[chilli]

well, i have come to the decision that i will have to accept that this particular relationship has run its course. it has been nearly 2 weeks and i havent heard from or seen him.

i have packed up his things and will drop them off at some point. it hurts to know that someone who professed to love and care for me could be so oblivious to what i am going through.

i console myself with the thought that i wont feel so ill forever but he will always be a selfish s**t.

i dont feel like i can wait any longer as change is not gonna happen.... i have thought about this constantly, and sure i will be lonely, but in reality i wont feel any lonelier than i have done and do now.

 

[Katharine]

Hi Chilli,

These decisions are hard to take and can be very painful at the time but I'm sure that, at some stage in the future, you will look back and know that it was the right decision.
They can also be hard decisions to stick by and you need to be pretty determined, including reminding yourself of all the reasons why you took that decision.

Wishing you all the best of luck and hopefully it will soon just be a distant memory,

Katharine

 

[sadieone]

Good Girl Chilli,

You are a better person for having the knowledge and strength to make that decision. And be blessed that you know when your not being loved.

Some people don't know that when a guy who says he loves you doesn't come around for 2 weeks, that means its not a healthy relationship and you are better off without him.

I have learned that as soon as you get rid of the bad in your life, it leaves more room for that good.

Good Luck

 

[Taree]

Hi Chilli

I know how you feel my friend... my luv and I broke up last week.
I also understand that behind the brave words lay a very broken heart.

If you need to chat, rant or bawl, please PM me, I'll probably need to do one or all 3 at the same time too!

X T X Keeping The Smile Alive

 

[chilli]

well.........its done, he has taken his things and it is over.

the following day i felt as if i had made a mistake.....but that was me getting scared. i know that this is the right thing to do for me. he asked me to reconsider but i think that i am set in my mind. i need to concentrate on me for once and getting my health issues sorted. i cant spend my time worrying about why my partner doesnt want to be around me.

so im trying to move forwards.....i am so hurt and need to work through that.

Taree.....(((hugs))). i will pm you soon, but feel free to pm me if you wish.

 

[Katharine]

Hey Chilli ((((((hugs)))))) to you,

These things can be so very hard to live through and at times you do wonder if you have done the right thing because it feels as if your world has come to an end. I remember wanting to hit people that said that there were "plenty of other fish in the sea" that I would "find someone very special one day" but the thing is they were RIGHT!!

Another maddening phrase is the one of "time healing" but again, it does.
When you are with the right person, you will know you are because you won't constantly be asking yourself questions. it will "feel right" without having to make maddening efforts, without having to be careful of every word you say...you will feel relaxed around each other and being together and spending time together will not even be a question because it will just happen - naturally.

And, another thing. I remember saying to a male friend of mine one day that I had got to the stage where if I was with someone he was going to have to make an awful big effort because otherwise I was fine on my own. I wanted a good kind person who was going to take care of me (not in the health sense), not the other way round. I wanted someone who would open doors for me, fight my corner, be proud to have me by his side....

sending plenty of hugs to you (and Taree) and loads of virtual Belgian chocolate - very good in times of man trouble!
:grouphug2:

Katharine

 

[Joandublin]

Dear Chilli

Of course you know deep down that you have made the right decision and kudos to you for taking the short term pain for the long term gain :hugbetter:

Your ex sounds like a right selfish git - at least from what you wrote in your first post about your relationship. You are, of course, well shot of him. Easy for me to say, I know.

I just wanted to stop by and give you some good old fashioned strengthening fortitude for the days ahead. There is another platitude which I have come to learn is very true. 'Every cloud has a silver lining'. When I look back over the years and particularly look at times when things were so horribly bad that I felt I would never be happy again - I realise that out of those circumstances something else emerged which wouldnt have if the first set of circumstances hadnt occured. Invariably I believe that there is a reason for everything and at some point we always find out that reason. Right now though, despite your pain, you must be feeling your self worth levels rising. That was a tough decision but you did it with great dignity and strength. Well done.

Your time and your health are both very precious and Im glad you realised that spending time on someone who just doesnt 'get' how special and unique you are is time badly spent. Hang in there. Focus on doing something really special for yourself. You deserve it.

Much love
Joan:rose:

PS - Hugs to you Taree as well. Hang in there....

 

[Taree]

When I have my moments of weakness and think I've made a mistake I recall something he'd said quite often before we ended things... What's up with the Danielle ******* Steele? Was always a "my way or the highway" chick but turned to cheesy mush when aI met him. After 31 yrs of being "hardcore" I've decided I like being cheesy! And there's not a hope in hades I'll ever let a man swear at me again!!!!!!!

Ta for the hugs and the chocolate is sooooooooooooo yummy!

 

[karen.w.]

((((chilli))))

I just want to echo what the others have all said!

well done chilli for being so brave!!it took a lot of guts to do what you did especially as being ill tends to leave us more vulnerable :sad:
you deserve much better..

be gentle with yourself at the moment & remember we are all here for you
sending you big soothing,healing hugs
:hug: karen x

((((taree))))
I'm sorry to hear your relationship finished too :sad:
sending you big soothing,healing hugs too
:hug: we are here for you too
luv karen x

 

[helloos]

I know what you did was really hard and I always say that when a relationship starts to bring sorrow, you are better off alone than to deal with the every day stresses.

It is time now for you to heal and take care of yourself and put "you" first. Time to pamper yourself.

I hope that you are able to move forward easily and start to feel a little better about things.

Sending you hugs and prayers for the days ahead.