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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Excerpts from a dog's diary:

6:00 am - At last! I go pee! My favourite thing!
8:00 am - Dog food! My favourite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favourite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favourite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favourite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favourite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favourite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favourite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favourite thing!
6:00 pm - They're home! My favourite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favourite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favourite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favourite thing!

Excerpts from a cat's diary:

Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.

In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Yesterday I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a"good little hunter" I am.

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird has got to be an informant, as I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now.


Pam xxx

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151 Posts
Ha ha ha!

Hi Pam. I havn't been feeling very communicative the last couple of days... reading your post this morning gave me such a good laugh. You know, the kind of laugh that comes from the tummy!

Such fitting descriptions of both wonderful creatures. Thank you, have a fab day!

X T X :)

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388 Posts
I think that is pretty accurate. We have 2 cats-one who is always trying to escape. Now we have 2 dogs and both are happy campers.

I needed the laugh so thanks!!!:rotfl:


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6,939 Posts
I loved that though I think Glen would disagree with that description. It makes him sound like Odie, Garfield's companion :)

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What a giggle... and so true

I have one cat that likes to escape and the other takes over the bed and vomits on the carpet :lol: . My husband as been away for a week and rather than sprawl out on the other side of the bed she clung to me and lay in the crook of my legs so I couldn't move... obviously being punished for being her captor!:rotfl:

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