I haven't posted much. During the two weeks I was in Phoenix in late September my mom went into hospice. It was horrid having to leave with both of us knowing we probably wouldnt' see one another again. I'm still paying off the debt from that trip -- no way I can go back.
And, physically, I'm a wreck. I went off prednisone in early October on doctor's orders. I was getting big clumps of fat in weird places on my body. The lump at the base of my neck was huge -- I couldn't tilt my head back any more.
Remarkably, I have lost 20 pounds since then. Not dieting, just not hungry. I'd forgotten how it feel not to be hungry. I love it! My body is getting back to a normal feel again. I'm still way overweight (165 pounds at 5'6") but I can tilt my head back some now and the knobs on my hips and lower back are going away. But, I'm sick. I had a fever for two weeks accompanied by wretched back pain. I wrenched my back in Phoenix really bad. The fever went away. The pain went away (connected?) and I was feeling pretty good for a few days. IT's back. I slept all day today. My joints are in such pain. My feet hurt so bad I can hardly wear even socks. Walking is really painful. And my face ...... it's best not to talk about it. I have just become hardened to the fact that my face will hurt for the rest of my life. But the intensity is unbelievable. My husband is trying to understand and be good with what's happening. But........
During the few good days we actually had sex. The next morning I felt like I'd been hit by a truck. I had bruises all over me (and believe me, we just had plain, old-people sex).
I'm not wanting to go back to the doctor. He has nothing to offer but another round of steroids. And the new rheumy I was counting on never even came to town. He just skipped it and went to Dallas.
Please forgive me for coming on to whine. I can see how hard everyone is having it. Winter coming on. Stress before holiday season. Life, life, life.
Sunny
And, physically, I'm a wreck. I went off prednisone in early October on doctor's orders. I was getting big clumps of fat in weird places on my body. The lump at the base of my neck was huge -- I couldn't tilt my head back any more.
Remarkably, I have lost 20 pounds since then. Not dieting, just not hungry. I'd forgotten how it feel not to be hungry. I love it! My body is getting back to a normal feel again. I'm still way overweight (165 pounds at 5'6") but I can tilt my head back some now and the knobs on my hips and lower back are going away. But, I'm sick. I had a fever for two weeks accompanied by wretched back pain. I wrenched my back in Phoenix really bad. The fever went away. The pain went away (connected?) and I was feeling pretty good for a few days. IT's back. I slept all day today. My joints are in such pain. My feet hurt so bad I can hardly wear even socks. Walking is really painful. And my face ...... it's best not to talk about it. I have just become hardened to the fact that my face will hurt for the rest of my life. But the intensity is unbelievable. My husband is trying to understand and be good with what's happening. But........
During the few good days we actually had sex. The next morning I felt like I'd been hit by a truck. I had bruises all over me (and believe me, we just had plain, old-people sex).
I'm not wanting to go back to the doctor. He has nothing to offer but another round of steroids. And the new rheumy I was counting on never even came to town. He just skipped it and went to Dallas.
Please forgive me for coming on to whine. I can see how hard everyone is having it. Winter coming on. Stress before holiday season. Life, life, life.
Sunny
