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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hello...
I've been out a few times with a new bloke. He seems nice, took the lupus well etc etc. The only thing is he irritates me, and I can't decide whether it's because he's annoying, or because I'm tired and therefore very irritable.

Any ideas? If I only went out when I wasn't feeling tired, I'd never leave the house. I'm not usually irritable with friends, but it takes so much more effort when you're trying to get to know someone new (and my friends understand when I cancel - I can't really do that with him yet).

Cheers :hehe:
 

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Hi Fairy,

I think you need to be 100% yourself and not try too hard to please him. If he likes you then he will do what is necessary to accommodate your needs and may not mind things being on your terms due to illness. Trying to hard to please anyone can be exhausting.

Dating can be tough but be true to yourself and see how he reacts. I would also be honest with him and make sure he understands how you feel. This may take some pressure off of you and make your time with him more enjoyable.
 

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Hi Fairy, it must be a tough situation. I would try to arrange dates at the times and places that suited me the best so I would be more comfortable so could concentrate more on getting to know him. He should understand.

I wish you well and enjoy it!

Deb x
 

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I might be better able to give you my opinion if you had some examples of what was irritating you... but overall I have to say that if he is irritating you at this early stage then he's probably not the man for you. :eek: They can get much more irritating after a few years! *lol*
 

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I have to agree with Maia! They get a lot more irritating over time! I think one of the biggest mistakes that we make as women is trying to be what men expect us to be as well. The other ladies are right. Be yourself. Rather he understands that your disease makes you irritable and decides that he can't cope with it now, than that you hide it, or think you are being unreasonable, allowing him to think that you are someone else. It gives false expectations and this I think is where relationships often founder. Not that men aren't guilty of the same thing, but you know what I mean. Or maybe he is just plain annoying. There are a lot of irritable people on this site that could give you an idea!:lol:
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
I've decided he was annoying - it's not just me. I suppose one benefit of this disease is that I'm less likely to end up with an unsuitable pillock - they're just not worth the energy :lol:
Thanks for the advice!
 

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Hmm.. well I get annoyed easily and its usually because the person is irritating but every so often I realize my irritation comes from them being healthier-happier then me or just because I am jealous of the fact that they can do what I can not.. and its then that I have to make a choice to either enjoy their company or move on.. if in the end this person just has an annoying personality then run.. nothing is more damaging to a person than being around annoying people.. I would much rather learn tolerance and patience another way LOL BUT if your feeling annoyed because they are at a different place in their life then maybe they deserve a second chance.. Good luck : )
 

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Here’s a different take on it…I think you two are on different levels. Yeah, you may like each and all of that stuff but your experiences are different which in turn makes you perceive things differently. It doesn’t mean that he’s annoying, or your cranky and tired, you just have different priorities. He doesn’t wake up every morning praying that he won’t be in pain all day like you do so he doesn’t understand. You’ve been in pain for so long that you can’t fathom the idea of just being able to be 100% completely free and unguarded like he can. I deal with this day in and day out with my son. He’s got medical issues that are painful and expensive. My other friends with children don’t get it, and it’s not that it’s their fault, so it annoys me when they gripe about not having $ to buy $100 sneakers for their 5 year old. My priority for money is different out of necessity. As I’m sure my need to protect him physically annoys them because they can just let their kids do anything under the sun. Give this guy a chance. Give yourself a chance. Who knows you may be able to teach and free eachother.
 

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before i became really ill i was in a relationship with a girl for a long period of time she had M.E which made her very tired and irritated we lived together for some time, he may be irritating you cos your tired sore and he is maybe being overly caring or just being a bloke .... thing to do is look at other aspects of your life and see if they irritate you .... noises etc people phoning , i get really annoyed if people phone me on my house phone so it may be the fact you need to stop count to ten and clear your mind and see if he is still annoying you maybe try taking things slower too :wink2:
 

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Maia;560438 said:
I might be better able to give you my opinion if you had some examples of what was irritating you... but overall I have to say that if he is irritating you at this early stage then he's probably not the man for you. :eek: They can get much more irritating after a few years! *lol*
so true, my husband2b and i have came to the conclusion that he is irrating and im irratable :rotfl:

We started dating then i became not well, most of our first dates were walks around the park,very romantic when its frosty hehe just remember to wrap up, I am a really crabbit person though so i would snap at him for sniffing or humming etc. He now carries tissues and sing to me lol

loved dating x
 
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