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Discussion Starter #1
Hello

I need your help. I posted the other week as I was feeling really ill and pathetic. Am still pretty ill, but not feeling quite so pathetic, which is obviously a good thing.

I have an appointment with my dermatologist at the end of this month. This will be my second appointment and to be honest I am dreading it. The first appointment was peculiar to be honest I had a consultant that had the bedside manner of Frankenstein. He didn’t look me in the eye once, appeared to be not listening to a word I said and basically made me feel somewhat invisible.

He requested blood tests, urine tests etc and then said oh yes patch testing. When I asked what he thought it was, he stood by the door and said “mmmm could be an allergy, probably Lupus” and then left the room.

So I had the blood tests done, but I was not keen to have any patch testing done as I had been seeing a specialist nurse for over a year and she had specifically said to me that patch testing was not conclusive and my rash presented in a way to make her certain it was not a contact allergy problem. Even so I did elimination tests to rule out anything I was using, but these proved to be futile, as nothing made any difference.

So when I went back to the hospital I said this to the nurse that I wanted the blood tests results before I proceeded further. She said she couldn’t give me the results? So I said well I want to see the consultant then, so obviously I had to make another appointment.

I had subsequently requested a copy of my notes from the hospital, I do this every so often as there is so much going on and I never receive copies of the letters my consultants send to my doctor.

It seems that all my blood tests results are lost, so no wonder the nurse couldn’t tell me what was going on there.

So now my dilemma. I have been down this long diagnosis road before, as I have severe endometriosis (and a host of other ailments), so I understand that this is not going to be quick and easy. But what do I say to this guy to make him listen and talk to me like I am a human being and not some practice dummy? I feel fired up at the moment but as soon a I get into the consultation room I do tend to turn hospital shy and feel very small. I am taking somebody with me for back up, so I wont be alone. But I just wonder what I should say to make this a successful appointment and not another waste of time?

Any advice would be much appreciated. I am sorry I have gone on a bit, but it is just so frustrating.

Thanks for reading!

Regards

Star
 

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:( Hi Star, I am so sorry for the way that things are going for you. I hate to tell you this, but it is kind of normal around here. It is very hard to fing all the dr.'s you need and like them also, at the same time. I don't know what to say:"I brought my friend along to help me remember everything( big smile). Other than that, I would just try to make this one appt work, and if it does not, then I would ask your GP for a referral to a different Dermy. I wish that I could help more, but the ole brain isn't working well this
morning. But take charge, you have to.:wink2:
 

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First off, what do you mean the test results are lost? Just your doctors office lost them? What about the actual lab that produces the results? I would get a copy from there if you can. I know here that you can go and get a copy yourself.

I would ask this doc "where is my blood tests" and maybe write your questions down on a paper. I did this once with a doctor who was kind of like that and because I would forget or be embarrassed to ask. I gave him the paper with my few questions on it and he addressed them one by one.

You deserve to have answers and if this doc cannot help you then ask who can.

Good luck and glad you are taking someone with you.
 

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Discussion Starter #4
When I say the tests results are lost, I mean lost in space, lost in transit, or misplaced. These were taken at the hospital. I have spoken to my doctor and she was told they have no record of any blood tests being taken (she was not impressed). Thus lost!

I am hoping that they will miraculously turn up at my appointment, but I wont hold my breath. I will write down what I am going to say, but I was hoping for a little more info/advice to help me out.
:worried:
 

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Hi Star

Im sorry to hear about how you have been messed around re the blood tests but mad as heck about that cretin of a dermatologist :mad: He sounds like a total ignoramus and hopefully he will spend the rest of this month with knicker wedgies chaffing his nether regions :mad:

I know how intimidating it feels in these situations. As a patient who is ill it is natural to feel very vulnerable and therefore not at our best. It is the hardest thing to advocate for ourselves in health situations. However practice makes perfect and its good that you are planning well in advance.

First of all dont beat yourself up that you suddenly get all hospital shy. Im pretty sure that happens to every one of us at some stage. I know it happens to me. The best thing you can do is plan what you want to say. He is definitely not the talkative type so you are going to have to take charge of the conversation.

Think about questions you would like answered and write them down on a sheet of paper. Make sure you prioritise what you need to know. Dont have a huge list of things - just enough to make sure that you are in control of the conversation.

At the start of the appointment (or when you consider it the most appropriate time) say something like 'I have x number of questions here that I would like to go through with you and get your response'. I remember the first time I did this and the doctor did sit up and take notice. I had a copy for him which I just placed on top of the file under his nose while I commenced asking my questions. If there is anything you dont understand or you feel he hasnt explained just ask him to run it by you again.

If you feel he is not responding to you or getting irritated or being a moron then it doesnt do any harm to acknowledge that he appears to be very busy but its important that you get these questions answered and there may be someone else on his team who can answer them for you. Bottom line is...dont let him put you off. Just remember to be like a broken record. Repeating and repeating.

You may still at the end of it not get everything answered but you will have changed the dynamic between you both and hopefully it will get better over time.

If he is still being a total idiot and just plain rude - maybe the more direct approach might be needed. Something like 'I am sensing that you might be too busy to answer these questions for me so if there is someone else here I could address them to - that would be great. I dont mind waiting while you get someone' (Smiling sweetly and looking him directly in the eye all the time...)

Of course failing all that you could talk to your GP about getting another referral to a different Dermy? I dont know if thats possible but sometimes thats what it takes.

The very best of luck and remember - there is only one you and you deserve the best possible health care.

Joan:rose:
 
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