It makes me ill how they treat people, that exactly why i stoped working as a licensed practical nurse 15 years ago i hated the way some dr treated people,:sad: I pray you get your permit and joan too.I know its hard not to let dr friends and family get to us, in the long run we suffer more because of there rudness,and hurtfull commints. but i believe there day is coming:eek: PLease hang in there you have a lot of caring people here:) sandy

[shelly21]

hey!! he is just horrible! i dont get him! surely he knew when he trained as a rheumy that one of the aspects of the job is to show some sympathy... clearly not!
i applied for a disabled badge pretty early on in my illness, although my rheumy was the one who initially wrote a letter, they then wrote a letter to my GP asking him what he thought. i htink it was my GP who convinced them, because the rheumy's letter was pretty standard-u would think it would be the other way around.
Joan, i think it depends on your particular council as to how easy it is to get a permit! the one i live in has been criticized for not showing enough sympathy and care for the disabled, and therefore they were very happy to issue me one, me being young and all!!

good luck, hope you all get what you need

Shelly
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