TheLupusSite.com banner

1 - 20 of 23 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
468 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
:cry2: Eleven days ago I brought my little Boston Terrier puppy home to my apartment. He is a very smart puppy and caught on to his name, what go potty meant and even would go to the door when he needed to go outside. He sat patiently while I fixed food for him and slept with me, head on my pillow or on my face. Unfortunately, as the days went by, and the less sleep I got the worse my lupus symptoms got.:( I didn't keep food on my stomach for a week, my body is covered with bruises, not from Keegan, and my rash is glowing red. :mad: I decided to take him back to the breeder who will keep him as a companion. :worried: Unfortunately, I did not get any of the $450 back, I knew I wouldn't, and living on social security that is no meager sum, as well as the $58 I spent at the vet for a check up, medicine for an intestinal thing and special food, all of which I was happy to get because it was for him. I just can't stop crying, I know that is the best thing for him, as I have no one to help me with him, and he couldn't go stay at a kennel because he was so young that he didn't have all his booster shots and could have gotten sick enough to die. I miss him already, but it is the best thing for him to have someone who can chase after him and take care of him the way he needs taken care of. I just hope I can get past this sadness I feel for having to give him back. I hate this disease it keeps robbing me of things. Karly
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
154 Posts
Hi Karly

I'm sure Keegan is missing you terribly as well!:( It must have been a really tough decision to make... perhaps you could arrange with the breeder to visit him from time to time when you are feeling up to it... Doggins' never forget the people they love.:)
X T X
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,388 Posts
Karly,:there:
I am so very sorry:cry2: It breaks my heart. When you fell better can you get him back? I think it is pretty rotten you couldn't get your $$ back. It is a health issue-can you fight it. My other thought is can you get a babysitter to help out when you feel rotten? I have animals, but I have a 15 yr old and hubby.

Let us know what you can do-okay?


Love,
Becca
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
7,800 Posts
Hi Karly,

I'm sorry that you had to lake that choice. It is sad for you but if it really was making you so ill it is probably best for the dog.

My dog (now one) was also little last year but a few "hard" choices made his introduction to my world relatively easy.

First of all, he is bigger (as an adult) than your breed and when educating a Border Collie it is always good to ask yourself "do I want him doing this when he weighs 25 kgs and is soaking wet from a good run in the mud?" That means that sleeping anywhere near me was out of the question from the start. His place has always been the kitchen, and yes, I did have to warn the neighbour when we first got him as the first night he howled rather a lot, the second a little less and the third there wasn't a peep out of him. I left newspapers down for him and just decided to clean up in the morning. There is no way that I could have got out of bed to take him out. By three and a half months he could go a short night and remain clean. For the last few months his idea of night is 11pm through to 10am (haha, you can see I don't always get up early).

As for the running around, well Borders do need a lot of exercise, they are working dogs but I found that compromising by doing relatively short walks (he does alos now run off the lead every day in the fields) but playing ball inside made him stay sane. He quickly learnt that if he didn't bring the ball back to me on the couch it wasn't going to get thrown. There was no point in leaving it in the middle of the floor and expecting me to pick it up, it just wasn't going to happen.

Maybe if you were going to get a dog again you could consider and older dog (so many get abandoned) but make sure it is a dog that is used to being left alone sometimes. There's nothing worse than not being able to go out shopping. And, I would seriously think about whether you want a dog sleeping with you. After all, if you have to go into hospital, the dog is completely lost and your friends and family may not want to look after him quite that much. My dog's kitchen may sound cruel but if we are away for the night the neighbour walks him, spends the evening petting him and then brings him back to my house and leaves him in the kitchen for his beauty sleep.

Katharine
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,444 Posts
I thought you had people that could help with him? Apparently when it came down to it... they didn't.

Anyways, yes, whenever you get a puppy you have to set some ground rules from the start about what is and isn't allowed. I would never allow my dogs in my bed (then again they are giants at 160 and 115 pounds) because I know sleep is too important for me to lose over a pet.

Puppies are definitely sleep depriving, but soon they become trained to hold it all night and they learn their place to sleep as well and won't whine/complain about it in short order. But an older dog is probably a better option for someone in your position, or maybe a cat would be better since dogs will bark and interrupt sleep much more frequently than a cat at any age.

