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florie
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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hi all,
For a while now i am always cold. Does anyone else get this way? I wear a sweater all the time and everyday i need a nap.
I am taking clonipan 1mg 1/2 twice a day,is there any connection with the tiredness and feeling cold possibly. My depression and anxiety are not well neither. My appetite is not good, i seem to not crave things and eating feels like a must. I can't stay in places long and want to come home, yet i want to get out cause i can't stand being home. Am i crazy or what?
My biggest problem as most of you know is my mom lives with us. she is very depressed and never and will never enjoy life. My physchiatrist says my mother lives inside me, What does he mean by that? I am suppose to be called for counseling because of being a care taker for my mom.
I want to enjoy myself and my grandchildren but there is something that limits me from really having freedom of mind and guilt. I am so troubled lately and worried about things that worry has just taken over me. I feel like i am not who i really am any more and don't know what my life is suppose to be like. Can anyone relate to what i am saying??
I feel like death is passing threw me to best explain my day to day life. That dragged down , scared , cold feeling. I dont believe my zoloft is helping any more either. Plus there is no meds for being bi-polar.
sorry to rattle on but i feel like i am expressing myself to maybe someone who's been there. Other than that my lupus seems to be under control anyway.
Florie:needhug:
 

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Hi Florie,
First of all - :hug: :hug: :hug: It sounds like you're having a pretty rough time right now. Maybe the dose of the zoloft needs to be upped, or maybe you need to try a different med altogether - a lot of depression and anxiety meds seem to wear off over time for some people. Also, I'm not sure if you meant that you personally aren't on any meds for bi-polar or that no meds exist for bi-polar, but I know bi-polar can definitely be controlled by meds for some people. I really hope you can tell your psychiatrist how you've been feeling, maybe even print out this post and show it to him, that's sometime easier than trying to explain out loud. Hopefully he can get you on the right meds and get you feeling better soon!

Hang in there :flowery:
sf
 

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psychiatrists? Bunch of loonies!

Hey Fiorie..we make a good pair..I'm always hot! Saves on the heating bills I suppose.
About what your psyc' said about your mother living inside you(freeky thing to say if you ask me)Freud divided the personality into 3 parts,the id,which is the part that wants to do stuff,e.g "i cant afford this...oh to ****, just steal it" Now fortunately the super ego part of the mind takes the opposite view, Freud called this the 'internal parent' it stops you acting on impulse and makes you feel the guilt we all seem to need to keep society jogging along.(imagine a world where everyone just did what they fancied!.Perhaps this is what your doc was getting at.
anyway the third part of the mind is the ego which balances the other two.Thus ends the psychology lecture for today.

Youre very lucky to catch me on a sleepless night(its 4am in England) If i'd read this at 10am my brain would have turned to mush and the work of Freud would have been beyond me!.
Can I just say what works for me to get over bouts of depression? I just get angry.. I just say to myself 'I deserve better than this..I'm not letting this defeat me!!!'Then as you Americans say 'I kick ass'... mine.
good luck..love yourself a bit more you deserve it.
 

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(((hugs Florie)))

I don't have much experience in these areas, but I would hope that some counseling and perhaps a medication change could help you. It is a rather strange thing the psychiatrist said - perhaps he's seeing some similarities between you and your mother or that you are allowing your mother to affect who you are and your happiness? It's very difficult to be happy when you are around a downer person all the time, but it can be done.

My understanding was that Zoloft was not a medication choice considered good for bipolar - and there are better ones out there for that problem if that is an issue for you.
 

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florie
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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Maia,
I feel you are right about letting my mom take over my happiness or to let me be happy. It is so true that being around a downer is going to bring you down too, that's what i am going threw.

as far as the zoloft goes,that's suppose to help with my depression.It was upped to 150mg.and didn't do a thing for me. I feel the whole problem is being around negitivity which i lived all my life. I am trying to be strong but it fights me back and i go threw eposides of just crying. This has been explained to my doctor. Therefore he said counseling for step A and then step B. Living with someone who has copd,has lost her son(my brother) then 2 months later her husband(my father) to cancer, she feels lonely,angry,and sorry for herself. My doc said depression runs in my family and as far as bi-polar there is no meds for it. My only therapy right now is looking forward to being around the grandchildren for a few hours. My fianc'e is also wonderful and understanding to my conditions. We talk over and over about my feelings and my hurt,and my worries. But the bottom line is that i do need counseling and i truly hope they can understand what and how to manage this mess I am in.
No one has mentioned why i am always cold . It's warm here in florida and i can't seem to always warm up.
Thank you all for your feed back. And for all the hugs you sent me.
Florie:rose:
 

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florie, I am so sorry that you are going through a hard time right now.... As far as your Dr saying there are no medications for Bi Polar, hes not completely correct. I have some family members who are Bi Polar, the medications to treat it was designed for other medical problems. But it also treats Bi Polar. Sort of like our Lupus medications.... I also understand what you are talking about with your Mother. My Mother also has suffered depression all her life. It is so very hard to be around her for any extended period of time. When I do I then become depressed. My Mom is very negative about life in general. My sister had to finally cut all ties with her. Because if she spent any amout of time with her she would be depressed for days.... I Just wanted to send you good thoughts. Let you know I'm thinking of you. Sending a hug your way also.
 

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Florie,

I think I understand what your psych meant. Your mother, regardless of where she is physically, has such a grip on you that she is always "with" you. That feeling of death moving through you -- that's your mother and her depression pulling you down and holding you back with her own depression. Now add to that your depression. It must be very hard.

I agree that you need therapy if you are to remain your mom's caregiver. Or even if you're not. Is there a chance she could live someplace else? Perhaps at a care facility that is nearby so you could see her often? You have grandchildren, so I know you are not a child. Sometimes we reach a time of life when it's time to say "Ok, I'm going to live for me and my joy."

Just a thought.

I hope you find help with your issues. You deserve better.

Hugs,
Sunny
 

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Sorry... forgot about your cold question. One common cause is anemia. I would mention this symptom to your doctor at the next visit and see if there are any additional questions. Being underweight will also cause a person to feel cold all the time of course too!

There are a few different treatment options for bipolar. I had one friend on the old standard lithium, and Abilify is often used for this disorder. You may want to try another doctor if you feel you have bipolar and it's not being treated effectively (or not being treated at all!).
 

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Florie,

I have to also chime in and say there are medications for treating bi-polar. Lithium doesn't always work but a person I know takes Effexor XR, Wellbutrin and Zyprexa for his bi-polar. The Zyprexa is an anxiety medication. It can be trial and error to find the right combination (just like Lupus sometimes) for the best control. Counseling is really important. I would suggest it for anyone living with a chronic illness and having a depressed family member living with them. Perhaps you can discuss this with your GP and see if you need a different Psychiatrist.

As for your being cold all the time your thyroid can also do that. My husband is hypothyroid and takes a thyroid medication. Once he got to the right level he stopped being cold all the time.

Let us know how things go.

Take care,
Karen
 

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elisabethm
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florie

hi florie you are not the only person that feels cold my house is like a hot oven every time anyone comes in they always say it is to hot in here to bad i need the heat i am having 2new radiators put in my house one in the living room my central heating is never of my fire is the same hubby likes when i go to bed as he can then get the fire of it could be that you have anemia as i have it all the time i am on another course of iron tablets i have never had a blood test that has came back normal when we go on holiday to greece in the summer i am the only person that needs a cardigan the same when we go to india it is the same if we get into a conversation or the company of other people they cant beleive how cold i feel till they touch my hand and arms my hubby always says i am dead i just dont know how ha ha great hubby really get your self a hot water bottle i have hubby wont let me have an electric blanket as i would have it on all night he is not kidding i know i would hope you feel better soon let me know elisabethm
 

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florie
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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
Oh Thankyou all for helping me.:thanx:

Maia - I will have bloods done soon, maybe it will show enemia. :)

confused1 - That makes alot of sense how you explained in your first pharagraph. About mom having a grip on me. That's probably why the dr wants me to take step 1 with therapy. :give_rose:

raggedyann1 - I think you are right and the others about the medications for bi-polar. I was on wellbutrin,Remeron, effexor xr and another that i cant remember the name. But at the time zoloft was the best after all the other trials. Remeron i had to go off due to weight gain, I could hardly breathe and was starving all the time. :)

elisabethm - Maybe my next blood work will show i have anemia. but all this will be told to my rhuemy next appt. :flower2:

Again thank you all for your ideas, and concerns. I will update you all with my findings at all future appointments. :grouphug2: to all.
Florie:rose:
 

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Hi Florie, I am not going to be left out. You are of the age, or past,
where it is time that you live your life for you. Read howmany "YOU'S were in that sentence. And there are bipolar meds. And the being cold, I would tell my Rheumy a.s.a.p. cause it is probable a diagnosis of Raynauds. It is past time for you and your partner to be happy, just be happy.((((hugs)))) luv.
 

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Hi Florie :hugbetter: I hope you are feeling better!! My husband takes Depakote for being bipolar so I am just throwing the med suggestion out there. I was thinking as I was reading your post that maybe you feel guilty for trying to enjoy living life while your mother isn't. Does that make sense?:unsure: I mean its like eating ice cream in front of someone who doesn't have any.:ermm: I think that you admitting what might be going on is a big step in getting better, now that you have identified that something might be going on inside you, you may be ready for some help professionally such as a counselor, and your mom too:)
I really hope you get to feeling better, it sounds like you might be having some anxiety along with depression on top of not feeling well, I truely hope you get to feeling better!! Prayers to you and your family!:hug:
 

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Hi Florie

Sorry you're struggling at the moment - I'm a carer too and I don't think people realise how hard it can be! My husband doesn't have depression but frustration at not being able to do what he wants which can make him hard to control at times, his neurologist described him as 'naughty'!

