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Gotta love this doc!

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Joandublin, Jan 17, 2008.

  1. Joandublin

    Joandublin Registered

    I got this in my email this morning. Just love it! :lol:

    Question and Answer session with a doctor

    Q:I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is
    this true?
    A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.

    Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
    A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and
    corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.

    Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
    A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain.
    Bottoms up!

    Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
    A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one.
    If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

    Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
    A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good!

    Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
    A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!! .... Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

    Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
    A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You
    should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

    Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
    A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around!

    Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
    A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

    Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
    A: Hey! 'R ound' is a shape!

    Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may
    have had
    about food and diets.
    And remember:
    "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of
    arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body,
    but rather
    to skid in sideways
    - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly
    used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO, What a Ride"

    Luv n stuff

  2. Clare.T

    Clare.T Registered

    Hilarious Joan ! I hope when the time comes I will go with a laugh in my heart and a smile on my lips
    Thank you

  3. Katharine

    Katharine Registered

    Very good that! It makes you feel a whole lot better about enjoying life :rotfl:
  4. julsie

    julsie Registered

    Ha!ha!I really needed that!sounds like my kind of doc!:rotfl:
  5. sushi

    sushi Registered

    too good to be true, man, i wish it was all true.
    we would all be skinny. and very healthy indeed.
    but it was very funny.:rotfl: :rotfl:
  6. karen.w.

    karen.w. Registered

    :lol: :rotfl: thanks joan,that's hilarious!!!!I especially like the end bit!

    joan........can I ask permission to copy/paste this please? to send to my friends via email?hope that's ok?

    take care...karen x
  7. sadieone

    sadieone Registered

    I had to send this to my husband, this is right up his alley.

    He would love it lol lol lol
  8. LoopyLoo

    LoopyLoo Registered

    Loved it! :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:
  9. raggedyann1

    raggedyann1 Registered


    That is hysterical. I laughed so hard. Thank you I needed a good laugh today.

  10. acard

    acard Registered

    :rotfl: Joan,
    Thank You soooo much and by the way-I am the whale-so if you need proof of swimming as the exercise here I am:rotfl:

  11. Joandublin

    Joandublin Registered

    Glad you all like it:)

    Karen - copy it as much as you like. I received it from a friend. There are no copyright issues. Just someone with a good sense of humour putting it together somewhere I guess.

    I particularly love the one about explaining swimming..:lol:

  12. karen.w.

    karen.w. Registered

    Thank you joan :) I will go & spread some happiness now :hehe:

    I love to receive mails that make you laugh,unfortunately most of the ones I receive aren't suitable for posting here :eek: :hehe: must be the company I keep :lol:

    luv karen x
  13. ALWIN

    ALWIN Guest

    :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

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