Hello Everyone,
I don't even know where to begin, as my mind is racing and has been for about a month now with the possibility of having a disease for which there is no cure.
I apologize in advance for the length of this message.
I have only recently been tested and have yet to get the results of my bloodwork to begin the process of diagnosing me. All signs point to Lupus. I have no idea how this happened. I am 23 years old, was mainly in great health most of my life, very active, ate healthy, exercised, then maybe 4 years ago I started getting sick very easily, picking up things, in the past 2 years I would pick up a throat infection like strep or laryngitis or tonsillitis once a month it seemed. Also about 5 years ago I noticed I would suddenly start limping, as my knee would hurt, or my ankles, but assumed it was from dancing as a young girl and teenager, then within the past year the pain in my knee which comes and goes has been so painful I am in tears. Doctors thought maybe it was tendonitis.
One month ago, I got yet another throat infection, which the doctor assumed was tonsillitis and gave me penicillin (even though I told him I may be allgeric). After almost a week it went away, and then one morning I woke up with a rash on my chest that seemed like a heat rash, so I didn't think anything of it. Throughout the day it progressed, to when I woke up in the morning my entire body was covered. I got extremely worried and thought I had an allergic reaction to the penicillin. I was out of town and couldn't see my doctor for a few days who when I got to, told me it could be an allergy, or was Scarlet Fever and put me on a week's worth of Prednisone.
Now, the rash went away, the Prednisone gave me a few unlikable side effects, but for about a week I forgot about it. Naturally, I couldn't help wanting to self diagnose, though knowing it can never be correct without seeking actual medical advice, while searching allergies and Scarlet Fever, Lupus kept popping up, so I read more and more and more about it, and I fit the bill for almost each symptom. I even had a butterfly type rash.
I still decided not to see the doctor again, they never mentioned Lupus, so why should I? Then I noticed my skin getting worse again, not a rash, but mottled looking, discolored circles, like as if I had been suntanning with my rash and it left a tan around each bump and sore, but it wasn't raised at all. It would come and go, I would noticed it better in certain light, in the bathroom, after a shower, after a day in the sun or a tanning salon.
So I finally saw the doctor a few days ago, and told them my concerns, made it clear I wasn't self diagnosing but I am a little worried and already depressed as of the appearance of my skin and being sick so often. They agreed, and wrote up a series of blood tests, ANA, etc.
At this point, I still wasn't worried, and still wasn't that concerned though, thinking there's no way I actually have Lupus and it was just an allergy that hasn't let my skin go back to normal yet. But then today I woke up, looked at my arms and they looked clear, I was happy, put on a dress and walked to the beach. After 30 minutes, sitting down on a grassy area by the water I looked down and my skin was red and mottled again. That was the moment I realized I could really have this, as I used to be a sun fanatic, grew up in the lake, around a pool, in a resort town, and suddenly my skin was sensitive to light. Now many hours later my skin is still hot and burning, yet cold at the same time in other areas. I still don't have my results back.
I guess I am just seeking comfort, perhaps knowing someone else shares a story like mine and I am not going crazy, and that it did more or less come out of no where for someone else.
I can't stop reading statistics on Lupus life expectancy. If I have Lupus, I literally, am dying. Someone's dying friend. Another statistic. Regardless of maybe not dying tomorrow, and dying 20 years from now, my quality of life would be greatly diminshed. I am 23 years old, female, sporty, active, used to model, and am already self concious of my body, of what will happen to me when I get a flare again, when I rash breaks out all over me, when years of damage to my body has taken place will I be happy and in love? I want to get married, have children, watch them grow, feel beautiful.
I am rambling now, I am sorry. I am just trying to wrap my head around this.
Thank you for your time, and your input if you have any. Bless you.
I don't even know where to begin, as my mind is racing and has been for about a month now with the possibility of having a disease for which there is no cure.
I apologize in advance for the length of this message.
I have only recently been tested and have yet to get the results of my bloodwork to begin the process of diagnosing me. All signs point to Lupus. I have no idea how this happened. I am 23 years old, was mainly in great health most of my life, very active, ate healthy, exercised, then maybe 4 years ago I started getting sick very easily, picking up things, in the past 2 years I would pick up a throat infection like strep or laryngitis or tonsillitis once a month it seemed. Also about 5 years ago I noticed I would suddenly start limping, as my knee would hurt, or my ankles, but assumed it was from dancing as a young girl and teenager, then within the past year the pain in my knee which comes and goes has been so painful I am in tears. Doctors thought maybe it was tendonitis.
One month ago, I got yet another throat infection, which the doctor assumed was tonsillitis and gave me penicillin (even though I told him I may be allgeric). After almost a week it went away, and then one morning I woke up with a rash on my chest that seemed like a heat rash, so I didn't think anything of it. Throughout the day it progressed, to when I woke up in the morning my entire body was covered. I got extremely worried and thought I had an allergic reaction to the penicillin. I was out of town and couldn't see my doctor for a few days who when I got to, told me it could be an allergy, or was Scarlet Fever and put me on a week's worth of Prednisone.
Now, the rash went away, the Prednisone gave me a few unlikable side effects, but for about a week I forgot about it. Naturally, I couldn't help wanting to self diagnose, though knowing it can never be correct without seeking actual medical advice, while searching allergies and Scarlet Fever, Lupus kept popping up, so I read more and more and more about it, and I fit the bill for almost each symptom. I even had a butterfly type rash.
I still decided not to see the doctor again, they never mentioned Lupus, so why should I? Then I noticed my skin getting worse again, not a rash, but mottled looking, discolored circles, like as if I had been suntanning with my rash and it left a tan around each bump and sore, but it wasn't raised at all. It would come and go, I would noticed it better in certain light, in the bathroom, after a shower, after a day in the sun or a tanning salon.
So I finally saw the doctor a few days ago, and told them my concerns, made it clear I wasn't self diagnosing but I am a little worried and already depressed as of the appearance of my skin and being sick so often. They agreed, and wrote up a series of blood tests, ANA, etc.
At this point, I still wasn't worried, and still wasn't that concerned though, thinking there's no way I actually have Lupus and it was just an allergy that hasn't let my skin go back to normal yet. But then today I woke up, looked at my arms and they looked clear, I was happy, put on a dress and walked to the beach. After 30 minutes, sitting down on a grassy area by the water I looked down and my skin was red and mottled again. That was the moment I realized I could really have this, as I used to be a sun fanatic, grew up in the lake, around a pool, in a resort town, and suddenly my skin was sensitive to light. Now many hours later my skin is still hot and burning, yet cold at the same time in other areas. I still don't have my results back.
I guess I am just seeking comfort, perhaps knowing someone else shares a story like mine and I am not going crazy, and that it did more or less come out of no where for someone else.
I can't stop reading statistics on Lupus life expectancy. If I have Lupus, I literally, am dying. Someone's dying friend. Another statistic. Regardless of maybe not dying tomorrow, and dying 20 years from now, my quality of life would be greatly diminshed. I am 23 years old, female, sporty, active, used to model, and am already self concious of my body, of what will happen to me when I get a flare again, when I rash breaks out all over me, when years of damage to my body has taken place will I be happy and in love? I want to get married, have children, watch them grow, feel beautiful.
I am rambling now, I am sorry. I am just trying to wrap my head around this.
Thank you for your time, and your input if you have any. Bless you.