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Xanax does not work for everyone:( turned out to be really bad for my mom, did not help a bit. Please call your Dr. and tell him/her how you are feeling, that the Xanax is not doing anything. As for the alcohol, that can be a slippery slope:worried: , and it is a depressant, not to mention bad for kidneys in large quantities.
I'm sorry to hear you are being stressed out by those around you, and it sounds like you are very much in need of some quiet/down time. Sometimes the world/people can be ridiculously cruel, it is times like that that you need to pamper and care for you, maybe a warm bath, a pedicure, your favorite ice cream, a long nap,a favorite teddy bear, whatever you are in to. I might add that at the beginning of a nasty flare, I sometimes become very jittery, emotionally sensitive, and anxious. Things that I usually cope well with suddenly feel overwhelming. Could this be the case for you too?
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