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Hello jaki and welcome back to the forum !

The success rate of lupus pregnancies these days compares very favourably with healthy pregnancies provided there is expert care from a knowledgable high risk ob/gyny preferaby working with the rheumatologist.
The doctors will usually do everything they can to help but there are some cases that are such high risk they can't advise pregnancy because of the risk to mother and/or baby. Active kidney disease and stroke history for example.

Since you are on Plavix you have presumably had some clotting problems.

The ideal is to be on drug free remission if at all possible; failing that, to be stable at the least on meds that can safely be taken when the benefits outweigh the risks

This is not a go- it- alone affair. Not an easy decision for responsible people for sure and of course the partner's feelings need to be taken into account since it is usually the partner who bears the brunt of the mother's inability to fully care for her children. It's also a question of 20 + plus years child rearing.
By the way, most women go through a phase when they would like another child even when it's out of the question for whatever reason.

There's also the question of how you are coping as it is.
You could do the sort of trial that women sometimes do when they are thinking of returning to employment. Follow the routine and demands that would be necessary, adding waking several times a night and bearing in mind the needs of your daughter for her share of attention, help with homework and all that

All the best
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