23y.o SLE patient, 23weeks pregnant. Found out Today. | Lupus Forums at The Lupus Site
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23y.o SLE patient, 23weeks pregnant. Found out Today.

Discussion in 'Living with lupus' started by Someone else, Sep 26, 2019.

  1. Someone else

    Someone else New Member

    So I went for an abdominal ultrasound this morning, the technician had the wand on my stomach for less then 3 seconds when she smiles and casually says, "the baby looks healthy!" This statement caught me way off guard. I have been told I was unable to have children since before I was 12 due to poly cystic ovarian disorder and another undiagnosed hormonal disorder. I haven't had a regular menstrual cycle since before I was 18 or even a single period in a little over 2 years now. So for these reasons and a few others the chances of me ever getting pregnant at all were slim to none, let alone bringing a feotus to full term without complication. I am literally on the verge of losing my house thanks to a loser ex I've spent the last year trying to remove from my own house that I pay for that he continued to squat in rent free for 6 months after I left him and tried to find other safe places to stay. I slept in my car for like 4 nights a week from January to June in Alberta, Canada while he slept comfortably in my house. Within a week of moving back in I found out he racked up more then $5000 in bills and utilities in my name and was 2 months behind on the rent. That's not to mention the property damage he did. I have been fighting off eviction notices every month since I moved home. Now I find out that I'm 22 weeks and 6 days pregnant with what appears to be a healthy male feotus, Due January 23rd 2020. This next statement may be troubling to some, so I apologize in advance and must emphasize that I'm not trying to cause a politicalor religious debate. I am just trying to determine the best course of action for my circumstances or at least get some advice. There's really no one else I can even begin to discuss this with yet as I do not wish to go public until I've actually had a chance to discuss everything with my doctor and have made a decision. However legally speaking my window for actually being able to take part in the choices that follow is very small, a week and 1 day before I legally run out of time to choose. On top of that my General Practioner is away for the next week. I'm also on high doses of an opiate pain medication which I wouldnt have time to properly taper off of before the baby is due. I'm absolutely terrified. I'm broke, about to lose my home and pregnant with what will most likely be a once in a life time miracle. 6 months ago I wasn't even sure I would be able to freeze any of my eggs for the future. This may be my only chance to have a child of my own DNA, but what kind of life would i be able to give a child right now, I can barely take care of myself let alone an infant. I'm on the verge or losing everything. Normally if it weren't for who the father of the baby is, I would be pretty confident in my decision. But with my housing/financial situation the way it is plus my love of the other party involved and the limited time to chose I am at a complete loss as to what I can do to salvage any part of my current situation. Any and all advice or input is more then welcome, or even just someone I can discuss things freely with, without judgement, I would be eternally grateful for.

    Sincerely wishing I was someone else right now...
  2. Kiewi5

    Kiewi5 Member

    I’m so sorry you are dealing with so much. I can’t imagine the stress you are feeling and how big of a shock this must be for you. If you want to message directly, I’d be happy to! I noticed your message was posted last night; how are you feeling now?
  3. Someone else

    Someone else New Member

    Still kind of reeling from the whole situation, I'd love to chat directly whenever you have some time. I'm completely clueless right now.
  4. MissDaisy 1

    MissDaisy 1 Member

    The short answer is to consult a therapist. An objective listener will help you sort through the issues.

    I don't know what Canadian support services are available but in the USA pregnant women do qualify for Women Infants and Children (WIC) and welfare. Again, a therapist would be helpful.

    The father of the child is responsible for child support in most locations. I bet Canada has similar laws as the US concerning father's rights and responsibilities for supporting a child.

    Just some random thoughts.
    Smile Of Life likes this.

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