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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I find that anytime I have a stressful situation that my pain increases or new pains develop. There is no way to avoid all stressful situations, so how do you deal with it so that it doesn't render you in pains?
 

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Hi Lisa,

It is sad that we can not avoid all stressful situations. I too had issues with stress. I have let go of all stressful situations in my life as much as i can. Job, X-husband, kids in college instead of home etc.

But there will always be something stressful. Even the lady at the checkout counter who wants to give you a heard time when you give them a discount card. Or the long lines at the gas station. I don't hold much in. I now let how I am feeling known to those who come to me baring stress.

People say exercise and stretching can help you great deal with stress. I exercise and i have to say it does help..it conditions your body to handle stress better. But it doesn't rid the problem completely.

One thing i have learned to do and practice more eash day, is,, letting go of the situation. If i'm in a long line and there is nothing i can do about it,, i change my thoughts to something more pleasant. Did you know the car traffic has a sound of the ocean water??

If a situation comes about the, first thing i tell myself is calm down. Most people would not know i'm having a panic attack or about to fall apart because i don't show it. Once i start expressing stress, it comes to haunt me. So I tell myself to stay calm. I can do only what i can and the rest is not in my control,, so i let it go.

If I have a lot to do one day and i know i'm feeling lupie then i just take my time and get things done when they get done. I don't worry about the rest. I cant over extend myself and expect to be up to par the next day. Lupus doesn't work that way.
Sometimes i just have to stop.........re-evaluate the situation, compare it to how i am feeling. Sometimes i just have too stop and do something that makes me feel good something that makes me relax. If that means, sitting down for a cup of coffee in the middle of cleaning, then so be it.

If i dont feel like doing the bills that day,, i don't. If i'm tired,, i rest,,, if it takes me all day to get it together then so be it.

Even when my husband or family ask me to do something. I tell them it will all depend of how i feel that day. Nothing to do with what i want,, but what my body says it can do. After a while they understand that.

Its a conscious effort to stop and reevaluate your feelings and the condition of your body. Once you know that fact, you can make better decisions .

I hope this has helped you.

Take Care
 

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Hi Lisa,

During stressful times I used to clean. The house would be spotless. Now that would only make matters worse so I use deep breathing. I lay flat on my back and slowly breathe in and out, thinking only about the breathing. It doesn't take long and my body is relaxed and I find my mind drifting to all sorts of pleasant memories. After about 5 minutes I feel as refreshed as if I had taken a nap.

Take care,
Lazylegs
 

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Hey Lisa,

Each person copes differently with stressful situations I think. Personally if I'm under a lot of stress, I like to cook while listening to very loud music and singing and dancing to the tunes! Might sound silly, but I find the cooking and music combo really helps me relax most of the time. Another thing I like to do when stress is watch nice movies and old "Friends" re-runs on my laptop whilst having crisps and ice-cream!

There are so many things one can do deal with stress; reading a book, going for a walk, doing yoga, praying or meditating, taking a bubble bath, sleeping, exercising...they can all be potentially helpful.

You just have to find what works best for you! :)

:flowery:

Zoi
 

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I tend toward distractions when I'm in an overall stressful situation: going out to movies, walking the dog, watching TV at home, playing with my daughter. I also really believe in the benefits of yoga - I do some poses at home with just a video tape but hope to someday actually attend a class. I like remembering the good times, the laughs shared with friends and family, looking at old photos, etc. Anything that reminds me of the good times or lets me look forward to good times again!

Another trick for me is to turn a stressful situation into a funny one - kinda imagine how this could be made funny on Saturday night live or some sitcom show like Seinfeld. I remember one day when I was pretty poor and was taking out my last $50 out of an ATM when it sucked it back in the machine because I was too slow grabbing for it. Then it wouldn't let me get the money again and I had to wait over 3 days to get the money back as it was the weekend, bank was closed, then they had to verify I hadn't actually gotten the money somehow. I was upset at first, and then laughed nearly immediately at the situation because it really was a Seinfeld moment as I like to call them ;)

Hope it all works out with the house purchase. This should be a good time to buy!
 

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Hi All
I think this is a serious subject and the connection between stress and the immune system is well documented.

Personally I doubt if getting angry because somebody cuts you up on the moterway will cause you to flare. However the accumulative effects of chronic anger can't be good.

