[Karly1964]

:rose3:I just wanted to take some small space to remember my aunt Lorraine who passed away, technically on Dec. 28th when life support was removed. She had an autoimmune disorder and had complications. I don't want to bum anyone out, but it seems like in my family we sort of talk of her occasionally, my neice Grace has her name for her middle name. But I just wanted to say she was an intelligent, creative writer and a strong woman, and she died too early at age 54 years and one day. I miss her when I see a cool new puzzle she'd like, as I watch her great neices and her grandchildren grow up not knowing her. I know now that her pain is over, that she knows how much we love and miss her.:worried:
Thanks for letting me use this space.

 

[peonyprincess]

Karly,

I am so sorry to hear about the passing of your aunt. I could tell you that at least she is not in any more pain but that seems rather cruel. My aunt passed away earlier this year from cancer. Last Christmas was her last. I haven't heard my family say any prayers towards her or anything. This Christmas, I really thought that something would be said in her memory but there wasn't. I wish there was something anything but no. What did happen, everyone got together along with my uncle's new girlfriend and for my parents and other aunts and uncles, it was like this was the way it had been for years. My cousins and their older children joined in the celebration as the year was toasted, etc. It was totally inappropriate, to me. I have no problem with my uncle seeing someone. That's not it. It is the way that , well, it is hard to explain.

Anyway, I miss hearing my aunts laugh. It started out more like a little girl giggle before she would hit those loud laughs. Her eyes jumped around like firecrackers and her personality was just as jovial. Not to say that she didn't have her moments when she would get furious or even just a little mad, but for the most part, she would go and go and ignore the pain. She fought hard for her two boys and husband thru good times and bad.

Thank you for posting this and allowing me to vent. I understand your feelings completely. I also understand that there is no more pain, tests, and the likes and that things are better know I just wanted to wish you well and better times to come.

 

[Pink Pearl]

Peony,
I am very sorry your family did not acknowledge your aunt in any way. It may have been your uncle and his new girlfriend had said that it made the gf uncomfortable with memories of your aunt brought up. They may have over compensated in the area of omission.

Many people are not as comfortable talking about loved ones who have died, as some of us who deal with our own mortality every day. I know this is true in my own family. My parents are not nearly as able to deal with death as I am. I am one year older than your aunt.

Perhaps you could talk to your own parents about how you felt by omitting your aunt from any topic. It may open doors for your own family to discuss death and how it makes them feel to remember the dead at things like family celebrations and holidays. Depending on your family, this can be a good thing or opening uncomfortable feelings.

Which ever your family is, you at least know that you feel that it is important to remember our loved ones. You will bring this to your own life and your children or other nieces or nephews. Share it with them, memories are an important thing to have. If we never share our traditions and history, our children don't know where their history comes from.
Sally