Hello Lucie,
Please don't do that.Ring G.p and tell him/her how you feel they should be able to give you better pain control and you need support,now.I don't know where you are,but if in the Uk you could ring the samaritans to offload...it may help.
Life is so short and although you may feel you are wasting it when in so much pain it does not mean it will always be like that.Don't give up.Get support from this site,rant,scream,cry but don't end it because everyone has something to live for,even if you don't feel that way at the moment,
Julsie:hug: