TheLupusSite.com banner

1 - 14 of 14 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
39 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
I have had weird symptoms for about 4 years. Life changing symptoms for a year. Same the rheumy for the 1st time Dec. 17th. She is leaning towards Lupus. Ok, great, kinda. I finally got some answers instead of being passed to another dr.
So I tell my mother-in-law & she insists that I have Aspartame poisoning. That I take in way to much Aspartame & that is what is causeing all my weird symptoms. I might drink as many as 2 diet Dr. Peppers a day. She says that it's all the diet stuff I eat. I don't eat diet stuff. I looked up Aspartame realted illnesses & it's like a big joke. I sent her this website & she still insists that I don't have Lupus or anything seriously wrong with me. I could just assume that she wants all the attention, which she does, but could I have this poisoning?
http://www.aspartamearchives.org/aspartame-side-effects.htm
Anyone else been told that thay have Aspartame poisioning? My mother-in-law through out all kinds of stuff. She said that Aspartame is even in pill medicine. What do y'all think about this? I'd rather ask y'all then research this claim.
Thanks!
Jen
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,404 Posts
I have heard of this before,but I can't see that you are consuming much Aspartane.
She sounds in denial, I hope you get sorted out and get the treatment you deserve.
x Lola
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
14,661 Posts
I am glad you are getting somwehere with your diagnois but sorry you have to deal with a MIL who's this sort of person. It's bad enough coping with people who dont believe you are ill,but far worse when they believe this aspartame rubbish or push all sorts of 'remedies'

This all derives from an internet hoax about 1995 which is anecdotal & the person who is supposed to have written the conference paper doesn't really exist. There is no scientific validity to it and it doesn't even stand up to plain common sense. It claims that every ill known to man including genetic disabilities comes from aspartame as if they hadn't existed until aspartame started being consumed.

That article linked is a sound summing up of the real facts and this one explains a bit more about the hoax. The first quoted article in it is the hoax - the comments come after it :)
http://www.snopes.com/medical/toxins/aspartame.asp

I only hope that your husband supports you and suggests to his mom that she shuts right up and gives her opinions only when she's asked. She might like a look at the letters pinned at the top of family and friends section here to get a better idea of how to be supportive.
Maybe she is sincere and simply misguided.

Good luck
Clare
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
39 Posts
Discussion Starter #4
Thanks

My MIL knows what I have been going through. We have a pretty good relationship & I feel like I can talk to her most of the time about anything. I have been with her son for 14 years, married 11 1/2 & we have 3 children. I thought that she would be releived that I finally found the right dr. & was getting the right treatment. I have been tested for cancer, Lyme disease, MS & now Lupus.
She was Mrs. Perfect. Preacher's Wife, great mom, best house keeper. Then she had a nervous break down & tried to commit suicide. Now she is so depressed. I was watching Mystery Diagnosis while I was at her house for Christmas. She told me matter of factly that "people like us" (dxed with depression), should not watch that sort of stuff because "we" start to have those symptoms & it's all in our heads. What BS! I love those types of shows because I love to learn about the human body.
I am really starting to think that she does not want me to have Lupus, MS or whatever because she's afraid it will take attention off of her poor pitiful self. I know that was ugly but it's bad enough living with these symptoms just to have them passed off as dieting.
Thanks all for your replies. Take care.
Jen
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
521 Posts
Jen,

I'm glad i don't have a MIL. I'm especially glad i don't have yours. :)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,289 Posts
Hi Jen,

It is so frustrating when our nearest and dearest don't understand and make up their own minds. Please tell me if I'm out of line here but could it be possible that your MIL feels that you are stealing her 'limelight'.

My mother has always had things wrong with her and don't get me wrong some of them were serious, some of them she really played on. When I was diagnosed with lupus she didn't handle it very well and almost seemed to treat it like 'I had won'. I didn't even know there was a competition going on or I would've tried harder! :lol:

I have a very strained relationship with my mother and she has used my condition to gain sympathy from others. My hubby says it's like Munchausen Syndrome by Proxy - I've had relatives from the other side of the world call me to say how sorry they are about my diagnosis and how upset my mother is when I know she hasn't spoken to them in decades!!!!

It's just a thought and I hope you can get your MIL to understand your situation. Maybe telling her that the background to the aspartame story might help.

I'm thinking of you.

Hugz,

Pam xxx
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
15,684 Posts
((((((((((Jen)))))))))))) Clare gave you good advice about the Aspartane Hoax.

Sadieone :rotfl:

love
Lily
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
39 Posts
Discussion Starter #8
Thanks Pam!

