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advice help plz

Discussion in 'Relationships & Lupus' started by UTH, Apr 5, 2016.

  1. UTH

    UTH New Member

    HI All,

    I just found this forum and I'm glad I did. I've been in two relationship since I've been diagnosed. One ended the same year I was diagnosed (2014). The other starred in September (2015). A year later full yr later.

    I was upfront with him about having lupus. We've been dating for 6 almost 7 months. It was hard to date again. I don't take my frustration's out on him. I'm very verbal about when I'm not feeling good.

    Lately he's been saying I'm emotional and blaming it on the lupus. But the problem is his nonconsistent behavior. The lack calling, the lack of availability, just overall unacceptable behavior. Instead of saying dang this is why she's mad because of my actions it's the lupus. This hurts that is why my last relationship ended. No accountability. Because I have lupus it's the faught of that. It makes me feel bad and the reason why I don't want to date. Plz help. Any advice
  2. lazylegs

    lazylegs Moderator

    When we are diagnosed we don't realize how much our friends and family are also going to be affected. Even if we don't complain loudly an observant person can see us struggling to complete our tasks and they feel helpless. Then there is the disappointment if we have to cut an outing short or cancel all together. It all begins to add up and the inconsistent behavior is just a sign they are unhappy. Keeping the lines of communication going is a big help. The site is beneficial also. It saves our loved ones from having to hear us vent, moan or whatever. There are some people however that are not cut out to deal with living with someone with a chronic disease. It may sound simple in the beginning but it does add stress to a relationship. There are some good ones out there unfortunately they do not have signs on their foreheads. You don't have to stop dating, just date for fun instead of a commitment and you may find the right person in the end.

    Take care,
    Choosingme likes this.

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