[mtngirl]

Does anyone else feel embarassed about always having ailments? I'm afraid people will think I'm a hypercondriac & making excuses for not participating or obligating myself to activities. Nobody understands about this till they have it themselves. You can try to explain, but I don't think people really want to hear it.. I used to be a hard worker & the one that got things done; now some days I don't even want to comb my hair... I don't think I started out depressed, but this persistant tiredness & other problems have taken its toll.

 

[Maia]

Not really. I used to be a real "go-getter", I did it all and then some more. I did a lot of physical labor even like chainsawing trees, baling hay, signed up to assist with big horse events, etc. I think now... years later... I don't obligate myself to anything (as you put it so well) and people just think I'm one of those people that is too busy maybe? Only close family and close friends are told of my true health status in real life. I rarely discuss my health with neighbors or aquantainces other than "I have a cold/sinus infection/stomach flu" or the more ordinary sorts of things that everyone understands.

This has worked for me, of course it might not be right for everybody. I also do my best to not worry or think about what others think anymore, because I've found it does extremely little, to no good, to possible harm!

 

[Katharine]

Hello and Welcome!

I think we all worry about that to an extent. Unfortunately a lot of us were brought up to feel guilty half the time even when we've done nothing wrong :lol: I know I was!

I used to be very active too. An outdoor job etc. Like Maia I try to avoid explaining to acquaintances and when I'm obliged to because something happens kind of in front of them, I tend to simplify and liken to something they'll recognise.

I do sometimes feel that one day hubby will turn around and say, "have you finshed with going on about it?" but deep down I know he won't, he's a lovely man and most of the time we try and laugh about it.

I did get a bit of a bad reaction from some people at my aikido class, just the odd one or two, who have obviously decided that I don't come any more because I can't hack it and seeing as I have my black belt I'm too lazy anyway...well something like that. They think the illness is in my head.
Little do they know quite how much I wish I could go back and continue learning!

hope to hear more from you soon,
Katharine

 

[Karly1964]

I pretty much used to all the tme, now every once in a while the guilt hits me...I had a doctor tell me when I was in my twenties, that everything was all in my head, and that was before the lupus symptoms started, at that time I was sent to an internist and he diagnosed me with lyme disease, and my ANA was positive as well later on. I hate that some doctors feel like it is their job to quickly make you feel like your symptoms are not important. I am glad now that I have both a GP, psychiatrist, rheumatologist and nurse practioner etc who are all very good listeners and after all they are there to take care of me. Karly

It is a hard thing to get past sometimes, but they are there to listen and if they act annoyed or like they don't believe you, maybe it is time to find someone else.