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thinking of having a family but not sure how i will cope with a pregnancy and bringing up a child. What if i cant cope? Have any of you got some advice for me. it is really playing onmy mind recently.

Nadia
 

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Nadia.. not sure if you mean with feeling ill with Lupus or just generally..must admit these thoughts crossed my mind as a younger woman (now an elderly 45!) even when I was fit and well! I don't have experience with bringing up children whilst I have lupus, but any bringing up of children is challenging whilst trying to cope with everyday life etc. I have two girls 16 and 20, and when they were young I had overwhelming feelings at times of how was I going to 'do this' for what seemed ever! With lupus you need to get some advice from your Rheumy and make sure you are prepared as poss, discuss the possible effects on your body etc etc and then you will have to cross the bridges as they turn up, you can't waste too much energy on worry. Life is problem solving most of the time and having children is no exception. Sorry to waffle but wanted to reply to your post... take care and don't worry..:)
Claire X
 

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Nadia

well I have 5 but I didnt have SLE then. it is hard work but soooo worth it.

Children seem to know when u r ill I just had mine do quiet stuff and TV oops well its a good babysitter at times.

Get family and friends to help out.

Perhaps u might b in remission when u have u children.

Talk it over with u rheumy

Good luck keep well

dixy
 

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Nadia,

I would obviously listen to all the medical advice, but the decision will be yours and your partners and not that of the medical proffession. The medical proffession should be there to support you whatever your descision.

'Where there a will, there's a way' - remember that! Life is for living and following our dreams despite having Lupus or any other chronic illness or dissability. Live your life for you and not for Lupus.

Many people without chronic illness and dissabilities can't cope with having children let alone looking after themselves, just as many can do it all. Having Lupus should really not impinge on your life long dreams, adaption is the key!

I have 4 kids, all before being diagnosed, my pregancies were awful to the point of hospitlization and life was and is hard at times. Now I have Lupus and still have my kids and husband and would not change anything for the world. I hope to think that if I'd been diagnosed first with Lupus that I would still have choosen the same route and had my kids. My life is for living and having fun as it will only happen the once to my knowledge. If I have to have meds to help me maintain a good quaility of life to enjoy this time on the planet and with kids and family then so be it!

Strive for what you want and be happy whatever descision you make!
 

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Definitely discuss your lupus and a possible pregnancy with your doctors, but realize that the decision is ultimately up to you. Medications may need to be changed, but many medications you can safely continue to take while pregnant including Plaquenil, prednisone, and Imuran among others.

I had been diagnosed for about 2 years when I decided to get pregnant. For me, pregnancy put my lupus into remission & I felt completely healthy/normal during pregnancy (aside from the typical pregnancy symptoms that most women get at least!). Lupus tends to stay the same for 33% of lupus sufferers during pregnancy, while another 33% get an improvement while pregnant and the last 33% will get worse while pregnant. There's no way to know which camp you'll be in before hand unfortunately....

I did flare a few months after pregnancy but managed to keep on working for a while. My husband is a great help to me, both around the house and with the baby (now a preschooler). Knowing that would be the case helped me in my decision.

You will manage to find a way to make things work if you decide to have children... where there is a will there is a way ;) Good luck to you whatever you decide is best for you!
 

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I agree with the others in that where there is a will there is a way to do it.

I was dx with Lupus last year but I can tell you that 18 years ago I gave birth to my son and raised him alone for the first 8 years of his life. Easy, NOPE but I did it and hind sight being 20-20 I was sick with health issues then but did not have a diagnosis.

Talk with your doctors, your partner and go from there. You will know what is best for you once you weigh the pros and cons.

Good luck in your decision and let us know how you get along moving forward.
 
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