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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Just curious... Does anyone else blame themselves for getting sick? I feel like, I must have done something to deserve this. (I reckon I can't think of what...) Or, perhaps my constant panic attacks as a kid drove my immune system wonky.

I'm kind of struggeling with feeling like it's my fault.
 

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I feel the same way alot. I keep thinking what could I have done that was so bad that I deserve this. All the bad things that I have ever done in my life keep running through my head and I think maybe if I had done things differently I would not have been punished with this awful disease.
 

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Once again I can say, I am not alone. After all the years, several decades in fact, of thinking and catching hints (and second hand statements) of "It's all in your head", one begins to believe it. Neurotic guilt.
Thus, with lots of help from a Programme, I no longer have to live under the dictatorship of my own sick emotions. Except once in a while....
I kid around that years ago I even felt guilty for the Boer War. If you can learn to see your guilt as the same as my Boer War guilt - and laugh a little, first at me and then at yourself, things will be easier.
Normal people will tell you to watch for those events which trigger the guilt; I have too many so I just watch for the guilt and then :rotfl:.
Douglas+
 

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Although I too went through years of "it's in your head" insinuations I have to say that I don't think that I did something wrong. I do sometimes feel slight pangs of guilt for not being able to do certain things, for not being able to get back to work... (I am human after all) but, on the whole, with everything I have had to "survive" in life I figure I can't possibly have done that many things wrong!!!
 

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Pamela b
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I dont blame myself at all.
But I feel so guilty that the house is always a mess, the dogs dont get walked as much as they should and I am rubbish at my job which I am going to leave soon, even though I cant afford to.
I feel bad that I can not provide the same support for my family that I used to do and that I am not the strong individual I used to be.
I am an emotional and physical wreck a lot of the time and sometimes think, is it me that is not trying to get better ?
I am now trying to walk for at least 15 minutes 2 x daily but the pleursy pain gets to me and I get so short of breath, So I tell myself its not my fault and I am not to blame.
I am going to learn to watch daytime TV in readiness for my imposed retirement which I hope will only be temporary !
Anyone tried it, is it good ???????
Pam
 

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Love the avatar...........is this you?

Anyway, NO, I do not blame myself at all. I learned a long time ago that blaming myself for things I have no control of will only eat you up inside and make you feel worse not to mention adding stress to your life.

I also seem to spend a lot of time in denial and honestly it just works for me.

I think I have come to realize that most things in life that happen to us we do not have much control over. I learned this through therapy a long time ago.

Keep your chin up WaneP.:wink2::wink2::wink2:
 

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No i dont, i never asked for it but then does anyone, just another thing to live with,

that as to live with me not me with it lol .Lin xxx:lol:
 

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Flibble63;548613 said:
I always say that I must have done something really bad in a past life to have these problems now.
Laura
Ha ha ha That's my mantra Laura!

Everything happens for a reason WaneP, I've had to give over my reasoning to that one little sentence to stay sane. No one deserves what we go through and none of us bring it on ourselves.

I have the housework/parenting/my car needs a clean/can't work guilt. I've been getting paid 75% of my wage since I stopped working over 2 years ago and until 6mths ago was still the highest earner in my home, hasn't stopped my mother in law and other unkind people making snide comments about me being some kind of lazy dirty thing that financially sponges of her son. I gave up trying to correct them by telling them I AM ILL and still earn more than he does - We have a saying in our house - Those who mattter know, those who don't know, don't matter! :)

Hope you are having a better day today chicky!
 

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The Other Illinois Tammy
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Wane,
I think that it is a process that everyone goes through at one time or another. You try and figure out what you did wrong. What you didn't eat enough of or not taking and resting enough. Believe me when I say that it is nothing that you did or could of done. It is as simple as the luck of the draw it seems. There are factors that make it more likely you could develope it but not the cause and they are things you have no (I repeat NO) control over. It will take time to come to terms with it and somethings just when you think your ok here comes something new to upset your apple cart again lol. This will be the wildest roller coast you will ever ride in your life.

I do hope that you are doing well and feeling well also. Go through the process you have to so you can feel better emotionally. We are here if you need us.
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
I think I have inverted Karma. It came to me one cold, wet day when I was walking to class in my brand new rubber boots. I held the door for someone, and shortly after this, discovered my boots leaked. Spent the day with soggy socks. Later that month, I headed up a fund raising project for the humane society, and then I got diagnosed with lupus. I'm going to have to start running around kicking old ladies in the shins or something. :D
 
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