Last Straw.....

493 Views 10 Replies 11 Participants Last post by LolaLola, Nov 1, 2008

Marika

Discussion Starter · Oct 31, 2008

Over the past years I have supported my husband with his alcohol problem.....without sounding too smug he would have died a long time ago without me......then i had to look after my mum and dad in the UK. not an easy task when you live in another country. My dad died 18 monthe ago, came home to germany only to find my husband in a state, off to intensive care ect. think i put this all on before, then my mum became ill , husband was in rehab, so i pendled between germany and uk. then mum died. my sister acted her usual diva self at the funeral. There had tobe an inquest ??? that was last month 14thOctober, my sister was there and lied in court after swering on the bible, ect. it was irrelivent to my mums death so i left it. I know i will never speak to her again, my husband didn't come with me as he was looking for a job.....he was fired in march.......and this morning he has just told me he wants to leave me.....
so in 18months i have lost my dad, my mum, my sister, and now my husband......plus i have no idea how i will manage financially....he's going back to his old gitlfriend he had before me.....his mum will be pleased she was always telling me and everyone else what a lovely girl she was.

I must have been a (b)witch in a previous life......

Love Marika:worried::worried::worried::worried:

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Katharine

· #2 · Oct 31, 2008

Oh Marika ((((((((hugs))))))))

You poor dear, you have been through so much these last couple of years!

I'm afraid I can't write what I truly think of hubby's latest - I'd be thrown off the boards!!!!

The only thing I can say is that I'm sure you weren't anything nasty in another life but that just maybe (I'm one of these annoying born optimist people) this is the beginning of the rest of your life. The beginning of a change and that things will work out a whole lot better than you could ever have imagined.

I am in no way belittling your financial concerns - I do so know that feeling - but you are a survivor and you will get through this.

Whatever the future holds for you Marika, you deserve life's very best and I'm sure we'll all wish you that.

:hug:
Katharine

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kiaratrak

· #3 · Oct 31, 2008

Marika - gosh after reading your post all i can say is...... **Big Hug** im so sorry for you but if what you have said is anything to go by you will certainly come through this difficult time.......... i hope the future will bring better, brighter things for you and that you will find a solution to those financial concerns.
All the Best Kiara

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greenhaggis

· #4 · Oct 31, 2008

Big hugs Marika! :hug:

I wish I could come and give them to you in person!

Stay strong, which I'm sure you will, so seem to always be so positive in chat..

Hope to chat soon!

Hugs,

Lesley

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elle-co

· #5 · Oct 31, 2008

(((((Marika)))))
Sending you lots of hugs and praying you get through this difficult time. What you have done for others over the past few years proves what a kind hearted person you are, please don't forget that.

Elle x

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sandy123

· #6 · Oct 31, 2008

Hi Marika

A few years ago my sister had to flee her home from her alchoholic husband.
The courts made him sell the house but not before he smashed it up and sorry vomited all over the carpets, so you can imagine it was unsellable instead it was auctioned at quarter of the price.
My sister came to us with only the clothes she was wearing.
Six years on she has her own flat a full time job and she is now happy. The best thing to do is go to citizens advice etc and they will help you also see a solicitor as soon as possible.
You are not a bad person as for years my sister thought it was her not her hubby who was in the wrong.
Also i would advise you to see a councillor as this helped my sister a lot he taught her how to survive without her husband as she like you had helped him for 30 years with his addiction, sadly he is now in the gutter and it is only time for him.Where as my sister is emigrating to New Zealand in Nov to be with her daughter which she never had a penny while being with him.
You will come out of this a stronger person than you think and a few years down the line you will look back saying why did i stay for so long.
I hope this helps a little.
Hugs Sandy

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neongirl

· #7 · Oct 31, 2008

Marika,
OMG you have been through so much (((((((((((hugs)))))))))))

. I'm sorry life has been so rough to you lately. The loss of a parent/parents is a horribly hard thing to endure, you don't ever "get over it", but it does get better with time. As for the husband......Marika, you deserve so much better than what he has given you ((((((((((hugs)))))))). If it's any consolation, it shouldn't take the girlfriend too long to figure out that she can't "fix" him. With him gone, it may be a blessing in disguise, maybe now that he's out of the way, true love will find its way into your life:wink2:. As for the sister........every family has someone like that it seems........hard to believe you're in the same gene pool

Sometimes it is necessary to lop a limb off of the family tree.

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Zoi

· #8 · Oct 31, 2008

Ooooooh (((((((Marika))))))) :hugbetter:

You've been through so much during these past couple of years....

Things just have to start improving for you soon.... I mean enough is enough... Even if you were a witch in a past life, you've most certainly paid your dues in this life Marika and then some...

Things simply have to start getting better now...! :blush:

Sending loads and loads of strengthening hugs your way :grouphug2: :grhug:

:flowery:

Zoi

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ALWIN

· #9 · Oct 31, 2008

Hiya Marika

All I can say is I think you've had a b. awful time for too long and it is about time it got a heck of a lot better.

As for sons and mothers - well she'll probably be telling the new/x girlfriend about some other wonderful girlfriend from her son's past to make her feel inadequate and insecure. It says an awful lot about her character and nothing at all about you.

Some women really are simple.

I have to say, it might have been a mistype, but I do like the word gITLfriend for an x - poetic! I am going to use that from now on when ever my husband's mother mentions HIS perfect x. That would be the x that left him for another man and it wasn't the first time ... but heeeeey - what a lovely lassie!!!

Seriously. My grandma told me never to waste time on people that don't like me. It has proved to be excellent advice and saved me a lot of heartache. Suggest you take it on board with a lady like that around.

As for all your loss. And you have had an awful lot of loss. I am truly sorry. There are no words that I can think of to help. Just wanted you to know we are all out here and listening.

Sending you my love.

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lazylegs

· #10 · Nov 1, 2008

Hi Marika,

You must be wondering when you are going to be waking up from this nightmare. My head just wanted to spin reading your post, I can only imagine what you are going through. My thoughts will be with you during this trying time :hug:.

Take care,
Lazylegs

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LolaLola

· #11 · Nov 1, 2008

Dearest Marika, I am so sorry for you. Not only have you had bad things happen, you have also been treated appallingly. Please do get good advice re. Finances. You have enough stress without money worries too.
Lots of love, Lola xxx

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