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274 Posts name is Nancy, the one with Lupus. That is how my mother introduces me. Normally the last part is in a hushed tone as if I have some contagious disease. Geezzzzz!!!!! I am Nancy, the one with Lupus, the mother of four, the wife to Jeff aka Erkel, a "retired" RN and the list goes on. I am always introduced with some kind of a tag. I am also tired of that. Last I looked on my drivers license it just said Nancy Diane Sommerville. I am tired of being defined by all of the additional titles people give me.

I am also tired, life you of anything that may be amiss with my health, my attitude, etc being blamed on Lupus. If I am grumpy, it is the Lupus, if I forget something, it is because of the Lupus, this list is endless. I am also tired of being excluded because I have Lupus. I have heard, "we didn't invited you to the evening party because you have Lupus and I figured that you would be too tired". I have heard, "we didn't invite you to the party because there was going to be alcohol and you have Lupus'. Again, the list is endless.

While I can deal with the stupidity of how the disease effects me and that sometimes people do not understand the process, it is the fact that I have been excluded from participating . It very much h urts my feelings that I might have been considered a hinderence as opposed to a benefit or a lovely addition. Maybe one day they will get it, but I am not holding my breath.

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