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Amusing Doctor Song

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by applesauce, Jan 12, 2008.

  1. applesauce

    applesauce The vortex of insanity!

    I can't find it on youtube, it's called "Don't do it" by Little Charlie and the Nightcats, lyrics crack me up:

    Well I was under the weather and I wasn't getting better
    So I went to get a physical check
    And when I went to the doc, it was a heck of a shock
    He said "boy you are a miserable wreck"
    He said "your liver's all swollen and your stomach's got a hole in it
    From drinking too much for too long
    And there's a good indication of some bad circulation
    'Cause your blood pressure's almost gone!
    And you got no reflexes in your solerplexis
    When I tap you on the top of your knee."
    He said, "your pulse ain't steady
    And your lungs gettin' ready
    To collapse every time that you breathe
    And at the rate you're goin' all the tests are showin that
    Boy, you'll never live to get old
    But I came up with a plan to make you healthy again
    And son, you better do what you're told"

    And then he told me
    "If you dig it, don't do it
    And if you like it better leave it alone
    And if it's too much fun, that oughta cue you son
    You've prob'ly done somethin' thats wrong
    And I'm surprised at you and all the things you do, boy
    'Cause that ain't what your body is for"
    And if you think it's bad so far wait till after this guitar
    'Cause the doctor said a whole lot more!
    [Guitar solo]

    He told me "Cut out your booze and quit them drugs you been usin'
    And don't be smokin no cigarettes
    And you know lovin' a stranger, nowadays boy, man
    It's just like playin' russian roulette.
    And get that grease out your diet, better boil it don't fry it
    And don't you eat no more barbeque.
    I wouldn't tell you no lie, take this rule and apply
    Now, son, listen to what you better do."

    That's when he told me
    "If you dig it, don't do it
    And if you like it, better leave it alone
    And if it's too much fun, that oughta cue you son
    That you've prob'ly done somethin' thats wrong.
    And if it's too good to ya, well don't let it fool ya
    You're playin' in the danger zone"
    And I kept waitin' and waitin' for the man to finish
    But the sucker just went on and onnnn

    And then he told me "Cut out all sweets and don't be crampin' your feet
    In them pointy toed Italian shoes"
    And he said, "Boy, lookie here, you gonna damage your ears
    Playin' that loud rockin rhythm and blues
    And if a rabbit don't eat it, buddy, you don't need it
    That's the rule on your new menu
    You better get you a pen, I ain't gonna say it again,
    'Cause there's a whole lot more that you need to do!
    You need to lose some weight, you need to stand up straight,
    Boy, your posture is a terrible disgrace
    You need to suck in your gut, you need to tuck in your butt,
    You need to clear them zits up off of your face."

    And then he told me
    "If you dig it, don't do it
    And if you like it, better leave it alone
    And if it's too much fun, that oughta cue you, son
    You prolly done somethin that's wrong
    And if it's too good to ya don't let it fool ya
    You're playin in the danger zone"
    And I kept waitin and waitin for the man to finish
    But the sucker just went onnnn and onnnn and onnnn and onnn
     
  2. greenhaggis

    greenhaggis Registered

    Brilliant applesauce!
     
  3. Katharine

    Katharine Registered

    Excellent, good laugh that :hehe:
     
  4. karen.w.

    karen.w. Registered

    :lol: wow that's fab applesauce!
    karen x
     
  5. acard

    acard Registered

    That was fabulous-Thanks!!!!



    Hugs,
    Becca
     

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