It should feel good knowing he will still go to a good home, and it sounds like you did the right thing for you and for him.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,003 Posts
(((((karly)))))

I'm not surprised you're feeling so sad,you were very excited about getting keegan :sad:

like maia, I also thought you were getting help with him?your sister if i remember correctly?sorry that didn't work out.

I thought katharines suggestion about an older dog was a good one & also maia's about a cat?It would be a bit easier for you?

I hope you feel better soon karly..sending you big sympathetic hug's
:there: take care..karen x
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
468 Posts
Discussion Starter #7
Unfortunately, he was not allowed around any other dogs because he was not old enough to have all his shots, for parvo, :eek: and my sister's dog, we never knew if he had those shots or not because they got him as a stray. Plus, he was very ill with an intestinal thing and a cold. :worried: I was supposed to keep him away from all other dogs until he got all his shots. My sister would have taken him if it had not been for that fact. What I have been facing is the people I thought would be supportive, except for my sister's emotional support, are all attacking me for letting him go, like it was an easy thing to do, it was heartbreaking.:worried: They keep asking what about the lupus was bothering me, how many times do I have to explain how horrible I feel? One person keeps saying Karla lupus isn't fatal and you'll feel better really soon, all you have to do is hang in there.:sad: It has been a year almost since I was diagnosed and everything has gotten worse and not better. :tears: The shots of methotrexate aren't really helping, my sleep stinks, I am bruised all over, I hurt everywhere, my feet are always pins and needles, my legs are still swollen:eek: My sister did however suggest a cat, since they don't need to go outside, the litterbox is easier than housebreaking, and they don't mind being left alone for awhile.:wink2: I will think about it, but not right now, everything is too fresh, I underestimated how much effort it would take to care for a really energetic bouncing Boston terrier. Maybe a rabbit, or a bird might be nice, it al depends on how dedicated I feel to having someone else to care for but myself. Sometimes these days I don't trust myself to care for me let alone someone else. I am having real difficulty with brain fog, I have lost the same bill three times in one month, two credit cards, well actually the same one twice, forgotten to pay bills, as well as "forgetting" bank withdrawls, luckily I have not been in the negative, yet. I can work past this sadness if the people (here) would quit telling me that I did the wrong thing and questioning my judgement.:mad: If I had someone living here with me it would have been better because I could have shared the responsiblity, but I am pretty much on my own here in this apartment. I haven't told anyone else who lives here yet, except the apt. manager so I can get my pet deposit back, at least that will be something back. Thank you for all your support, I appreciate the unconditional support and caring.:love2: Karly
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,289 Posts
Aww Karly, :hugbetter:

I am so sorry that you had to give Keegan back - but I have to be frank and say that if he was ill when you got him then it is the breeders responsibility and not yours.

A dog is the best companion you can have so I understand how attached you felt. My pup (11 yr old) doesn't leave my side if I'm ill and I'm not ashamed to say that he lies next to me on the bed at times.

It's possible that it just wasn't the right time for you health wise - is there the possibility of getting him back. Did you explain your situation to the breeder, maybe he can come back after he's had all his shots.

It does sound like you are going through a tough time Karly - please don't beat yourself up lass.

Thinking of you.

Hugz, :hug:

Pam xxx
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,404 Posts
Dear Karly, you must be heartbroken especially as you sent him back for all the right reasons.

I am sorry people are getting on at you, yes, Lupus may not often be fatal, but it is still extremely unpleasant and debilitating. I can't think of anyone who would want it!

Can you spend the pet deposit on something nice for you?

