[elfiah]

Hello everyone! im lotfiah yusoph, 33 yrs old, diagnosed with lupus since march 2002. I Have a 1yr old baby girl after 9th pregnancy.During pregnancy, im on complete bed rest with heparin injection.I got very ill after giving birth last july 10,2007 until now.And last year, i almost spent the whole year inside the hosp, ive been in ICU twice,Svt and body weaknes was my admitting diagnosis.And then my husband left me, last aug 12, that was 5 mos ago.I thought its the end of the world,I have lost everything, my home , my car..etc.I cant sleep at night and i cant describe the pain , loneliness and emptiness that strikes me.But then, i have to live for fatsy,though its hard without him or it may be like what i got used to before but maybe this is whats best for me. thats all for now...regards to all.:sad:

 

[Pink Pearl]

Hi, and welcome to the board.
I am very sorry you are faced with so many complicated problems. You don't say if you are working with a physican and taking medication for both issues of anxiety and depression. If not, your doctor needs to know how you are feeling, and you at least need to be getting proper medication. Some counseling may be of benefit as well, but that is up to you and your physicians.

Yes, you need to live for your daughter. You are the only mother your daughter will have and she needs the best you can give her. I am very sorry you have lost your home and all that went with it. None of this is a quick fix. Have you discussed this with your doctor? Perhaps there is a program for single parents where you can get affordable housing. If you are not already, ask your doctor if you would qualify for disability benefits. You didn't say where you are living, in the UK or elsewhere. Disability benefits vary from one nation to another.

Positive thoughts headed your way.
Sally

 

[pollianna]

Hello elfia, am very sorry to read your story. Congratulations on your little baby. It's such a hard time being a new mum even when you have help, can't imagine how lonely you must feel . Please hold on to the thought that the darkest hour is always before the dawn. If you can ask for a councillor at the hospital. You need to talk as much as possible. I hope you will feel a little better knowing there are others here sending our best wishes to you both...Pauline xx

 

[Joandublin]

Dear Elfiah

I am so sorry to hear of your situation. However I am so glad that you have a beautiful child. Do you have any supports around you? Do you have any family or friends that you can call on for help?

You didnt say where you are living so Im not sure if I can help :worried: Please be assured that we will help and advise you all we can if we know a little bit more about your circumstances.

You dont have to feel lonely anymore because we are hear to listen to you and respond in any way we can. Please reply and let us know how you are.

Much Love
Joan:rose:

 

[LolaLola]

Dear Elfiah, This is so sad for you at a time when you should have been really happy with your lovely Daughter.After all that has happened you deserve things to go well. To look after your Daughter you really do need to look after yourself. I am sure the lack of money is a constant worry and stress.
Maybe your Doctor will know of who is the best person to contact locally for advice on money, housing etc.
We are all here for you, sometimes when you have a baby for company it is good to have other adults too.
x Lola

 

[onetay]

Hi lotfiah,
Welcome to the forum. I know also what you are going throug and it sounds like you are having a hard time and for that I am so sorry. These times can add a lot of stress which is not good for your health. You have been faced with some of the hardest things to do and to have them all at once, we are here even if you just need to vent. On the plus side you can move to a new place that has you and your daughters memories now, if you are able to work, you can find something that maybe you have wanted to do for a long time, once you start to get on your feet then maybe a car will be in your future.

There is something to be said for being a single parent, you are the final word, you have more one on one time with your very special little one, and though my daughter is now 20 yrs. old we are closer than we would of been had her dad stayed with us. I told her the day she was born I would never let anyone hurt her and that it was us and her brother against the world. We started are big adventure of helping each other and taking care of each other. When I was said I found myself rocking her and holding her ( so comforted me as much as I comforted her). It was so cute my son use to go around telling his grandma he was the man of the house and would protect his mama and his sissy ( he was only 3 lol). I am not sure this helps any but if you need to talk I am her for you.
Tammy

 

[elfiah]

Thanks for all of your replies, i almost cried while reading..Im working with a rheuma and a cardiologist.My rheuma referred me to a neuropsychiatrist but my cardio told me not to go now 'coz im taking a lot of meds right now, like isoptin, nebicar, vastarel, methycobal, pred 10..etc and adding up medication for anxiety and depression may destroy my liver and kidney.
Im now living with my parents in a very tiny house,the land is government property & there is no program here in the philippines for single parent or disability benefits.My ex-husband is a chemical engineer and we were happy and contented before even when we have no child,we had 2 cars and a simple house but we lost it for hospital bills & due to many debts, he left us at times i needed him most & i cant work to feed my baby.He's in japan right now & i have no contact with him.
I have lots of friends but im tired of sharing them my pains and sufferings for i hate it when they pity me and cant do anything bout my illness.Im happy now because i found this site who will understand and really can feel what im going through.Regards to u sally,joan,lola,pauline, tammy & to all of u there.:wink2: