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florie
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589 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
Hello all,

It's really something how life can be good one day and then turn on you. GRRRR.. any way I had a lovely weekend last week with birthday parties and grandchildren. Well this weekend was awful for me. My mom was not feeling well suddenly and I had to call 911. She has COPD. She went in on saturday and looks like tomorrow she will be coming home. I am really upset on how quickly one can turn for the worst. She was actually turning blue when the paramedics arrive. I was in tears and was loosing it. She ended up having an infection(broncitis). Now she has to wear the oxygen mask at night while she sleeps or she can die in her sleep. It pushes air in the lungs.
Strange how just last Monday i took her to the doctor and everything was fine. I have many appts for myself and have to leave her home alone. So i am now looking into Amkerican Medical Alarms. It's the device you wear as a necklace or bracelet and if something happens she can get help.

Does anyone here have it? I have read some info on it's website and it sounds good.
My mom's health is in it's last stages of COPD. She can die of a heart attack ,or kidney failure just as lupus does to one.

I am so thankful that my fianc'e helps me out with her condition. But even he as a strong minded person get's frustrated at times and nervous when she goes down hill. He worries about me getting sick over it emotionally and physically. So i am my mom's care taker,and my fianc'e is my care taker.

I am very tired from the hospital visits and the worry of what's ahead. I try to take one day at a time but it's not that simple to do.
I am going to take a nap now and try to get back to you all later.

luv, florie
 

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I can only be myself
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317 Posts
I'm from the Uk, but we had a similar thing for my mum. It was a button on a bracelet so if she was in trouble she could press it and it'd phone straight through to the emergency services. There was a loud speaker connected to it, so wherever she was in the house they could hear her and she could hear them. I believe it was also connected to phone my dad's mobile so he also knew what was going on. Dad said it was well worth the money he was paying for it, although thankfully she never needed to use it, just for the peace of mind.
 

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Registered
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7,800 Posts
Hi Florie,

I'm sorry to hear that your Mum is so unwell. Such things are very worrying. My Dad had COPD but it was combined with so many other things that it's not really comparable. I agree that the only thing we can do is take one day at a time and be there for the person as much as we can (without making yourself ill or feeling guilty for what you can't do). The medical alarm sounds like a good idea and very reassuring.

love and hugs,
Katharine
 

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florie
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589 Posts
Discussion Starter #4
Kathrine and hattycat,
thank you for your reply's.

I called the medical alarm co. today. More complications. We have to be hooked up to a regular phone company. We recently changed and went to coomcast cable for everything. They say you can't have call waiting nor cable. So now we may have to look into going back to Embark phone co. for this device.

I am so tense that my neck is hurting me so much and my throat hurts,even when i swollow my food.

The company said it's only $24.95 per month and the lock box for the front door is a free gift. The code will only be given to paramedics to get in while i am not home. But they will also call my cell phone to notify me.
Not sure if mom is coming home tomorrow for sure,have to wait till morning after the doctor's see her. Mom is always on prednisone for the lung inflamation that she has the moon face and hump back. Plus all her med's she uses have steroids in them to keep the lungs open for airway. She will have to wear the mask every night and be on a salt free diet. She loves salty foods and this can make her go into cardiac arrest. Have you ever heard that predisone use can also make you a diabetic? Or did i misunderstand something.
Well i am going to lay in bed and watch some T.V.

Thanks again for your post. Florie
 

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Hi Florie,
I am sorry you are feeling worn down and your mom is ill. COPD and other lung issues can come on very fast.
Two weeks ago, I was fine on Sunday, Monday, thought the trees were blooming and their pollen bothering me. I took a few extra otc allergy meds.....done this before with ok from my pulm doc. By Wednesday I was dealing with a lung infection. Fortunately, I have gone thru similar issues and so my doc called in antibiotics. After a week, I am fine..... Lungs can go south very quickly on us.

Steroids slow down our body absorption of the food we eat, so only about 1/2 is burned off, the rest can go to fat. That is why we gain weight so easily. The drug makes you ravenous, and yet you should only eat about 1/2 of what we normally do. Fat city here we come!

The CPAP [continuous positive airway pressure] that your mom now needs to use, has a good history and people do well on them for the most part.

"Lifeline" is the company used here for situations like your mom's.
Hopefully you will be able to work out what company and service will work best for you and your mom. Good luck there.
Sally
 

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Hello Florie,
You did understand correctly that there can be steroid induced diabetes. I am sure your Mum will be on as little steroid as possible though and I really hope she will be okay.

