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I'm sorry you are having such a hard time. I often feel guilty that my husband has to live with my illness. We got engaged just before I found out I had lupus. Then, I was fine for a couple of years and lately having a couple of bad flare-ups that keep me out of work. That's the hardest part for me. Not being able to contribute financially. It often makes me feel useless. But as my mother-in-law told me, if he were in my situation, wouldn't I take care of him because I love him? No doubts. He is so sweet to me when I am sick, bringing my meals in bed, helping me shower, cleaning the house, changing my sweat-soaked sheets when I have fevers. I ask him how he puts up with all this and he simply says, "Because I love you."
Your husband sounds very supportive and obviously if he didn't want to deal with your illness, he would've left a long time ago. And what a great son to look after you like that. It probably makes him feel good to be able to do things for you and he is going to grow into a strong, sympathetic, GOOD man. Despite your pain, you are blessed.
When you need to cry, just let it out. I certainly have my moments. I am on 50 mg of prednisone right now, so you can only imagine the mood swings I experience. Somtimes I just start sobbing and can't stop. Then, I usually feel better.
I know things will get better for you soon. Stay strong~ :foryou:
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