Joined
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158 Posts
Hi Everyone,
It's been so long that I've been here. I've really shut everyone and everything out of my life.
Lately, I've been wondering if this KIND of life is worth living for... I know, I have my daughter and my family and certain friends, but these awful thoughts keep coming into my head and these thoughts aren't like me to think.
Like my daughter, she is 7. I think to myself that it's not fair to her to watch me be sick all the time, to try and take care of me when I should be taking care of her. She deserves so much better. Maybe my family would take better care of her than I do.
I'm in bed most days feeling awful. I get up to get her ready and take her to school and then it's back to bed until it's time for me to go and pick her up.
I have NO friends anymore. I don't go out. And if I do go out, it's just to take my mom or dad somewhere since they need someone to take them. I'm 32 yrs. old and my social life is my parents!!!
I mean, I would NEVER do anything to hurt myself, but thoughts do come into my head. I'm not the type of person to think like this, but this illness is really getting the best of me lately. It's getting harder and harder to try to cope with.
Has anyone else ever had these feelings? Do you feel like your at the end of the tunnel with NO light?
Geez, I shouldn't even be complaining like this because I know there are those of you out there that are dealing with so much more than I am.
Sorry about the rant... just had to let it out!
~Dee
It's been so long that I've been here. I've really shut everyone and everything out of my life.
Lately, I've been wondering if this KIND of life is worth living for... I know, I have my daughter and my family and certain friends, but these awful thoughts keep coming into my head and these thoughts aren't like me to think.
Like my daughter, she is 7. I think to myself that it's not fair to her to watch me be sick all the time, to try and take care of me when I should be taking care of her. She deserves so much better. Maybe my family would take better care of her than I do.
I'm in bed most days feeling awful. I get up to get her ready and take her to school and then it's back to bed until it's time for me to go and pick her up.
I have NO friends anymore. I don't go out. And if I do go out, it's just to take my mom or dad somewhere since they need someone to take them. I'm 32 yrs. old and my social life is my parents!!!
I mean, I would NEVER do anything to hurt myself, but thoughts do come into my head. I'm not the type of person to think like this, but this illness is really getting the best of me lately. It's getting harder and harder to try to cope with.
Has anyone else ever had these feelings? Do you feel like your at the end of the tunnel with NO light?
Geez, I shouldn't even be complaining like this because I know there are those of you out there that are dealing with so much more than I am.
Sorry about the rant... just had to let it out!
~Dee