[granny weatherwax]

Every autumn in Somerset we have carnivals, which start now and go through to mid November and we (St John Ambulance) provide first aid cover.

Since my diagnosis and because I am not "ambulance trained" I am unable to do this duty as an active first aider. Because of this I chose to help out in the control unit for the last couple of years so that those who are ambulance trained can go out and do what they are trained to do.... made sense to me and made me feel helpful.

This year they have a new officer for communications and it looks like I am now redundant :worried:. They appear to be using people this year who should be out in vehicles treating people when needed. So I am now stuck at home feeling rather useless and I suppose unwanted, whilst my husband and our friend are out and about.

Sorry to winge guys but does anyone else feel like this??

Claire xx

 

[Katharine]

Hi Claire :hug:

I'd say many of us feel like this from time to time. There are so many things that I used to do and now can't and sometimes I "feel" it a lot.

I go to dog training but every time there's an event where normally everyone mucks in, I feel awful about not putting my hand up. When I still used to go and watch aikido (hoping one day I'd be able to get back to it) I had this mad urge to get up there on the tatami and actually DO something. I haven't helped anyone with riding for a while but the last time I did, I found it so frustrating that I could no longer get up on the horse and show them that what I was saying was truly possible. When my cleaning lady comes every Monday, I feel awful almost sat there watching her do things that I feel I should be able to to... the list goes on.

Sorry I can't help there but I can send lots of hugs and chocolate :grhug:

Katharine

 

[granny weatherwax]

Thanks Katherine... I just feel I've been put out to pasture before my time. Radio control is the one and only place I feel I can contribute as it does't involve sitting (or rather standing) out in the cold and having to walk miles or rush off to a casualty... I felt useful if only for a while. I offered again this year and appear to have been pushed aside even though I explained (sort of) why.

Claire xx

 

[Katharine]

I have found that sometimes I have to actually dare explain more than "sort of" why. I used to always keep my problems and illness to myself but I also found that that excludes us at times. For example I hadn't been to my kids school plays for two years as they are held in a hall that always has far too few seats for the number of parents and many of those are tiny, low gym benches. I couldn't stand the pain and certainly couldn't stand up like many do so I ended up not going.

One day, when talking to the head about something else, this came up and he said "Well why on earth didn't you say and we'd have reserved you a seat?" - It might sound simple but the idea of preferential treatment never entered my head.

I still don't like playing that preferential treatment card but it has honestly made a difference and because some people now know about my illness, they offer to help and make things easier - it has brought back a great deal of my social life.

:hug:

Katharine

 

[granny weatherwax]

I think because I usually hit a brick wall when I say Lupus I find sometimes it's just easier to keep my mouth shut... but I am learning that this is not always the brightest thing to do.... I don't like playing the lupus card so to speak unless I feel I really have to.. and just recently with all the house sale I have started to tell them that all this stress is starting to make me poorly and the last thing I need is a flare to put me in hospital.... to be honest I may as well have run into a brick wall head first for all the good it did me, ah well I think it is about time I did some fundraising and hopefully some awareness raising!

Claire