PS Guinea Pigs are also very easy and amusing pets.
x Lola
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
468 Posts
Discussion Starter #10
Believe it or not the person giving me the most trouble is someone who used to be a therapist to me!:eek: Here were her solutions to enable me to keep the puppy--
1)the puppy can take care of himself basically dogs are self-sufficiant, put food and water out for him and let him pee on newspapers.*Nice if you don't mind the poor dog messing al over the carpet, chewing up everything and generally getting into trouble*:eek:
2)She said I was anal for wanting to feed my dog the puppy chow he was on previously, she said it was too expensive and he could do with ordinary dog chow. *The vet gave me the prescribed diet*:mad:
3)She went about badgering me about the decision. Nice for her when she doesn't really take good care of her animals, she never takes them to the vet, unless they're near death, doesn't give them preventative medicine and keeps them despite the fact that she has too many and they are out of control in the house. She doesn't mind if the pee or poo all over the carpet...I live in a rented apartment and there are rules here and I don't like the extra clean up.
4)She actually used Cesar Milan (The dog whisperer) as a way to guilt me into getting the dog back. Nice if you do what she does and leaves her dog in the back yard, alone, with nothing to do but sit and eat. Hardly ever sees him, never takes him for a walk.
Instead of being the wishy washy person I sometimes can be, I stood up for myself:screamin: :hissy: and told her that I did what was best for me, that it was no longer her job to be my therapist, and to just leave me alone. Thankfully she has done that, and I have not heard from her.:wink2: I do appreciate all of you beyond what you can imagine and you all understand that lupus is not like a cold and merely inconvenient.:grhug: :flowery: You really learn who your friends are when something like this comes along, unfortunately there are not as many of them around now as I thought there would be.:( But the ones I do have are precious. Karly
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
43 Posts
I am sorry about you having to give Keegan back but if you were not able to give him the proper care , you made the right choice. Now the previous owner may be able to give him or her the proper home the dog deserves. I was reading somewhere but I forget where that they not only have dogs for the blind but they also have dogs for the disabled and for people who are ill. Maybe you can look into something like that because those animals are trained for example if you get to ill they can actually help you. There was one story on there a woman got ill and the dog dialed 911 for her and got her help and since you are there alone that would actually help you. They can actually fetch certain things for you if you are not able to get around and other things besides compainship. This maybe something you can look into and I will do some research about it myself and send you the details when I find anything. Don't beat yourself up to much about this I feel you did the best thing looking out for the best intrerest of Keegan. You take care of yourself. Laurie:wink2:
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
869 Posts
Karly,
You did do the right thing, sometimes being a good mom means making hard choices that hurt:sad: . I'm sorry things went the way they did ((((hugs))))) Kudos to you for standing up for yourself to the therapist! Laurie made an excellent suggestion about an assistance animal, these animals are highly skilled and already trained to walk on a leash, housebroken etc..
On having a cat: I have one,and he is a great companion, he sleeps a lot like me, often with me, and doesn't require long walks and a lot of play time. To make things even easier, I bought automatic pet food and water dispensers and an electric self cleaning litter box. He has been de-clawed and nuetered, so there is no damage to furniture, or scratching of very sensitive skin. It is also easy to put him in his carrier to go to the vet. He is also o.k. with being left alone while I grocery shop. It doesn't cost much to have him washed up, and there are a lot of cute cat accessories now:hehe: .
Lupus is so NOT equateable to a cold/flu:mad: I think people have gotten that mistaken idea from people like Dr. Phil and Oprah. Also, I have seen it reported twice that the death rate from Lupus has actually risen, something around 16,000 a year in the U.S.. As a Lupie, I have written letters (more than I can count) to senators, talk shows etc. and spoken to many people; but we really need for the LFA to do a mass media blitz that gets the truth out about Lupus :sad: .
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
300 Posts
Karly,

You made a very difficult decision....and with yourself and Keegans well being in mind! As much as you miss Keegan, your health has to come first. Puppies are very time and energy consuming to care for. You mentioned rabbits...I recall ALOT of cleanup mentioned with their care. I think an older dog or cat would surely be well suited for you.

I had the most wonderful dog for 16 years, she was my best friend in all ways..sadly I had to put her to sleep. I felt terrible guilt but knew it was the right thing for her. We get so attached to our pets...people who dont have them do not and will never understand.

Hugs to you, and hoping you will feel better over time.
Sharon
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,640 Posts
Oh ((Karly)),

I am so sorry, you had no choice but to give little Keegan back. :( I know it broke your heart..hon. You had no choice. I know you did the right thing by little Keegan and yourself.

Can you have a Cat? They are much less work..and still like to cuddle. I am so
sorry, Karley..

