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i'm new to this site, but definately not new to lupus. lately i've been feeling worse than i ever have and it's got me OOBER depressed. i'm a very private person so a lot of my friends don't even know i have lupus and the ones that do don't know how bad it is. i feel like i'm getting to the point where i just WANNA die and that scares the living crap out of me. anybody have any advice? i'm sick of crying in the dark............
 

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You've taken a good first step by coming here - there is a lot of information and support and empathy. Many good ideas too, and many (((hugs))).

As for what to do... try to let your doctor know how bad you are feeling. Physically and mentally. Long lasting physical pain would get anyone down, and the worries and stress of living with lupus and all the unknowns can contribute. Lupus itself can affect the brain causing depression or increased tendency to worry, etc.

It is possible that medications for lupus can be adjusted or changed and this will help reduce the lupus specific issues. Counseling or medication for depression can help too since it does sound like depression may be setting in as well. I personally LOVE cognitive behavioral therapy - helps with learning how to live with a chronic illness in the best way possible. Heck, it would help **anyone** live the best life possible! Many people here find antidepressant medication very helpful.

Let me know if you have any more specific concerns, and I'll try to offer up something else. Hang in there - you've dealt with this a long time. You've had better times in the past than now - and they'll come again. One last tip, is I always make sure to do something each week that I really enjoy and really want to do. Whatever that is. Sometimes it's laying in bed watching a movie with hubby. Sometimes it's going out to eat, or out to a movie. Sometimes it's visiting horses, or getting my nails done. Maybe just a bubble bath, etc. Try to do somethings each week that you LOVE and appreciate each moment of doing that thing.

Take care...
 

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Hello and welcome!

I'm so glad you have come and joined us here as I can really identify with what you're saying about being a private person and that can make lupus a very lonely affair.

I must admit that I actually get all my support (except the wonderful unquestionning support from my hubby) here on this site. Around where I live there are definitely no support groups and no-one has ever heard of lupus.

Maia has given you good advice concerning depression and you feeling so down right now. I think it is also very important to make sure the docs know exactly how we are feeling. Many of us tend to sort of put up with feeling bad and being in pain as we get used to thinking that nothing can be done to improve things.

Often I find that explaining to a doc exactly what I can't do due to pain or another symptom seems to make the symptom more important to the doc and he/she will then act on it more. I think that most of us need to learn to complain a lot more. It is also quite common to need medication to be adjusted after a while as it can become less effective and need changing slightly.

sending loads of positive thoughts and hugs winging your way,
Katharine
 
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