You have had a real scare, is there any chance of a couple of hours to yourself for a good bath or a massage to help your poor neck?

As well as being a sick person yourself you are also a Carer, and that is a lot to do. Many people find Caring hard enough without the extra worries and disadvantages you have.

I can't make it better for you, but I do care about it and think you are doing a good job.
x Lola
 

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The Other Illinois Tammy
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1,193 Posts
florie,
I am sorry for the problems you are having right now. My parents had the med alert divices your speaking of and they are good. I would also advise you the check into getting into a program like help at home so some of the stress is releaved for all of you. This is when someone comes into the home and can sit with you or your mom. They can also help with household choires, shopping, and even laundry. I know most of your focus is on your mom's care I have been there and the worry that comes with always wanting to be there for her. I hope I gave you some other ideas to check into and maybe some help with easing your mind during your dr visits, that someone is watching out for her. Oh in some programs it can be another family member, friend, or neighbor that can do the watching. Best of luck to you and let us know how it is going please. I am here if you need to talk florie.
 

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florie
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589 Posts
Discussion Starter #8
Hi all,
Well mom is home today. Getting adjusted again. She is a very anxious person and it makes me anxious.

I cried all morning before i went to get her with my fianc'e. She is besides COPD,cardiac patient now. I called her nurse and she is coming tomorrow to see her and sort out her pills for me.
I spoke with mom about medic alert. But she is stubburn and doesn't want it. So i got all upset and frustrated with that. I have alot of stress from all this. And thankyou Lola for saying i am doing a good job.That made me feel good.
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=Onetay -I do have someone to stay with mom when i have plans away for a ood while,which i haven't done in a while. I have no relatives or family that lives here. The thing that upsets me most is how she can make life easier for peace of mind with medic alert and she won't get it. Why can't she at least do it for me. Instead she would rather my friend come and sit with her and pay her which would not do me any good. My friend has no phone,no transportation and it would be an inconvience for me to go get her every time i have to do something. Then bring her home too.And mom says to make me feel better instead of admitting that she is afraid to be alone. Well now i am just going to do my thing when i have to and give her a feel of how more secure she would feel if she had medic alert.

I tried to impress mom before she came home and put on a new bedsheets,comforter and bed ruffle. I wore my back brace but pulled my back and my neck doing this. So now my chiro is away and will be back on thursday. He wants me in @7:45 thursday morning. His office opens at 8:00am and he is booked.But he is coming in early just for me.

I don't know what else to say about all this , EXCEPT thank you all my friends for your understanding, listening and helping me out in this crisis.
So i have to just do the best i can for mom, and do even more for myself so i don't lose my mind,or my life. Mom is 74, i am 52 but she makes me feel like a little girl. I have to get control of myself in this situation.
Hugs to all of you, Florie
 

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The Other Illinois Tammy
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1,193 Posts
florie,
I do understand what you are going through and you are doing a wonderful job not just good. I sat my mom down and told her that she was getting the life alert for my peace of mind. I wanted to know if something happened to her. She did fight me at first but when I told her that we were doing it for me, her, my dad, and her grandkids that should not worry about their grandma every minute of the day. She started to cry and I just told her it is because we love you not because we want to limit what you are doing or limit your independence. After awhile she found out that if she wanted to take a short walk she did not need to check in with me she had the button if she needed help and I was her call person so I would be there in minutes. Sometimes it takes us just doing what is best for them. You are right you need to lessen your stress and she has to understand that. We will always be their children and they will always see us as children. Sometimes it is the truth that makes the most sense to them. If you get too sick she will have an assisted living home facing her and not you. I can tell that you love your mom very very much and that this is very hard on you so you have to do what is best for all of you not just what she wants to do unfortunately. Good Luck with the mom that wants you to still be her child lol .
 

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florie
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589 Posts
Discussion Starter #10
Oh Tammy, You are so understanding and sweet.
Everything you said is right. I will give her some time before i get into it again. This morning i made her breakfast,helped her with her shower stuff,washed all the clothes,and made her bed. Ijust now finished browning a brisket for dinner and putting it in the slow cooker.

Yes i do love my mom,but at times i get so frustrated with the way she thinks. Then later on i think about it and laugh at the comedy of it. :lol:

what you said is so true about me being a little girl to her. Because it made me think how I am with my children and they too are grown. I guess no matter how old they are they will always be my little ones even when they are 65. :lol:

Thank you again sweet Tammy. Sometimes when one is in distress it takes someone else's experience to be explained and realize this is okay I am not the only one. I feel so much better now.
Hugs and more hugs to you. Florie
 
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