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First Christmas without Mom

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by melissar, Dec 10, 2009.

  1. melissar

    melissar Guest

    I sometimes miss her so much I can hardly breathe and cried the whole time I was putting up my tree. She loved Christmas and everything that went with it, the lights, the presents, the family. After her first stroke, I think she was very child like in a lot of ways. But we always had fun doing stuff for Christmas. Making little things for her nurses and her friends. Last year she was so proud, she wrote out her own Christmas cards and addressed them all.

    Her love is all around my house with all of her handmade stuff on the walls and on the tree. She would have loved to see it all.
  2. x_claire_x

    x_claire_x Moderator

    Her love around your house is her legacy, she obviously was a very special lady to have so much love around her..... she is still with you in so many ways. Just keep plodding your way through Christmas and keep her in your heart. Take care XXX
  3. pennylp

    pennylp Registered

    Hi Malissar,

    I am so sorry you are having a hard time this year.... I do know how you feel... My mom died years ago... But it was on November twenty fifth.. One month before Christmas... I too did not know how I would get through the season, but I had kids and had to make it great for them... But what I did do, I put some of my mothers decoration around my house... so when I looked at them I felt like she was with me... My mom died sixteen years ago and I still put her decorations out...I feel she is with me... I hope this helps you... You are blessed to have so many wonderful memories...

    Love Penny
  4. MountainbikeLynne

    MountainbikeLynne Registered

    Hi Malissar

    You've brought a tear to my eyes. I lost my Dad last year, and so can empathise with what you are going through.
    I'm a very practical person, so my way of coping was to do something completely different, and so I had lots of family to my house, including my Mum, who has Alzheimer's. Being so busy kept me distracted, and my Mum was also well looked after by other family members and I think she had a whale of a time.

    I hope you manage to find a way to help you through - the decorations is a really good idea. Remember those good times, and that your Mum wouldn't want you to be sad.

    Take care

  5. debatat

    debatat Moderator

    Sending you gentle cyber ((( hugs )))

  6. granny weatherwax

    granny weatherwax Registered

    Hey Mellisar

    Sending you lots of hugs. I think your mum would love that you are keeping her in your heart at this special time..... it is great that you have such wonderful memories too...

    Love Claire xxx
  7. Lily

    Lily Registered

    ((((((Melissar)))))) This time of year is very hard for many of us, I lost my husband 3 years ago now, 5 days before Christmas. Like your Mum he absolutely loved Christmas, made it such a special time for all of us :) It was hard putting up the tree and decorating, my heart just wasn't in it. But now it's done, I am starting to remember all those Christmases past which were so special with all of us together. The sad feelings creep in, but as the years go by Melissar it becomes a little easier and the happy memories start to take over that empty space in your heart.

    From my family to yours, I wish you peace and contentment this Christmas. Your Mum sounds like she was a very special lady :love:

  8. keebler

    keebler Moderator


    It is hard when this time of year comes around.
    Your mom sounded like a very special lady. She raised you well. You both love Christmas and it is special that you have put up your mother's decorations. I think our love ones that we miss would want us to be happy and not sad about missing them. We saw a movie not to long ago that really helped us realize that. (sorry cant remember the name of it)

    It is hard for me too. My daughter Candice passed away Nov.18,2008. Her birthday will be next week. (17) I am told that ache in your heart will get better as time goes by. Although at the moment it still feels like a bad dream that I cant seem to wake up from.

    Have a Merry Christmas, Melisar.

    Love & hugs,
  9. Katharine

    Katharine Registered


    It is a very hard time of year for all those who have lost loved ones. Everything always seems so more intense at Christmas time and I think that's true for people who, for whatever reason, find themselves not in the best of spirits.

    This will be our second Christmas without Dad who passed away 30 November last year. It was hard last year but I think that being with the family and the kids and making sure that Christmas was special was of great comfort to my Mum and all of us.

    My memories of Christmas to do with Dad include having to clear up the most unbelievable mess in the kitchen when he had finished doing Christmas dinner. It was so bad we had to put the pots, pans and dishes on the floor just to find the space to start :rotfl:

    He was also a great fan of tradition and one of his traditions was James Last and his music was always part of Christmas day.

    All nice things to remember and as Lily says, with time the nice things take a more important place and we can feel so happy to have known that person, even if not for long enough.

  10. donna kosk

    donna kosk Registered

    hi melissar
    your mum is at your side everday second of the day she was with you when you did your tree and she will of been smiling (((((((hug))))))) for you.

    this ((((((((((((((((hug))))))))))))))) is for everyone who will be missing some1 close this christmas.

    take care all
  11. melissar

    melissar Guest

    Thank you all so much for your thoughts and your support. It means so much to me and helps more then I can ever say.

    I will be thinking of you all through the season and hoping that your holidays are full of love, family and happiness.
  12. Jennannshear

    Jennannshear Registered

    I really am wishing and sending you comfort and peace. I am sure she is with you and loves what you have done.. This time of year brings up so many emotions for so many but to have your first Christmas with out your mom, breaks my heart and I am sending cyber hugs to you as well (((((((:)sad:)))))))
  13. countrylass

    countrylass Registered

    Sending you warm hugs thoughts of heart felt healing.we lost our aunt my godmother this sept so been hard this xmas.

    lv countrylass
  14. KarolH

    KarolH Registered


    I hear your words and feel your emotions the same way and understand what your going through. Today is one month since I buried my mom and I have not been the same since.

    I too was a emotional mess putting up the Christmas tree and stuff as it was also my mom's favorite holiday yet I am happy I did as she is with me everyday as your mom is too.

    I hope you have a blessed holiday filled with family, friends, joy, comfort, relaxing moments, good health and the Lord to see you through it all.

    Take good care of yourself. Sure hope Santa treats you well.:wink2:

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