Love,
Sandy
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
277 Posts
Just chiming in with what everyone else has said, I'm so sorry you had to give up Keegan, I have some idea how horrible it would be to give up your new best friend (and the need to keep puppies away from other dogs until all their parvo shots have been given is very real - my dog was in the puppy ICU for a week with parvo only 10 days after we got him, the vet said we were probably going to lose him but he pulled through).

I hope you've explained the situation to the breeders, I think that's a bit stinky of them not to give you at least a partial refund, but I suppose rules are rules, or something :umm: And as others have suggested, maybe you could talk to them about the possibility of taking Keegan again once your lupus is better under control and he is a bit less of a puppy - puppies are a LOT of work for anyone, much less someone with the health considerations you have. In the meantime I hope you can go visit him (unless you feel like that would make it even harder) - when I was younger my mom wouldn't let us have a dog so I sort of "adopted" our neighbor's dog, would just spend time hanging out with him, playing with him, walking him, and would buy him a bone for christmas every year :) So maybe you could be sort of a "godparent" to Keegan at least for the time being?

And if you were considering another pet, I think a cat is a great idea, though definitely an older one - kittens can be almost as much work as puppies, I discovered :hehe: They may not have to be walked, but they can still have "accidents", keep you up all night meowing, insist on being played with nonstop....not that I'm discouraging you from getting a cat, an older cat (whose personality is also better known at that point than a kitten's would be) that is relaxed and not too active could be the perfect companion for you.

Again, I'm really sorry things ended up this way with Keegan, but I think you did the right thing for him even though it was so hard for you. Hang in there, and feel better!

sf
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
468 Posts
Discussion Starter #16
:wink2: Thank you for all your support, you all are so much more level headed than some people I have been dealing with. I thought that when I need some doggy or kitty time I will go visit my sister's dog Mac (Australian Cattle dog) and Oliver ( a short haired cat) and get in some play time and loven', they will enjoy it and so will I, and at the same time I can see my neices Hannah and Gracie. Karly:flowery:
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
612 Posts
Karly I am sorry that you had to give your puppy back. I know you were so exicted about getting him from the previous post. Puppies are a lot of responsiblity and require a lot of care. I bought a 8 week old ****zu last May and I didn't realize how much care they required when they are that young. I guess with my family dog at my mothers I wasn't there all the time when she was a puppy. The training can be a lot of work by itself especially cleaning up the accidents in the floor. I decided when i got my dog that she was going to sleep in the kitchen because my sister made the mistake of letting their dog sleep with her and she is now 11 yrs old and will not sleep any where else. I also have a cat that has been fixed and declawed and she is very low maintance. A lot of people are quick to give their opinions and judge when they aren't the ones having to live with a illness. I hope you start to feel better soon and maybe you can get a animal that requires less maintance.

BIG HUGS,
JEN
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
468 Posts
Discussion Starter #18
I told more people about Keegan

;) It went very well, the people I told were sad about my decision, for me, and gave me a nice hug and absolutley no criticism from them did I hear, seems like the former therapist is the only one with issues....Karly
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
468 Posts
Discussion Starter #19
I recently looked at the breeder's site where I found my puppy and there are photos of him romping with a bigger dog and another of him sitting alone. The description says he is almost housebroken, so I know I did a good job on that thing. He looks much healthier as if he is over the stomach thing and cold, thank goodness I was worried about that a lot. But of course she will be selling him again, so she will make double what she asked for him, if she is asking another $450 for him. If you want to see him he is at Breeders.NET, in case any of you are nearby and want a really sweet dog, he is there. Karly
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
468 Posts
Discussion Starter #20
Today is a difficult day for me

I miss Keegan so much today:tears: :sadwalk: :cry3: It's such a beautiful day and I have my sliding glass door open and I know he would have just loved to be standing there looking out at the birds and bunnies, etc. He still has not been sold, so he is still with the breeder. He's such a good mannered dog I hate to see him miss out on a family of his own, not that the breeder is not nice but she is pretty occupied. Maybe this is just a down day because I am down about feeling bad and that has made things with Keegan's memory worse. Thanks for listening. Karly:flowery:
 
1 - 20 of 23 Posts
Top