[Karin1]

Hi All

I left my job on a sick leave in October 2006, I spent 9 months in and out of bed trying to get this Lupus under control. I was newly diagnosed in June of 2006. I was so sick with that flare, I could not function at all. I worked for 9 years as a Medical Office Assistant for 4 doctors. The stress from one of the doctors drove me (I'm sure) into that long flare.

I went into what my doc called "remission" with not having anymore organ involvement in August 2007. I still suffer with Joint pains, extreme fatigue, and sores.

I decided to go back to work in November 2007 at a new clinic in town. I was doing ok, coming home very tired, but happy that I was no longer as sick as I was and wanted to contribute financially to our family income, and desperate to feel "normal again".

I soon found out that the original doc I worked for (the high stress doc) was joining the new clinic. I struggled with this knowing what he is like to work for, and also knowing what that stress did to my health. I gave my notice, and finished my last day of work this friday. I also struggled with brain fog and was worried how this was affecting my job.

Anyway, I now struggle with the fact that I will no longer be contributing financially to my family, but also knowing that (or feeling) that I will get sick again working for that man. I had to look after my own health first and foremost.

Am I crazy for assuming I'll get sick again, and quitting a good job? I'm really scared for my health, and worried that this will all happen again. I KNOW that no one will care that I'm ill, except ME and my family, so the decision has been made and I'm finished working. Ugh, did I make the right decision?

Call me crazy?

Karin

 

[sam101360]

Karin:

You are not crazy, second guessing yourself is adding stress you don't need to your life. You did what you felt was best for your health, how can that be wrong?

I "retired" from a career that I put 25 years into, it was what I thought defined me. I was successful and made a really great salary, my bosses loved me (I was at my last job for 2 1/2 years). When I got sick, it started very quickly and my job was very high stress with long hours, this was just making me sicker faster.

For the first year I felt so at odds with myself, I didn't feel I was contributing, I felt like a leech on my husband, I didn't want to spend money or do anything...as I felt I didn't give in how could I take out?

Now I have adjusted...I filed for SSDI, and am fighting the good fight, I cook, clean and do laundry when I am well enough, and don't do anything when I need to. We are more cautious with out money, but we are still OK. None of my fears came to pass. If they had, I guess I would have gone back to work at a less stressful job.

We all have to make decisions that we question, we wouldn't be human if we didn't. Just remember, you can always go back to work, if you feel that you should...

"when a door closes, someone opens a window" - unknown but very wise

Stephanie

 

[Primrose1960]

Hi Karin,

You know your body and mind better than anybody else, so you made the right decision to give up your job and get away from this toxic to your health person.

If you want to work you will find a more relaxing atmosphere to work in, maybe a complete change of career, the main thing is that you look after your health and be happy with your decision.

Take care,

Primrose:hug:

Take care

 

[Katharine]

Hi,

I have been in that stress situation twice. The first time I was in a job as an employee and as I bacame sicker I just couldn't cope at all. I eventually got out of that job and vowed never to go there again.

I became self-employed which worked much better. But, it mainly worked much better because I was in a remission period. When I did get ill again, I found that the person I had been was preventing anyone giving me the slack I needed. They were all used to super ethusiastic, motivated and hard working me. I could say "I can't do this" until I was blue in the face, they weren't getting it.

I am going back to work in a couple of weeks. Very strictly on a half time basis and the word "no" will be very present. I have already turned down several clients. Looking to the future, I'm looking at it as if I can never do those 5 days a week again, so I'm planning everything to work differently. I have no idea if it will work out financially but if it doesn't something else will come up.

Only you can say what you can handle and clearly you felt you couldn't handle that. We usually just don't listen to ourselves enough. Take it one day at a time and you'll see how things go and if you ever want to go back there or elsewhere.

Katharine

 

[Joandublin]

Dear Karin

You are most certainly not crazy. You must have felt like you were hit by a truck when you heard about this cretin joining your new clinic :worried:

Its such a shame that this man has entered your life again but it sounds like you did absolutely the right thing in avoiding him. While it is unfair and against the course of natural justice - at the end of the day you put your health first and thats the most important decision you made. You only get one life Karin and if this person is toxic to you, get away from him. Good for you!

I really hope you can get another job soon (if thats what you want). One where this idiot cant follow and one that is less demanding on you. I also wish a lifetime of severe knicker wedgies on this cretin :wink2: . That'll teach him!

Much love and strength
Joan:rose:

 

[LolaLola]

Not Crazy-Very Smart!
You come first so does your family. I hope you can sort out the finances.
x Lola

 

[Karin1]

Ohhhhhhhhh, thank you! You're ALL so RIGHT. I've said ALL those things to myself in my decision making process, but I also have had many thoughts that were much more negative. I KNOW deep down this whole situation would have made me sick again.

A Window will open.

Thanks again my dear friends!

((hugs))

Karin