My own mother has always been in a weird compition with me too. But it is weight, not medical. She did however, treat me like a hypochondriac growing up. Well of course I always had a boo boo. I didn't have a father, at all, & my mom was never home. Even when she wasn't working, she was always somewhere other than with me. Right after my cuz & brother molested me, I told my aunt & she didn't believe me. So I didn't tell my mom. My brother continued to molest me for over 2 years. No one has ever appologized for not beleiving me when it all came to surface.
I tell her very little about my health now a days. When I was being tested for colon cancer, I didn't tell her. When the neuro thought I had MS & sent me for an MRI, I didn't tell her. It's sad to not be able to have your mother by your side during hard times. I work at her resturant with her & my grouchy grandmother M-Sat. It's not easy to act "ok" all the time.
You are right about my mother-in-law. Everytime I am having some kind of issue, she comes up with her own issue. Like I am trying to 1 up her by possibly having Lupus. Crazy. I just want answers, not attention.
Thanks for your reply. Take care!
Jen
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,583 Posts
:eek: Hi Jen, My mother raised us kids very strict. We were not allowed candy or sodas because we all had soft teeth and those items had all that sugar. So she always made us Kool-Aid, and>She Sweetened it with Aspertame!!!!At that time, long, long, ago, it came in the form of tiny little pills in a glass bottle. I wont tell you how old I am, but I was raised on Kool-Aid and I am still alive. Ignore it and have
fun.:wink2:
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,101 Posts
Howdy Jen,
Not to insult anyone but for many years every fruit loops new age ninny has been telling me of the "dangers" of Aspartame and backing it up with information from that repository of all truth - the Internet. My MD thinks it is all bunk. I did a little research and despite what so many say Aspartame is, it is only an incomplete protein. As most will know, rice and peas contain only incomplete proteins (from the point of view of human nutrition) but when put together in a meal yield protein as complete as eating a hunk of beef. It follows that drinking (a moderate amount of) Aspartame should be as dangerous as eating rice or peas. I exagerate but I have been around long enough to have endured the fearsome warnings and food fads that come and go. Lean beef is good for you; lean beef will kill you. Saccharine will save your life; saccharine will kill you by Tuesday. Coffee will destroy brain cells; coffee will make you into an Einstein. I think I will go sit in a corner and drink water. Oh, wait! Too much water is bad for you.
Aristotle was right: moderation makes sense.
Don't inject Dr Pepper. And take food warnings and recommendations with a grain of salt (unless you are hypertensive).
Douglas+
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
39 Posts
Discussion Starter #11
Thanks everyone!

I knew this was proably nonsence or the FDA would have taken it off the market long ago. Her shrink told her that it was true so she totaly believes it. She also saw some special on tv about it causeing brain cancer. I already thought her shrink was nuts, now I know she is. I found these 2 great articals from the snoops website. Check them out if you are interested. I forwarded them to my mother-in-law last night. Thanks again for all of y'alls great comments!
Jen

http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,990167,00.html
http://www.fda.gov/bbs/topics/ANSWERS/ANS00772.html
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
39 Posts
Discussion Starter #12
My thoughts

My MIL did not appreciate me sending her websites about how rediculous the aspartame claimes are. So her plan is to keep looking up articles and web sites because she then says that just maybe we can get to the REAL bottom of my health issues. She said that she just hates to think of me having to live with lupus the rest of my days. She understands it is quite painful and miserable. She's on a mission to help me find a diagnosis that is correct.
She beleives all this rubbish because her shrink told her that it's true. You would think that a medical professional would not confirm this notion without looking into it herself.
So the conclusion is that I am done talking to her about my health. I have you guys & my hubby. I can't let her ideas affect me. I can't beleive how upset I got about her saying "REAL" & help me find a correct dx. Thank you all for your support & wisdom.
Jen
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
6,152 Posts
Ah well Jen...you're not going to win this one so you are dead right to just completely ignore her and stop trying to defend yourself. However I think the day will come very soon when you are going to have to do more than ignore her. It sounds like you may have to proactively tell her to beggar off and stop annoying you. Tell her to find another crusade.

I think she is incredibly insensitive and ignorant and she sounds like a complete 'know-all' :mad: Strike her off your Christmas Card list immediately!

Print out the email, find a picture of her and put both together in a flame proof dish and set fire to them. Always a good way of 'closing' off a space :lol: I find!..... You could always had a bit of aspartame to the fire and see if it really takes off? ;)

Love n hugs
Joan:rose:
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
142 Posts
Hi Jen,

Having a support network, emotional and sometimes by physycal help, I think is important in any chronic illness. Perhaps, you could gently tell your MIL that you appreciate her efforts in trying to help you with her research but that it would be more useful for you, if she is interested, if she read up on lupus. Perhaps ypou need to tell her how she could be helpful.

I am a "shrink" as well and to me it seems more probable that her therapist is more likely to be interested in ther wanting to "fix you" as a process immortant to your MIL than in validating her aspartamine poisoning theory.

Hope you can find a way ro ralk to her and to get all the support you might need in a pending diagnosis of lupus.

Take care,
Cris:)
 
1 - 14 of 14 Posts
Top