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Best ways to look after yourself.

Discussion in 'Living with lupus' started by mishmash, Aug 10, 2016.

  1. mishmash

    mishmash Registered

    HI all. Going through some really stressful things at home at the moment.

    My husband is being investigated for a rare autoimmune disease and my mother in law is in critical care unresponsive after a cardiac arrest a few days ago.

    My main priorities are looking after my husband and his family, I'm just worried that if I get ill I'm not going to be able to do this properly.

    I'm having to do all the driving as my husband can't, And I have to go into work as I don't get paid time off.

    We are grabbing food on the run as I go from work, to my husband hospital appointments, to kings in London for mother in law.

    Any advice on trying to protect yourself in these stressful situations? My husband keeps telling me to get some pred mainly as a preventative but I don't like taking it even when I'm not good at all.

    I think to be honest I'm running on adrenalin and when things settle i'm in for a flare. I can feel it lurking around the corner. I'm sleeping as soon as I get in but no other rest time really. Just wondered if any ideas out there.

    Thanks for any advice and support as always. Xx


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  2. debatat

    debatat Moderator

    My advice would be to get as much rest as possible, I know it is hard in these situations. Try to find time to switch off if you can as well, play your favourite music in the car while driving to relax you etc, sometimes its the little things that keep us going. Accept any offers of help and ask if you need to. Let things go that don't need doing.

    Be honest with your doctor, you may need the pred.

    I wish you well, I hope things improve soon.
     
    mishmash likes this.
  3. lazylegs

    lazylegs Moderator

    Deb gave you some good suggestions.

    Having recently gone through something similar I found paying attention to one issue at a time helped. Letting my mind flit from one problem to the next was overwhelming. Concentrating on the issue at hand kept my brain clearer. Also prioritize. Unless you find it helpful to do something as mundane as housework let it go. It will still be there for you later.

    Picking up things to eat as you go from one place to the next is a time and energy saver for you. Don't feel guilty about it. Hopefully your circumstances will change soon and you can return to a healthier diet. In the meantime at least attempt to make the healthier option. When I didn't I let myself enjoy the rare pleasure.

    Instead of being connected to the world I left my laptop home when I went to the hospital. I took a good book to help take my mind off the problems even if just for a few minutes. It also helped to go through a relaxation routine. It can be like taking a nap in just a few minutes. Easy stretches will help too. They can give you a quick energy pickup.

    My thoughts will be with you.

    Take care,
    Lazylegs
     
    wolf1 and mishmash like this.
  4. mishmash

    mishmash Registered

    Thank you both for some sound advice.

    I have charged my kindle and loaded a book, as you say 15 minutes in a fantasy world at the moment would do me the world of good

    Just taking each day as it comes.

    Xx





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  5. susane

    susane Registered

    The advice from others is good. I have also been going through a tough time. My dad passed away August 1, 2016, and we buried him August 4th. I am taking it one day at a time, and so me days are tough for sure.
    Me and my husband went to the clinic and was both diagnosed with strep yesterday, and are trying to rest now.
     
  6. lazylegs

    lazylegs Moderator

    Susane,

    My thoughts are with you during this trying time. The loss of your dad is enough on its own but to add strep to it has to take a toll on your body.

    Take care,
    Lazylegs
     
  7. susane

    susane Registered

    Thank you lazylegs.
     
  8. mishmash

    mishmash Registered

    Well as predicted my crash has come

    My mother in law sadly passed away just over a week ago, things have come to ahead with my husband illness. So now time for me to fall apart.

    On a Positive note have routine apt with rheumy on 8/9/16 so not too long to ride it out before getting some help.

    Just so Much harsher when I crash as am not on any disease modifying drugs.

    Oh well sorry for rant just struggling today.

    wishing you all well xx


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  9. Jessica1

    Jessica1 Moderator

    Sending you some virtual hugs, mishmash. Sorry to read your sad news...don't apologise for ranting (although I wouldn't call that a rant!), we're here to support each other.

    I hope the days go by quickly for you until the 8th.
    Take care,
     
    mishmash likes this.
  10. keebler

    keebler Moderator

    Hugs mishmash.:grouphug: Im sorry for the loss of your mother-in-law.
    Please take care of yourself and your husband.
     
    mishmash likes this.
  11. debatat

    debatat Moderator

    Sorry to hear this mishmash, I hope you can get some rest and that the time till your appt flies by.
     
    mishmash likes this.
  12. mishmash

    mishmash Registered

    I'm sorry to hear of your sad news too.
    It's not easy feeling sad and trying to look after yourself too. Sending you hugs and a hope you and your husband feel better soon x


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  13. mishmash

    mishmash Registered

    Thank you all for your well wishes. This is such a great place to get some support. Thanks xxx


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  14. lazylegs

    lazylegs Moderator

    My condolences for your loss. It is never easy when a loved one passes. The memories will always be with you though.

    Take care,
    Lazylegs
     
    mishmash likes this.
  15. Jackie Jubilee

    Jackie Jubilee New Member

    Im so sorry for your loss! Just wanted you to know I am praying for ya, your mother in law and your husband.
     
    mishmash likes this.
  16. wolf1

    wolf1 Registered

    So so sorry to hear about your mother in law. Please look after yourself. I hope you and your husband will be feeling better soon.
    Bless you
    Wolf1
     
    mishmash likes this.
  17. wolf1

    wolf1 Registered

    Sorry to hear of the loss of your father. I lost mine 17 years ago but he's never far away from my thoughts. Time is a healer, and as time goes on you start to smile at the memories and time you had together.
    Please take care.
    Those we love don't go away, thay walk beside us every day.
    Bless you and your family.
    Wolf1
     
  18. susane

    susane Registered

    Thank you for your kind words.
     
    wolf1 likes this.

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