[florie]

Hi all,
I appreaciate what you have all said. And you are all very right about me. I put everyone ahead of myself. It's hard to change.

My visit with my pschiatrist today was not well. He said that its not the medicine to increase,it's about therapy with it. He said I need lots,and lots of therapy. He wants me to see my therapist once a week. He also stated that i am to negetive. He said your mom is on her death bed , what are you going to do when she's not here anymore?
He wants to see me again in 1 month. I never had to see him again that soon.
I do have an appt. with my therapist next week.
What is his thoughts of what's going on with me? Am i on a road of loosing my mind? I won't let that happen. I hope i will get more positive before something does happen to my mom.
And you are all right, a mini vacation would be good. But again, for now i am not in the frame of mind to make plans, I am having a hard time motivating myself. I just want to rest and not have any commitments for a while. I have no energy . I feel i have one big commitment now that has put me in this situation but i have to follow it through. If i don't i will live with guilt.
Hope you all understand what i am saying.
hugs to all my caring friends, luv,florie

 

[KarolH]

Florie,

Therapy, in my humble opinion is a beautiful thing and can only lead to you feeling better and getting to the bottom of what is going on.

If your not in the right frame of mind to plan a vacation then how about just a nice day trip??? Pack a picnic lunch and take a walk through a park, stop and have lunch and continue on that walk..............it could do you a world of good.

Keep your chin up my friend. Your a awesome daughter to care for your mother and she is grateful to have you even if she does not say so.

I hope your therapy goes good and please keep us posted as you move ahead.:wink2::wink2::wink2:

 

[debatat]

Florie, I think maybe your therapist can see how much stress you are under in this difficult situation and is increasing your appts to help you through it. It will be your time to vent on how you are feeling. Which can only be a good thing. Karols idea of a picnic is a lovely one. Maybe you could book yourself a manicure or a pedicure? Just a little pick me up.

Be kind to yourself.

Deb x

 

[Merle]

Hi Florie

Your psychiatrist sounds a bit judgmental as regards how you should deal with your mother?!?! Isn't it his job simply to make you strong enough to make your own decisions. Most relationship decisions do not have a right or wrong answer; just the least destructive or most positive one (collectively) for the people involved.

I am afraid I have to disagree with Karol on this one. In my experience therapist (albeit those in the UK) have a somewhat simplistic approach to issues - a bit one size fits all. Further, it appears that the direction followed in discussions is dependent on whether the therapist concerned sympathizes with you / your situation on a personal level ( - we are all human ). As I had a hard childhood and a generous approach to other people - they were far too willing to blame my depression on others cruelty/taking advantage and to seek to protect me from life.

The first time I had therapy - the "intellectual outcome" was obvious - I should leave my husband - he was not kind and did not appreciate me. In my vulnerable state, I "obeyed" for the sake of my sanity?!?!?!

The next time I had a suicidal episode, I found myself being guided by different therapists in a similar direction in relation to my second husband. This time, however, I was in a group setting, and was therefore able to observe others therapy as well. I saw that they too were being maneuvered according to what seemed equitable. A bit like Judge Judy in a clinical setting. This time I rebelled and refused to accept their simple "solution". Been there done that.............

Following my diagnosis with CNS lupus (with multiple brain lesions), it has become all too apparent that my depression was and has always been, due to entirely physical causes - which were only treatable with large amounts of medication for life - to replace the chemicals that I lack. And my relationship with my husband ........ is fantastic! The scary thing is that had I not observed the therapists limitations (personal and therapeutic) I could easily have succumbed to the direction in which the therapy was taking me - and I would have lost him. It does not bear thinking about.

Sorry to be such a cynic.

Hope you find your answers.

Merle

 

[x_claire_x]

Hiya Florie.. I also think the psychiatrist/psychologist who judges your relationships with anybody to be dangerous..... my relationship with my mother has always been fraught with difficulty as she was a very damaged person... who became a vulnerable old person. I have to be honest and say since she has died it has been a weight off my shoulders, I wouldn't have known that for sure until she died in June.. she had alzheimers, no dignity etc and needed to leave this earth. I could not have done more for her, she was fortunate to have one of her children fight her corner in her later years, after our childhood..... you can not tell how you are going to feel in the future about anything, you can only go with your heart now and wait and see..... You take care of yourself and stay true to yourself when dealing with others, sometimes you need a little distance from others to remain calm and settled!!!...other people do not live in your skin or mind or situation, they can not possibly judge... lots of love and hugs,
Claire XX
ps.. I still think psychotherapy has a place.. it just needs to be the correct place!!

 

[florie]

Thank you all for your kind responses and caring thoughts. Your suggestions were great about taking time for myself with a pedicure or etc.
I did get out for a bit today with my daughter and grandson. But there was no magic on my condition.
I am sad and dont really know what i want anymore. I have become more confused then ever.
The physchiartist is who monitors my meds and makes adjustments. His referral to continue seeing the therapist is the best thing. Yes i can vent, i can cry, and i can listen to her steps for getting positive. But it works for a while because i am living in the shoes of a caretaker. It is so easy for her to tell me to do this and that. But this is my mother and i don't want to live with any guilt later on. The therapist suggestions are the same of what all of you have given me. But right now i am in a state of mind where i am brain fogged and tired. I feel this is going to take a lot of visits which puts presssure on me. It is so hard to explain because lately all my feelings, and confusion are closed up inside me. My mind works faster than my sentences do. My thoughts and feelings are at the point that i cant explain. I dont talk much and think to much. She will have to find a way to start me off for what my inner feelings and saddness is all about. I hope this makes sense to all of you.
well i will let you know how my visit goes with the therapist.
I can write better to explain myself then talking. Cause my talk starts at one place, then goes into another place. Wow, i cant believe i have taken more steps backwards than forward by not seeing my therapist since March.
hugs, florie

 

[KarolH]

I have to admit that Merle did make a lot of sense in what she says here.

Food for thought!!!