[Karly1964]

:hissy: :screamin: This former therapist of mine has been writing emails continually bringing up the puppy, either why I didn't keep him, why the breeder sucked (she chose her), and she keeps telling me I am overreacting to the whole situation. I tell her to let it go and she keeps bringing it up over and over. Then when I say something about it she says it is not all about me. She says she is my friend and is only pointing out a habit that she feels I have of over reacting to stressful things. She will not let it alone. I just would like her to leave me alone and not talk about it anymore, yet she brings it up again and again. She thinks I should spend a lot of time analyzing why I reacted with so much stress to the puppy. I think I have thought enough about it and want to let it all slip away into the past. Sorry I just had to whine a bit, I am going to write her an email and ask her to leave me alone. Karly

 

[Lily]

:hissy:

I think the therapist needs therapy!! Well you did say former therapist I can see why it's former

I agree tell her to stop bothering you!

It's a healthy sign you feel like this Karly:

I think I have thought enough about it and want to let it all slip away into the past.

It's an unhealthy sign of her mental status that she feels she needs to keep on and on about this to you. She also demonstrates just how little she understands your physical health, which is not a good starting point for any friend of a lupus sufferer. (((((((Karly)))))))))

love
Lily

 

[Katharine]

Hello there

I think Lily is quite right. She sounds rather in need of therapy herself.

We all have difficult decisions to make in our lives at times and it seems that you are handling yours as well as you can - You certainly don't need someone going on an on about it.

I tend to be very blunt and brutal (haha, anyone recognise me here? :rotfl: ) and I would not even bother answering such mails. Just bin them right from the start. If actually receiving them and reading them bothers you then there is an option in your mail box for "undesirable" mail (I'm translating here, I haven't a clue what the option is called in English) which will block mail from a particular person and send it straight to another folder. It stops people wasting time on certain mails. I have had to do it for certain of my ex's friends who used to send jokes about ten times a day. His old mail address was linked to mine. My mail address is professional so getting so much junk mail was an awful waste of time.

If you value her friendship outside of such things then maybe warn her that if she doesn't leave it alone you will not answer her mails or wish to speak to her.

OK, those are my hyper direct solutions! They may well not suit you but I tend to think that we don't really need such demanding and exhausting friends.

:hug:
Katharine

 

[Clare.T]

Oh my goodness me ! This person is Walking Talking Toxicity and you need her like a hole in the head and one in each foot. You already know it of course so give yourself permission to " overreact" again !
I think you have dealt most honourably making a mature and very painful decision for Keegan's sake and your own. Kudos to you and hugs ((( Karly)))

I agree with Katharine about binning her - an awful thing to say about another human being I know, but sometimes your own Self has to come first or you risk your own integrity, emotional and physical wellbeing.
You have enough challenges without allowing your Self to be dragged into this woman's crazed world.
My experience is that it will get worse and worse until you have to take drastic action against the grain of your usual kind and polite inclinations. So sooner, as in right now, rather than later.

By the way, I am always suspect of people who claim virtues for themselves They are usually the opposite of what they claim. In this case her saying she is your friend. No friend ever behaves like this.
Ugh,my skin crawls just thinking about it. Most unprofessional too.

Now that's a thought - why not report her to her professional organisation.

All the best
Clare

 

[Taree]

Hi Karly

Shame, people like that need to bring others down in order to boost their own poor self-esteem and get attention. Not responding takes away their "so-called power". It's just a pity we have no way of warning their next victim!

Friends offer love and support, they don't tear you apart when you're down!

X T X

 

[neongirl]

Karly,
I second all of the above! I would like to add that this woman seems like a total drama queen, which could be why she was attracted to her profession to begin with !?! She is the one who is overeacting here, not you.......she is just projecting her own actions/emotions on to you because she needs a drama fix I say you cut all ties with her and send her into "drama withdrawal":lol:

 

[Raglet]

why are you having contact with an ex therapist at all ? Ethically it is very dodgy to become 'friends' with ex clients as the power differential is always there, so I find it pretty weird that you are communicating at all.

Do you actually want to continue this relationship ? Sounds like hard work to me.

hth

raglet

 

[Joandublin]

Hi Karly

Raglet has a point. However, as the power differential seems to be in your ex therapists favour, I can understand why you havent felt able to cut off communications before now. Its easier said than done.

But well done you for making the decision to end the relationship!

Onwards and upwards Karly!

Luv n stuff
Joan:rose:

 

[hardcandy]

I agree that's it seems inappropriate for her to be even contacting you. Does she have a private practice, or is there a supervisor you can contact re this situation? It sounds like she's being extremely unprofessional. I had a similar experience with a therapist, one who didn't believe in my lupus and felt I had a problem with "medical-seeking behavior." I stopped seeing her because she wasn't a doctor and I felt that she crossed the line by trying to get me to see how it was all in my head. Still, she continued to contact me. I talked to her at first, and met with her a few times, but I never got anywhere, and ended up speaking with her supervisor. He wasn't all that helpful (since he only knew what she had told him), but just being able to express myself and say "this isn't right," that made a big difference for me, and gave me a bit of resolution.

No means no! You're taking care of yourself by setting boundaries, which this therapist is trying to cross and, worse yet, outside of the therapy setting!

 

[Karly1964]

She's no longer in practice!

:wink2: Thank goodness she is no longer in practice, she is now believe it or not a chaplain in a prison. She has a doctorate in divinity, which baffles me how she could be so judgemental and harsh. Believe it or not she just sent me an email telling me about all these herbs and concoctions that supposidly "cure" lupus. No personal message or anything just all that info which I really have no use for. Better I just stay away from her. Karly Thanks for your support

 

[raggedyann1]

Karly,

Please block her email address, that way you don't have to decide to just delete her messages or respond to them or anything. How you block depends on what email program you use. Click on the "help" button if you don't know how to block and the program will give you step by step instructions. That is what I had to do with someone, not an ex-therapist, who was emotionally unhealthy for me.

Take care,
karen