Some of my friends are bi-polar and in the UK alot of them take anti-convulsants such as Epilim Chrono (Sodium Valporate) as mood stabilisers - and they say this has really helped them. They are usually tried before lithium. I don't have bi-polar, but do have epilepsy and take Epilim and my mood is always stable too.

Sammy
 

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Hi Florie.
I cannot imagine what you must be going through but I do know that it takes a very special person to care for one who is on in years, especially a parent. I think you're handling the situation as best you can under the circumstances... You are an amazing person, you just have to sometimes remind yourself of that fact!

X Hope you feel better soon! X
 

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florie
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Discussion Starter · #16 ·
You are all so special and understanding for me,

Halfpintfl You are so right about it being my time with hubby. But it is so difficult to really enjoy while mom suffers. dont get me wrong we do get out and visit but my thoughts are (is she okay). I went for my blood work today hopefully next month at the rhuemy appt.something will give a reason for my feeling cold. Possibly raynauds, but it never shows in the test. Or even anemia. Thanks soul sister.:flower2:

Cispence98 I am going to my phychiatrist in may. I am going to mention the depokote trial and see if he agrees. Also you are absolutely right about me feeling guilty while trying to enjoy life. I watch my mother suffer and cry trying to get around with breathing so difficult. She says the doctor said her condition is getting worse (COPD).I walked her outside yesterday and today. she had such a hard time,a few steps and then she stops to catch her breathe. I had to take my clonzipan afterwards and had a cry. Thank you for your help and suggestion on the med. Counseling is on the list for me to be called. They said within 10 days they will call me . My first step is to cope with all this and manage myself, the second step is when the day comes that mom passes away how to deal with it. I am already having thoughts of did i do enough, was i good to her etc. Thankyou again with your help.:flower2:

DNA I was taking something for people who are skitsofrinic(sp) and also siesure med. I have come a long way with my moods and anger from the past I guess i was naughty too. So somewher along the line i was doing good but now with all these issues its time for a med change. :flower2:

Taree thankyou for making me feel so special and amazing for what i am dealing with with. That is one of the sad things not hearing those words from my mom. It would be nice for her to make me feel i am special. I told her one day when she lashed out at me, Why do you want to claw at me! You never say what a good daughter i am ! She just walked away and said nothing. My fianc'e says my mother always throws me under the bus. It's sad that i can't hear those words come out of her to me. I guess that is what caretakers have to deal with and sadly I hurt because of it. Thanks again for your time with me. :flower2:

Florie :rose:
 

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florie
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Discussion Starter · #17 ·
Hello all who responed to that post . I am updating you on my first steps for help. I saw a therapist and she wants to see me every two weeks. She also said that depokote should help me with the bi-polar as someone mentioned in my post. she will speak with my phychiatrist and my next visit to him will be dicussed on it. I like the therapist alot. She will work with me on getting past certain things, learning to let things in one ear and out the other. Dealing with being a caretaker and how to feel freedom without guilt. I felt the steps she will be taken with me is hopeful. She said that my first step was wanting help. I have to remind myself that i am a person too. And that no one controls me. I feel so good that i made that step. And i wanted to share it with all of you. I promised i would let you know about it . Because you were all concerned for me and it is only fair to you all to know the out come.

My hugs and luv's to all for caring. I will keep you posted.

Happy Easter to all.:bunny: :bunny:
Florie:rose:
 

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I am usually flaming hot except for very, very cold feet. As far as no meds for bi-polar, I kow at least four people with it and they take a variety of things like, lithium, depekote, ambilify, seroquel, risperdal so the doctor is either not wanting to try things, or just is not aware which is really hard to believe. I can see that you are in a really difficult situation with being a caretaker of your mom and having to deal with your own symptoms. I hope things are better soon. Karly
 

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Hi Florie,

I'm just catching up with your post. I am so pleased that your appointment with the therapist went well. It is important to have a connection with the therapist to allow you to respond well.

The bit about "you have to remind yourself that you are a person too. And no one controls me" - I can very much relate to that. I have a terrible relationship with my mother and as I am an only child she has done everything possible over the years to destroy any happiness I've had. It's a very long story but now I feel like I am the mother and she is the child. Thankfully I only see her 3 times a year and I have had to limit phone calls as she completely drains the life from me when we speak. It's hard to explain but she makes me feel things and think thoughts I never believed possible. Thankfully I had wonderful grandparents to help structure my upbringing.

It must be so difficult for you Florie with her living with you but you are taking the right steps to move forward. Always remember that you and your hubby are the most important ones.

You are doing good girl - keep us posted on how it goes.

Hugz, :hug:

Pam xxx
 
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