I had (am still having really) a stressful time worrying about my boys and my elderly aunt who has vascular dementia and is nearing the time when she can no longer manage in her little warden-controlled flat. She only manages now because of my and my hubbies input.
This chronic stress does make me feel worse especially when it builds up. My foggy head gets dense and I need to sleep more.
I used to love yoga and also did a Body Balance class which was wonderful, but I can no longer do many of the poses since I can't take any weight on my hands or wrists so I dropped out.
Maia I may get a dvd so that i can choose which poses I can do in my own time.
Any other suggestions apart from tipping boys out into the street and dispatching auntie to rest home would be welcome.;):)
 

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I too try to distract myself, usually for me doing a little task or a bit of beading for five minutes helps, a bubble bath with smellies if I need pampering, oh and I am a loud music listener too!

These days as well I really try to 'not sweat the small stuff', and I do find that I think "is this really important to stress over," and a lot of stuff isn't that maybe I would have previously found before would be stressfull.

I personally believe that a certain amount of 'stress' is a good thing, I like the day to day stuff, work, kids, bills, living itself is a bit of a stessor isn't it?!

The hard stuff to deal with for me is the really big stressfull stuff, the stuff that you can't do anything about and rollers on relentlessly, that sort of stress I kind of think might be helped with some sort of proffessional input.

Best wishes, and hoping for stress free days xx
 

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How do you deal with stressful situations?
Duck and run seems to be suiting me quite well at the moment.

hope things get better for you soon

regards

raglet
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
I am still working on buying this house and the home inspection brought up some concerns that I am trying to work out with the seller, but the deal may fall through if we can't work it out. It is very stressful buying a house, but this is something I have wanted for a while. I have been living with my parents since June and they are becoming my biggest stressors...especially now with this house. They have opinions about everything, want to know everything, and have no faith in me that I can actually take care of things all on my own. I have lived on my own before, I am an adult and I am not stupid. My costo pain increases with my stress as well as skin ulcers, I get very tired and my eyes get so dry they hurt. I really hope this house goes through so that I can be by myself. I really don't want to rent something, but if this doesn't go through I might have to.
 

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Dear Lisa

I sincerely hope that you can work the issues out with the seller. You sure sound like you can sort things out for yourself. :)

Its the 'lot' of parents to worry! Lets hope you can move out before you end up wanting to strangle each other (methaphorically of course:wink2:)

Hang in there!

Luv n stuff
Joan:rose:
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
Well, the house situation should be taken care of on Friday and I will know whether or not the purchase went through. This has been extremely stressful for me. My chest pain reacts to it as well as being mentally exhausted with dry, hot, red eyes. The change in weather is not a help either. Today, I just got totally frustrated with the whole situation and I sat down and wrote a 2 page letter for my attorney to send to the sellers attorney, the sellers realtor, my realtor and the broker. I felt like too many people were having on the side conversations and no one knew what was going on. I just told my perspective, intentions and frustrations straight up. I figured what do I have to lose, we were at a standstill of either neither party willing to budge or they were just trying to call my bluff...who knows. This has been going on for a month now and I do hope that I get the house, I really do.
 

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Lisa,

I hope for your sake you get the house too. I am not sure how I missed this post earlier. As for me and how I handle stress, honestly I have adopted a new attitude.

"If you can't control it then don't worry about it"! It has helped me a lot.

Keep us posted with the house and good luck.:wink2:
 

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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
HI Everyone,

I have good news, the house deal went through, the appraisal should have been yesterday and I am scheduled to close December 16th. I am thrilled!

This week is so much better without all that taken care of.

I hope you all have a Happy Thanksgiving...if you celebrate it.
 

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CONGRATULATIONS LISA!!!

I hope your holiday is good too and don't drink to much in celebration of that new home.:wink2::wink2::wink2::wink2::wink2:
 

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Hi Lisa.

Yes the whole closing process is also stressful too. I am glad that you got through this process and hope that it all continues to go smoothly for you.

I am so happy for you ! That is such wonderful news! !!!! And exciting !

What a Christmas present that will be.

Hope that your stress comes down a little.

And as for your original question, I have no idea. We all try several things to bring the stress level down, and I haven't yet been able to conquer it.

I like Raglets idea.....run.....
 
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