Congratulations for making it through the police interview. Four hours would have been difficult even for a healthy person. Most likely your tears were a let down from the stress from the previous day.
The Cognitive Behavior Therapy sounds like a great idea. It helped a past co-worker of mine with his anxiety attacks. I hope your appointment goes well.
What a difficult interview that must have been for you. Its no wonder you were crying afterwards :hugbetter: No doubt there will be many other crying sessions so please dont be hard on yourself or be worried that you wont get through this okay. You will get through it Jen but right now it must seem completely overwhelming.
If there is one thing I have learned about hugely stressful situations in life (and I work on a daily basis with women in distress from drug use, abuse and generally very difficult lives) it is that what seems just too awful to cope with today will transform and become more manageable soon. Even in the worst of situations a week can make a huge difference in how they impact on us. I have learned, through my own experience of implementing CBT therapies, to change the immediate automatic thoughts into looking at what it will be like in, say, a week's time. This has helped me enormously.
CBT can be very useful in helping us deal with situations. Its very practical and you seem like a practical kind of gal It helps us look at things differently and helps one to change our reaction to situations. From that point of view it is very good in dealing with the psychological impacts of this disease. I would be really interested to hear how the therapies work in your situation. CBT is great for 'changing' things that we have control over. It seems to me that the one thing we have control over is how we react and deal with the effects of this disease. We cant always control the course of the disease but we can minimise the impact on us so that we can cope better mentally.
In the meantime Jen, be very gentle with yourself and be proud of what you have done. High five to you! :highfive:
Gosh, I would definitely have been a nervous wreck going through that police interview, and I mean pieces of me would have to have been picked up from the floor or plucked out of the ether.
I had to smile wryly at the familiarity of your wondering what you might have said as I have experienced that every time I have had to pronounce publically, fortunately not very often. After speaking at my brother's funeral (& almost fainting a couple of times during it) I was overcome with the thought I had talked gibberish and quite convinced that everybody was just being very kind in reassuring me I had spoken very finely.
Please, please be kinder and more forgiving of yourself. I am sure that CBT gives tools to deal with crises. I have often thought I would treat myself to some but have made do with reading books about it and benefited so much from the wisdom of combobulates like Joan and learnt from their example.
I don't know how much you can protect yourself from other people's litany of woes - so much depends on the circumstances but there is usually a way out of becoming over exposed un necessarily, even if it means a little white lie. Joan has a very nice maxim for dealing with some of these encounters although I have forgotten the exact words, or I think I have. It's something about not feeding into other people's distress. I realised I mustn't let myself feed into my own distress, although acknowledging it is very important. Crying is OK even a good wallow can be so therapeutic.
I know you are a very fine person and this b. disease has ravaged you in what has to be one of the worst of all ways. I wish we lived close enough to be friends and I could be some practical use to you.
I am sure the CBT will help you and glad you have the opportunity.
That saying you were referring to has stood me in good stead over the years. Its 'dont operate at the level of other people's distress'. It helps when I am in overwhelming situations to remind me that not all of the distress around me is mine. Not all of it is of my making. It helps me from having immediate, reactive responses and makes me take a bit of a breath first. Its amazing how much a little phrase has helped me over the years.
Worrying about embarrassing ourselves by saying something 'foolish' is very human and a natural response. But just put it behind you now Jen. Its over and done with. No point in beating yourself up. Truth be known, I bet you noticed more than anyone else As for listening to other people's trivial problems.... I have a little word I keep saying in my head when someone is really doing my head in with their incessant 'problems'. It always makes me smile inside. Its called Dilligaf. Its actually an acronynom and you might be able to figure it out. I cant say what it means here cos I will be banned for life but if you wanna know then just PM me....:wink2:
((((Flutter))))) Nothing in the world wrong with a good cry every now and then. And there's nothing wrong with you. You are a strong, good person -- I would be proud to call you my friend. If you're worried about the police, hun they have heard so much worse than anything you could have said. You did great just to survive four hours of interviewing without passing out.
I've never had CBT but wish I could. I think it's a great idea to take anything offered that can make life more comfortable and livable.
I wish I could help more than just giving you reassurance. If you lived close I would have you over for a cup of hot tea and a good talk with plenty of tissues on hand in case of tear leakage.
oh goodness, I had that happen to me once - I had been sitting in the 'holding pen' (acute assessment) for about three days waiting to be admitted to the ward - meanwhile they had been filling me up on 1000mg of solumedrol per day and in the end I just couldn't handle it anymore. Acute assessment is like a cross between a cattle yard and a trainstation, and it DEFINITELY never sleeps, never so much as a light turned off, it is a 24 hour gig.
So I have definitely been there done that, and know how truely miserable and LONELY it can be sitting in a hospital bawling. Just awful.
I hope things have settled down for you, and I totally support the use of the word 'nutcase'. I always describe myself as a part time nutter, it just fits the bill somehow.
As for CBT - best of luck with it all. I think we are all really individual in terms of what works for us, and I have got my fingers crossed that CBT does it for you.
A friend has been giving taped police evidence recently (last week) so I know from talking with her how harrowing that can be. No wonder it all caught up on you,