I went to see my Dr. yesterday.
What a waste of time and money.
His standard answer was applied: "I don't know"
He briefly mentioned sending me for an MRI and mammogram - but since I don't have adequate insurance coverage it's impossible.
He joked about making a new disorder to fit my symptoms. ha.ha.ha.
I'm so tired of living like this. Even my husband is resigned to it taking another 5 years. I don't know if I can last that long.
The Dr. said that "there is definitely something going on" and implied it could be systemic. He said that I have so many problems with connective tissue that it could be related.
But, no bloods, no tests, no referral. In part because I don't have the right insurance.
and in part because he "doesn't know" and that means it's undiagnosable.
I didn't sleep last night again because of the pain - despite the NSAID's he gave me.
It's like I'm standing in the middle of a seesaw (teetertotter) and just waiting for it to swing up or down...
Part of me wishes I could get really sick (and immediately hates myself for that thought) just so I could get a diagnosis and get some focused (ANY!) treatment. The other part just wants me to be well... without pain and all the other symptoms that I have.
I feel like I'm invisible... and with every new unrecognized symptom I fade away a little more...
Not even my voice is heard.