[swish]

Let me tell you something about my moodswings since I almost died from SLE (2004/2005) and the years since then.

My temper and my spirits are like on a a rollercoaster ride.
:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:
I feel like I'm cyclothymic. (a less severe type of manic depression, moodswings that interfere with ones life)
I believe it relates to my SLE somewhat but I'm not sure how. I told my new rheumy doc and he said it's only natural and expected to be bummed out over this diagnosis, but it's more than that for me. I told him about me having this reoccuring thought that it would be better if I killed myself, but this made no impression on him. I have read that it's common that SLE patients commit suicide. I guess the state doesn't care if I live or die. :worried:
...Over here we have 'free' healthcare, it's just that the state healthcare only seems to have money for treating men and their diseases. And I can't afford private healthcare.

It's not all bad, half the time I convince myself I'm not that sick at all and start lots of things up, I'm in that mood now obviesly... Very social and active. :hehe:

Anyone out there also in the grip of their own moodswings?

 

[debatat]

Hi swish

met you in chatroom earlier, it was nice talking to you. It sounds as though you have been really suffering. I am sorry that you are having such a rough time. I think that it is normal when dealing with a chronic illness to deal with a rollercoaster of emotions. Yours does sound pretty sever though. I am sorry that you feel your rheum is so uncaring. Could you talk to your gp? Are your friends and family supportive? A good laugh with friends is so therapeutic.

On apositive note it is great that you have posted how you are feeling on this site, we are always here to listen if you want to vent etc. I am sure that someone will be along shortly to give you really great advice.

Until then I hope you feel better soon, take care

Deb

 

[Rose Maclean]

Rollercoaster

Hi Swish,

I am so sorry to hear that your mood swings are so bad. I have been having the same problem. How much is the disease and how much is dealing with a disease that will be with you every day for the rest of your life, I don't know. But i was told by my rheumy (who is very big into her research etc) that the mood swing effects, irritability etc is all related to Lupus. She feels that they are early CNS involvement. She prescribed me a drug (yes, I know, another drug!) called Cymbalta. Absolutely brilliant! It levelled my mind in 2 days and also has a pain relieving action.

best of luck

Rose

 

[swish]

Thanks!

:bow:Thank you Rose! :thumbs:

 

[LolaLola]

Hello Swish,
Although your Rheumy is correct that you can expect a degree of depression it does sound to me as if you are more up and down than most. What you say about starting lots of projects at the moment could be a type of hypomanic "up".

I feel you need some more specialised psychiatric or psychological evaluation. It may well be that your mood can be stabilised , you just haven't met the appropriate expert yet.

Good to meet you, and please don't think the world would be better without you.
x Lola

 

[peonyprincess]

Swish,

I am really sorry to hear that you are having a such a rough time of it right now. The fact that you have been diagnosed with a life changing illness is very overwhelming to someone who is not accustom to having limitations, and that is how I read you. Depression is very much linked to Lupus, again it changes alot of factors in ones life. It would be quite similiar to losing an arm or a leg. You are so mad at your body for failing you and no it isn't at all fair. I am sure that all of us at one time or another have dealt with these horrible moodswings. I admit, that I have. I have been on the brink of being considered suicial to the point of having a plan. When I finally realized what I was saying, I called my Rheumy and he immediately increased my Cymbalta to twice a day as well as pulled me into the office for a visit. We went over all of my meds and tweeked and adjusted and now, I'm doing much better. I still have my very blue almost black moments and yes I can say that I have found myself snapping at my family members when they really didn't deserve it, but they took it and they are fully aware of what I am dealing with and try their darndest to help me thru. You see, I was an ICU RN/Supervisor and was constantly on the go doing something. Along with that I was raising 4 kids after leaving a bad marriage in a strange town when my Lupus decided it was coming out of hibernation. My doc wouldn't let me return to work finally because he said that I cannot take more pills than I pass out and the patients might be concerned when they see their nurse carrying around an oxygen tank.......haha. I worked and studied long hours to have my career taken away from me. It was all very upsetting and yes I still have problems coping every now and again. And you know what, that makes me normal. I am not one to totally lay down and give up although I'm sure my family thought I had a time or too. I personally think that we are allowed a few days to wallow in a little self pity, it is only then that we get a clear picture of what we need to do to pull ourselves back up.

Talk to your doc about antidepressants and either changing, increasing, something. Don't just take it. Remember that you are a very important person in someones life.......YOURS......and you have to stand up for yourself because there isn't always someone around to do it for you. If you need pain meds, anxiety meds, whatever you think will make your life better. After all you are the one that has to walk in your shoes. Now, the goofiest thing you need to do is get on your computer and look up some songs from days, decades gone by, download them and sing away. You would be amazed at how much fun it can be and it takes away so much stress. get on youtube and watch videos of the kittens or puppies or stupid human tricks. See how many "old-time" commericals you can remember, keep a log of them and add to them whenever you remember a new one. Recruit a friend to assist you with this. Again, they are all dorky but they will lift your mood and will get you to thinking about something else and right now everyone needs a good distraction.


Good luck and come back and visit us,
Nancy